EdBarr on Communication

Are you interested in Software Architecture?

2010-06-02T09:46:00.000-07:00

Do you know anyone who is? If so, give them this message:

iCarnegie Delivers its Certificate Program in Software Architecture Design at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, June 24–26, July 15–17

Matt Bass, a faculty member at Carnegie Mellon University’s Master of Software Engineering Program, will offer a certificate program on Software Architecture Design to be held at Carnegie Mellon’s Pittsburgh campus in two sessions, the first from June 24th to June 26th and the second from July 15th to July 17th.

The Software Architecture certificate program is intended for practicing software architects, aspiring software architects, software developers, software engineers, programmers, and project managers.

The course teaches attendees how to use a structured approach to create a system that supports business goals. In that regard it focuses on systemic properties such as scalability, reliability, security, and modifiability that traditional approaches often miss.

"This course benefits both the individual attendee as well as the organizations that they work for. From an individual perspective the curriculum provides both the skills and credentials needed to be recognized as a Software Architecture Professional. From an organizational perspective it provides a means for understanding how technical tradeoffs impact the business goals." Bass said. "This is something that organizations typically have a hard time doing, these tradeoffs are often made without explicitly considering the business impact until it is too late, resulting in systems that are brittle, unstable, lack desired properties such as performance or throughput, and are difficult to evolve or maintain."

Specific topics addressed in the course include:

* How to identify architectural drivers from a business context
* How to approach projects for eliciting a prioritized set of architectural drivers that reflect the business context
* How to specify architectural drivers in a way that is unambiguous and testable
* How to select appropriate architectural tactics and patterns
* How to employ a structured design process for realizing an architecture
* How to create a framework for planning architectural activities
* How to evaluate Architecture
* How to document software architectures
* How to identify for software product lines

The program is strictly limited to 40 people. All attendees are expected to be familiar with modern software engineering concepts and have participated in the development of medium to large scale software development. Discounts are available for early registrants, as well as iCarnegie and Carnegie Mellon University alumni. Those interested in registering for the six session course should register online at www.icarnegie.com/seminars.php or contact iCarnegie at 412-622-2150.

I give you one last PNC achievement.

2010-04-26T17:59:00.000-07:00

It's the last one I promise. This one is just too good to pass up.

"Achievement is going where you're going." Got that? I'll say it again, "Achievement is going where you're going." Can you feel yourself moved and running over to your local PNC branch to sign up? That stirring message, number 1000 I suppose in a list of 10,000 equally (un)stirring messages, was placed on another bus stop, on the outside so that everyone might see it. Outside. Clever that PNC ad agency. But enough of PNC.

Not only banks write dumb copy. As I read the local fishwrapper today, I came across the story of efforts to save the murals in St. Nicholas Church in Millvale, I came upon this impassioned message by the save-the-mural coordinator, "It's about institutionalizing and permatizing an important work of art...."

Can you feel yourself moved by that message?! Can you imagine this important work of art NOT being "institutionalized and permatized"? Can you imagine yourself marching in front of City Hall shouting, "Institutionalize and permatize the murals. Institutionalize and permatize the murals." Makes the hair stand up, doesn't it?

Why do you suppose these people don't check with me before they utter these inanities? Just kidding, of course. The ad types want to be creative, not direct, and the coordinators (I'm guessing consultants) want to sound impressive, not understood. If they ever heard of the teaching of a guy like me, they'd run in the other direction. After all, achievement is NOT listening to Barr (and his slight but loyal 80 followers). Achievement is institutionalized and permatized.

I bring you the next installment of PNC.

2010-04-22T15:56:00.000-07:00

I was waiting at the corner of Arch and North this morning for the 54C. It was late, and when it finally rumbled around the corner near Kindred Hospital (what was once Divine Providence Hospital), I saw what I couldn't believe, but should have suspected, a bus board on the passenger side of the lavender (honest) bus, reading, "Achievement Rides the Bus".

I don't know if you've ever ridden the 54C in Pittsburgh but the last thing that rides that bus is achievement. A lot of mullet heads, a colony of mental health patients and few disoriented elderly populate the bus I ride. I'm guessing many of them have such bad credit that they don't even have a bank account.

But, PNC has begun this "Achievement" campaign and they're going to plaster it every where, even if it makes no sense. Or, perhaps it's some kind of positive thinking campaign. "If we tell them they're achievers, they'll become such and be forever indebted to PNC for helping them." In fact, I predict PNC will begin to label every thing and many people in western Pennsylvania with this achievement thing.

Who needs it more than the Pittsburgh Pirates? Most sportswriters predict that the Buccos will lose 100 games this year. With PNC on their side telling them that "Achievement is hitting a home run" they might only lose 90 games. And speaking of miss (or Miss), Big Ben from the Steelers can benefit as much as anyone in Pittsburgh from a positive thinking campaign, "Achievement stays away from women." I can see it on the sides of kegs at tailgate parties at Heinz Field or on the sides of Steeler players' helmets.

But, back to my daily transportation, the 54C, and PNC's meaningless advertisement, "Achievement Rides the Bus". Can anyone tell me that the message really offers the target audiences a benefit or differentiates PNC in a meaningful way from their competition? Can anyone prove to me that audiences who are overwhelmed with noise will see PNC's message and process it within a few seconds (and then take some action). Even if the audience is exposed to this campaign from enough frequency, will they make sense of these messages? I doubt it. But I offer this prediction: PNC and its agency will win an Addy or two (forget the CLIO) and all will be happy. They may even move the needle a little on name recognition and they will brag on that. But in the process of spending the millions of dollars they are spending on this campaign, they will help to make John Wanamaker, and his famous comment, seem like a real achievement, "I know half of my advertising is wasted, I just don't know which half."

I give you more from PNC.

2010-04-19T17:25:00.000-07:00

I took the boys to Tae Kwon Do practice tonight, driving up Perrsyville Avenue through the upper North Side. When I stopped at the traffic light near Perry High School, I saw a bus stop (shelter) with this message on the side: "Achievement-Putting a Kung Fu grip on your finances."

I thought it was ironic that I was driving to martial arts practice and PNC was telling me that I'd be a high achiever if I got a "Kung Fu grip" on my finances. Trouble was, I had no idea what that meant. What does it mean to get a "Kung Fu grip" on your finances? And, how does that relate to achievement? Does Kung Fu teach a certain grip? Do you relate banking to Kung Fu?

More importantly, is there a benefit in here anywhere? People want to know the benefits quickly, right? Can we agree on that? Also, as we said before, outdoor, transit, bus shelters work best to build brands and support other forms of communication. But, what is the brand here? Achievement? If so, is that differentiating from the competition (although you might argue that PNC doesn't have much competition). Still, these vague messages waste a lot of money since few people see them (I look for them).

Lastly, I was surprised to see the message in this part of town. You might say it's very democratic for PNC to advertise in a poor part of town. But, as I said before, most people, rich or poor, want to know, in direct language, "How can I save money or make money?" They want ease and convenience. They want something new, something that makes them look better than their neighbors. Few are looking for achievement. Most want the easy way out.

Body language can fool you.

2010-04-16T18:04:00.000-07:00

It sure fooled the Pittsburgh District Attorney's office this year. The DA's office brought charges against a Pittsburgh PAT bus driver for indecent exposure, endangering the welfare of children, corruption of minors and reckless endangerment when he was seen (first by another PAT driver) to have put his son's head on his lap and to have patted his rear.

All PAT buses run video cameras, and after PAT officials reviewed the video, they suspected evil doing and shared the video with the DA's office. Then the travesty began. Anthony Leffler, 51, was arrested, lost his job and was told to stay away from his sons. This, of course, led to his being humiliated and publicly accused of being a pervert. Fortunately, Common Pleas Judge avid Cashman saw a ridiculous situation and threw the case out, proving that common sense can prevail over poor body language interpretation.

What should you think when a child's head is put in his father's lap? A sex thing going on? What should you think if a man pats his son's (or, worse, his daughter's back side)? A sex thing going on? It seems ridiculous to even consider, doesn't it?

What should you think if the person across from you folds his arms across his chest? That he's angry? Maybe he's cold. What if a woman looks at you? Should you assume she's automatically interested in you? Maybe you have a new pimple on your nose.
What should you think if I look away and up to my left? That I'm lying? Maybe I'm just shy.

We are told that in emotional situations we communicate with few words and much body language (the famous and misrepresented Albert Mehrabian study at UCLA). If it is true that we use body language to understand each other in emotional times, we must think carefully and realize that body language needs to be consider in context and not in isolated body clues. Or, we will attribute messages that aren't being sent or don't exist.

This happened to Anthony Leffler and he suffered for it. Wouldn't you like to talk to his accusers and ask them why they see pedophilia when a dad puts his son's head in his lap and pats his butt?

BTW - Mehrabian said that we express our feeling 7% by words, 38% by tone of voice and 55% by body language. He didn't say that we always communicate this way. It's in emotional times when we express feelings. The bus driver was being emotional and he used body language to expres it. Unfortunately, some troubled people with wild imaginations misunderstood.

Achievement stretches a dollar.

2010-04-14T19:45:00.000-07:00

Get it?

If not, welcome to lame headlines, Part 2.

PNC (by the way, my bank) has a series of billboards around town (around the region for all I know) with inane messages like the one in the title of this post.

Tell us, PNC, how does achievement stretch a dollar and how do you expect us to figure that out when we drive by your message at 60 MPH while listening to the cd player, fending off the tailgaters and keeping the kids from throwing things out the window?

Billboards are most effective in brand support, right? We're not going to run to the bank to sign up because we saw a message on a billboard. But how does your message help build your brand when no one knows what the heck you're talking about? Perhaps you will say because you have fitted it with the other millions you are spending on this "achievement" thing.

Well, here's some free advice: Use verbs in your messages, instead of nouns that have been created from verbs. In other words, tell the audience to achieve something, if you must. Verbs hold our language together and drive our communications. And,while you're at it, ditch this achievement campaign and differentiate yourself in some meaningful way. Take a lesson from Michael Porter or Trout and Ries.

Or, go back to advertising 101; people want to know how your product will bring them a BENEFIT. They don't want to be told to work at something, like achievement. And they certainly won't work at figuring out what you're trying to tell them when you say "achievement stretches a dollar". They want a bank for what? High interest rates on their savings, easy to get loans with easy terms and low interest rates. (Or, in this age, they want a bank that promises to be solvent in two years.)

Here, again, as with Wheeling Jesuit University (Is PNC related to WJU somehow?) we see ad types being clever (hoping to win awards or be like Mad Men) and executives who have swallowed this garbage for some strange reason. Maybe they don't want to look non-creative. So, I say to PNC (my bank),as I said to WJU, fire your ad agency (Is it the same one?) and the staff responsible for bringing you this lame work and start to think like a customer.

Use Your You.

2010-04-13T13:27:00.000-07:00

No, I didn't just write a typo in the headline. And, you didn't misread the sentence. "Use Your You" is the slogan of Wheeling Jesuit University, as recently seen in a newspaper insert, titled, "College Bound", an insert no doubt created especially to draw college advertising dollars, and presumably targeted to teens and their parents.

If that weren't bad enough, the university seems to have created a whole campaign around this vapid message. (See their website http://www.useyouryou.com/)

The word "lame" was created for this slogan. If ever there were an inane message, this takes the (dis)honors.

What could "Use Your You" possibly mean? Use your (emphasis) you, not someone else's?. And, what message of benefit does it give an 18 year old looking for a college to attend? How exactly does one use his/her you? Or, is the message meant to take the "against position", as in against the colleges that won't let you use your you? Perhaps it competes with the colleges that tell you to use your not-you. I don't know; it's baffling to me.

But, I've seen this kind of thing before, especially from America's colleges and universities. This ridiculous message comes from some creative type in the recruitment office or some academic who convinced the recruitment office that he was creative. I can just picture the person philosophizing and then rhapsodizing over his/her message. Ironically, the message couldn't have been written by a Jesuit. Jesuits are known for their practicality. This message smells distinctly of academia.

Why doesn't the message work? For many reasons. It offers no tangible benefit. It has an assonance that makes it nearly impossible to say. It makes little to no sense, especially to readers whose minds are already cluttered beyond control with straightforward messages from the world's most sophisticated messengers. You know, people like Coke, Pepsi, McDonald's.

And what are 18 year old boys, WJU's target audience, interested in? I'll give you a hint, it's a three-letter word. Eighteen year old boys already spent their early teens discovering their "yous". I know; I was one. They long ago knew how to use their you. I'll admit, though, that 18 year old girls, being a more mature group than the boys, might be thinking about how to use their yous as they enter college. But still....

Let's face it: the message sucks. It will not attract attention, lead to interest or action. No one knows how to act on it, anyway. So, I suggest that WJU (that's Wheeling Jesuit University) immediately fire its ad agency/marketing firm as they obviously are run by a bunch of creative types who spend all day wondering how to win Ad Week awards. Or, if the campaign was created internally, move the writers back to the classroom where they will do less damage and hire a good writer/marketing person. Hire someone who knows that clever seldom works in media environments as saturated as ours.

If nothing else, put these writers in a room and tell them they can't come out until they use their yous.

You must understand your audience.

2010-04-05T19:33:00.000-07:00

I recently travelled to Latin America where I watched a difficult business transaction unravel during a late night dinner.

The American, Mr. Low, whom I accompanied, was negotiating business contract language with a Latin American, Mr. High. The relationship began to disintegrate as Mr. Low (representing a low context culture) insisted that the proposed contract re-structuring include specific financial goals. Mr. High (representing the high context culture) was quite insulted by the demand for the specific language.

"You don't understand my culture," he said. "My word is my bond. If I say I will do it, I will. This is bad. We don't do things this way in my country. You should have studied my culture before you came here."

"You should have studied mine," Mr. Low replied. "I have a boss and he wants to see the language in the contract. What if you or I die before the end of next year. Who will remember our agreement? I trust you, but I am being asked for this contract language. If you had studied my culture, you would know this is how we do business."

The situation was worsened by the fact that Mr. High had a colleague with him and didn't want to lose face. Mr. Low wasn't worried about that, to him this was just business.

I had studied the difference between low context cultures and high context cultures but this was the first time I had witnessed them in action. And it was uncomfortable. The Latin American man seemed genuinely hurt by the American's approach and the American seemed genuinely puzzled and perplexed by the whole thing. As for me, true to my Libra nature, I saw the points both of them were making.

These two intelligent and otherwise friendly businessmen were simply struggling inside their own high and low context cultures and neither understood the other's culture enough to step out of their ways to find a third path. The evening ended with Mr. Low repeatedly telling Mr. High as we walked back to our hotel that he trusted and respected him while Mr. High tried to understand what was happening. It was rough. And, as far as I know, they still have not resolved the issue.

How do you treat others?

2010-03-10T11:43:00.000-08:00

I just returned from a visit to Tampico, Mexico, where I taught "Business Communications" with my CMU colleagues, Chris Labash and Andy Wasser. We were the guest, generally speaking, of AiSTAC, the Asociacion de Industriales del Sur de Tamaulipas, A. C. We spoke at a campus of Tech de Monterrey last Friday and Saturday to over 100 business people about how to use better communications to give Mexico a better position in the global economy.

I said we were the guest of AiSTAC, and we were. But, we were also the personal guests of Luis Apperti, a man of great energy, intelligence, and passion. Luis took us everywhere we had to go in his SUV, from the day we arrived to the day we left. He showed us the sites of Tampico, Mexico, good and bad. He treated us like honored VIPs, finding us the best food and the best company. He even took us to meet the mayor of Tampico.

Chris and Andy and I were safe in the good hands of Luis. None of the three of us knew much Spanish. Chris kept mixing his limited French with his limited Spanish while Andy and I communicated with gestures. Thank goodness Luis has a fine command of English (as well as most of the other people we met) or we would have been reduced to grunts.

Luis kept us safe when our car was stopped by the heavily-armed and much suspicious soldiers who gathered at many traffic lights along the major highways. Because Luis is so well known, we were typically passed right through such checkpoints. But, we would have been like Innocents Abroad had we been on our own.

We spent many hours with Luis, enjoying every minute of it. We ate every variety of shrimp, tuna, beef, and all things Mexican (as in HOT). I should say that I ate mostly fish (ah, the sea bass). Luis was such a gracious host that he even collected us at our hotel on Monday, the day of our departure, at SIX IN THE MORNING to drive us to the airport, where he made certain we filled out the right forms and went into the right lines. Then, as we landed in Houston to make our connecting flight to Pittsburgh and turned on our cell phones we had messages from Luis asking if all was going well.

This was the treatment we received from our Mexican friends! And, how do we treat them? Luis told us about a border crossing he had to make into Texas. Because his family came from Italy when he was young, and because he is light-skinned and blue-eyed, he looks more Italian than Mexican (despite the fact that he has lived in Tampico most of his life).

Anyway, about this border crossing, he was singled out and told to go to a less crowded line at the border. In the process he was given a piece of paper with the letters "OTM" written on them in ink by the border guard. When he asked what "OTM" stood for, he was told, "Other Than Mexican." If that were the typical preference shown to "whites", and if the treatment of Mexicans were not too bad, we could, perhaps, overlook that incident. But, alas, it isn't.

Luis also told us a story of having been singled out and prejudiced against, essentially because he had a new car and a look of wealth. He had his car strip searched and was "patted down" by authorities with guns and the ability to tear up his visa, and cause him untold bureaucratic headaches if he wanted to return to the USA (where, incidentally, he has businesses). Luis speaks English very well but didn't tell his guards and he listened to one of them say he was going to "get this fat fuck."

The story had a happy ending, fortunately, but it pained Chris and Andy and me to hear after we had been treated with so much kindness, respect and courtesy, not just by Luis, but by everyone we met in Mexico, everyone. Our experience made us reflect on the few days last year when Luis and several of his colleagues visited us at CMU. We realized that we clearly did not understand hospitality as the Mexican people understand it.

Luis and his Mexican countrymen have taught us that the standard for courtesy, respect and generosity is much higher than we thought it to be. The trip has taught us, once again, that if we want to communicate, we do it not just with language but with our actions. It has taught three of us that we need to be vigilant about the actions of our countrymen, those who are stopping people at our borders and subjecting them to the discourtesies, examples of which Luis shared with us.

I wrote a love story!

2010-02-13T15:45:00.000-08:00

I haven't written many stories in my life and never really bothered to try to publish them. I have short stories, book-length stories, a memoir, and a love story (from a woman's pointof view)! I decided to post them on my website for people who like to read.

As I said above, I wrote a love story and I have posted it as a Valentine gift to my friends and anyone else who wants to read it. If you are interested, go to the book section of my website www.heinz.cmu.edu/edbarr. (Click on the words "love story" in the blurb.)

I hope you enjoy the story, especially those of you who are stuck in the house, unable to move because of the load of snow in Pittsburgh and the Northeast. Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you find love, recognize it and cherish it.

I'm getting my 15 minutes of fame!

2010-02-12T10:08:00.000-08:00

I will be interviewed about my free book ("Ask the Right Questions; Get the Right Job") on WPXI's "Our Region's Business" on Sunday at 11a.m. It is rebroadcast on PCNC-TV at 3:30 and 7:30 p.m. that day, and 3:30 p.m. on the subsequent Monday, and then two more times on WJAC-TV (Johnstown – Altoona) at 6 a.m. and WTOV-TV (Wheeling – Steubenville) at 6:30 a.m. It constitutes my 15 minutes of fame!

I have been interviewed on television before (and on the radio and in newspapers). When I was a PR guy and handled news media relations, I often appeared on newscasts answering questions and providing some flak for my employers. That was often uncomfortable.

But this time, I had fun! Bill Flanagan is a great host. And, I had once invited him to lecture my marketing class (years ago), so we knew each other a little. In any event, the six minutes I appeared on his program flew by in a heartbeat. I felt full of enthusiasm, I knew my subject, I was energized and only a wee bit nervous.

So, we'll see if I do well. What is well? I'd say: at ease, knowledgeable, coherent, animated, audience-focused, articulate, confident. That's a tough yardstick to measure against and I'm likely to be my own worst critic. If you watch it, let me know how you think I measure up!

How did you hear about the snow?

2010-02-10T13:17:00.000-08:00

This past week has seen a lot of snow in Pittsburgh. That snow has caused a lot of headaches and will likely cause more (think about that ice in your downspouts that may pull pull away from your house)!

Be that as it may, we all heard, in one way or another, that the BIG snowfall was coming. I'm curious about how you learned about the impending snow storm and how you managed to communicate with others about it.

Were you listening to the radio? How about TV? Get any text messages? Phone calls? As a communication professional, I'm curious to know what media attracted and connected with you and where they may have failed.

Were you half way to work or school before you knew those places were closed? How did you get your updates? How do you think we could have communicated better?

You don't have time.

2010-02-02T17:04:00.000-08:00

According to a recent study, you are processing 100,500 words per day. These words come in the form of 171 e-mails (the average for business people each day), 3000 commercial messages, 1000 blog posts per minute and messages on clothing, toilet stalls and human skin, among other places.

You don't have the time (or, as the techies say, the "bandwidth") to process all of that information. So, you avoid, or ignore, most of it. That which you avoid is academic, bureaucratic and legalistic, but also, clever.

What are the clever messages? I saw the following messages this afternoon as I looked out the bus window on my ride home on the 54C:

"Everyday people need food every day" Get it?! These are everyday people. (Remember Sly and the Family Stone? They had a hit with everyday people.) Anyway, everyday people need food every day. Does that make you want to run to the Food Bank? How about this:

"Pittsburgh is not just our hometown; it's our only town". Does that make you want to run to Allegheny Valley Bank? No? Gee, they're only in Pittsburgh. How about this bank:

"Creativity. You deserve that from your bank." Really? I'd like a higher interest rate on my savings or access to a lower mortgage rate. Creativity I can do without. If I were First Niagra, I'd want creativity from my ad agency. (PNC doesn't do much better with this gem: "More green practice today; more green trees tomorrow". Does that make you want to bank there? Green trees? Are they after a younger demographic? Do younger demographics worry about trees more than us old folks? Or, is the bank trying some subliminal thing with "green". If only it were true.)

Whatever the answers, people (young or old) have no time and no energy to figure out clever advertising messages, especially when the messages are placed on billboards that drivers pass by at 55 mph (at the slowest). People want benefits. They are selfish and ruled by this acronym "WIIFM", what's in it for me? You better tell them quickly; they have lots of YouTube videos to watch and Facebook messages to post.

Do you want your message to sink in? Make it direct and simple, not too clever. Follow the lead of (I know, you'll scoff), Attorney Edgar Snyder who says on his busboard, "Injured? Free legal help". It was placed at a bus stop outside West Penn Hospital! That message gets through to a qualified audience in hyperspeed. Or, use the Pep Boys approach: "4th Tire Free". Or, this message: "We cash all tax checks". Or this for a cold Pittsburger: "Heater Sale."

Those messages lack "creativity" you'll say. I say, no one has time for creative. Competition is at an all time high for every business. People have little disposable income. They are using coupons at an all time high. Buyers are looking for words like, "Sale", "Save" and "BOGO".

Every so often, a smart creative type combines simple with creative as when Volkswagen's agency created the "Think small" campaign. Or, when McDonald's told tired overworked customers, "You deserve a break today." But, those combinations of simple and creative are few and far between.

If you want to connect with a potential customer, spend your promotion dollars wisely. Be direct with him or her. State the benefit quickly. Use an action verb. Use the word "you". Be conversational. Don't use the Qdoba approach and ask, "What are you going to love at Qdoba?" The customers may not be able to think of an answer. (BTW, have you ever seen a worse name, "Qdoba"? Much evidence suggests that simple names make successful products and services, but that for a later post. Right now, you don't have the time.)

The AlphaBandit Strikes!

2010-01-25T18:52:00.000-08:00

I don't usually have an opportunity to laugh on the 54C, the PAT bus I take just about every morning and evening to and from Carnegie Mellon University. But, today was an exception.

I boarded the 54C, bus 2609, near Lulu's Noodles on Craig Street in Oakland for my trip through lower Shadyside, central Bloomfield, and the Strip District and on to the North Side where I disembark for the Mexican War Streets.

The bus was of an older model, dirty and creaking from rusty springs as it labored up Craig Street. I climbed aboard after an elderly man who used the aluminum handrail. The bus was being captained by a scowling, middle-aged driver with reflective sunglasses and a Fu Manchu beard. Minding my own business, I looked for an empty seat near the middle of the bus, not concerned about a window seat since the windows were coated with the splashed remnants of recent snows and road salt.

Actually I was mostly concerned with getting an intact seat, as many of the seats were half popped off, springs protruding. I found a seat and pulled a book from my bag, in this case "Repositioning" by Jack Trout, and began to read.

Before the bus turned on Liberty Avenue, many of the passengers de-boarded for the new Children's Hospital, leaving only a few North Side bound passengers. That's when I spotted the work of the diabolical villain I will call "The AlphaBandit."

If you ride the PAT buses, you will see a series of signs on the windows. From the front of the bus, they begin with the request, "Please step to the rear." If you've ever been on a crowded bus near shift change in Oakland or at class changes at Pitt or CMU, you'll know how crowded the buses get. Most people ignore the signs so that they can lean near the wheel wells in the front of the bus and put their packages in the spaces above the wheel wells. That area provides a place to better balance on the usually unbalanced buses.

Anyway, the signs are meant to solve a problem most drivers don't want to be bothered with, crowd control. The drivers seem resigned to their crowded fates and ignore the bunching of humanity at the front of their vehicle while plowing along giving their standing riders a thrill on every turn.

After asking the good folks of mass transit to move back, the next sign prods riders gently by asking, "A little farther please." That's precisely where the "AlphaBandit" struck on bus 2609. A nefarious and clever wordsmith, the "AlphaBandit" moved several letters in the decal sign to create the message, "A little fart...please."

I know. I know. It sounds so juvenile, doesn't it. But, come on, if you've ever ridden the bus, you'll know it isn't a real pleasurable or thrilling experience. We PAT people have to take our bus entertainment anywhere we can get it. And if it's in puerile entertainment, so be it. I laughed and snickered at that sign for 15 minutes like a twelve year old kid until I disembarked at West Park.

Maybe I was tired. Maybe I was giddy from a day of teaching. Maybe it was the effects of my head cold and runny nose. Whatever it was, I was entertained by the work of the "AlphaBandit" and look forward to his/her next creation. In fact, I wonder how the "AlphaBandit" might modify the last message on that bus, "Thank you for stepping to the rear". I know it will have something to do with the word "rear". Anyone have any suggestions?

What word or phrase made you crazy last year?

2010-01-12T08:34:00.000-08:00

I'll never forget the first time I heard someone say, "We need to drill down to the granular level to find that information." As an English major who became a marketer, I was fascinated by the image of drilling into a pile of data, like a team of oilmen on an ocean rig, to find answers. The metaphor intrigued me.

But then, as the morning meeting progressed, I heard the words used maybe five more times. By the end of the day, I'd heard "drilling down" used probably ten more times. And, by the end of the week, I had heard it so much I was ready to scream the next time I heard anyone say they were going to drill down for anything! The phrase had changed from a fresh image into a stale cliche, an old, moldy donut of language left for the rats to pick over.

Unfortunately, especially in the business world, occasionally some poetic soul invents a new way of comparing things and the copycats rush to use it... over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over....well, you get the point.

That thought led me to wonder what words or phases made you want to scream last year because they had become trite, worn out, overused, hackneyed and cliched buzz. If nothing comes immediately to your mind, I'll nominate a couple for your consideration: "death panel", "tweet", "google", "rogue", "ping", "win-win", "touch base", "Web 2.0", "social media marketing", and "whatever."

I know that "google" has become a verb and "tweet" is rapidly approaching that status, but, still.... Anyway, let me know what language is bothering you! Do some drilling down! It's your deliverable for the week! It will produce a win-win for all of us!

Are you overwhelmed yet?

2010-01-09T18:39:00.000-08:00

I just read "How Much Information? 2009 Report on American Consumers" from Roger E. Bohn and James E. Short of UC San Diego. It tells us how many hours we're spending with media and how many words and bytes it relates to. Ultimately, it gives evidence to what we're all feeling, overwhelmed!

The report says, "In 2008 Americans consumed information for about 1.3 trillion hours, an average of almost 12 hours per day. Consumption totaled 3.6 zettabytes and 10,845 trillion words, corresponding to 100,500 words and 34 gigabytes for an average person on an average day. Interestingly, information consumption in bytes increased at only 5.4 percent per year, as TV and radio still dominate consumption with 60 percent, although a third of the words and half of the bytes are received interactively.

Are you spending 41 percent of your time watching TV? Americans are, according to the report. The authors tell us that we work for three hours a day (on average) and sleep for seven, and that "three-quarters of our waking time in the home is receiving information." Only 24 percent of our time is spent on a computer, receiving information.

So, what are we receiving? Words and bytes. In 1980 4,500 trillion words were consumed. That has grown to 10,845 trillion in 2008 or 100,000 words per American per day. TV gives us over 45 percent of those words. But, we live in a digital age, so the authors tell us about bytes, too.

When we are measuring bytes, moving pictures dominate all other types of information, that means television, computer games and movies in theaters. The authors estimate that the average American consumed about 34 gigabytes per day in 2008, information that would fit on 7 DVD discs, those represented a 350 percent increase.

I've just scratched the surface of the report, but it supports everyone's feelings of being overwhelmed with information from every corner, from blogs to books and TV and text messages. It serves to remind us that our audiences are being showered with 100,500 words each day and 34 gigabytes. To share a message with your audience in the midst of that clutter, you need to begin with the audience. Live in the Land of the Audience!

I enjoyed these books; you might, too!

2010-01-07T13:40:00.000-08:00

1. "Profits Aren't Everything, They're the Only Thing" was written by George Cloutier with Samantha Marshall. Cloutier has been called "The Turnaround Ace" by Business Week. He and Marshall subtitle their book, "No-Nonsense Rules From The Ultimate Contrarian And Small Business Guru."

Coutier is CEO of American Management Services and Co-Chairman of Partner America and has spent his working life helping small businesses after graduating from Harvard College and Harvard Business School. His book depicts him as a plain spoken, in-your-face pragmatist and true contrarian. For instance, he titles "Profit Rule 12: Don't Treat Sales Like Your Mother-in-Law".

Too many CEOs and business owners are afraid to sell, according to Cloutier. "If sales are down, there's always something or someone else to blame....if you're losing sales and heading for financial trouble, it's your fault (and) by far the biggest crime against sales is the owner's unwillingness to mix it up with customers." In other words, Cloutier says, get cozy with your customers...and your mother-in-law!

"Profit Rule 10" is "You are not in business to pay your vendors." And, to that Cloutier says, "Never pay your bills on time." He calls cash management "hand-to-hand combat"! If you like that, you'll love this concept, "Instead of stressing over writing checks to your vendors, you should view them as your best source of financing." In this regard he suggest you be "...evasive and non-committal about your next payment...." Hey, the check's in the mail, Bubba!

If you think teamwork is the way to success, you'll want to skip this book. Cloutier says in Profit Rule 14, "Teamwork Is Vastly Overrated." I'm not making this up! He says, "There is no $ in Team" and "Employees crave strong leadership and structure."
He adds, "Don't encourage diverse opinions. It's a business, not a democracy." Lastly, he challenges business losers by telling them, "It's Not the Economy, Stupid, It's you!" He tells them, "Sure, small business owners can blame the economy for their problems. Most people do." So, suck it up, partner, create a real plan and watch your relatives, if they work for you, because they're probably robbing you blind.

2. If you want a book that's a little more on the positive side, and concerns a bigger business, read "Six Rules For Brand Revitalization" by Larry Light and Joan Kiddon. Light was Global Chief Marketing Officer for McDonald's during the 2002-2005 turnaround at the fast food giant. Kiddon consulted with him from Arcature LLC. This was after McD's CEO Jack Greenburg said, "Marketing is broken at McDonald's" and the stock price at the company had fallen from $45.31 in March 1999 to $17.66 in September 2002.

Light and Kiddon describe the McDonald's fall as being slow, painful and public, explaining that it failed to attend to the three basics of renovation, marketing, and innovation. In effect, the company was intent on opening new restaurants but not improving anything about them. In so doing, say the authors, the chain turned its back on the principles of founder, Ray Kroc, and his desire to make all customers feel special.

The authors describe these issues at Mickey D: outdated store designs, inconsistent advertising, overemphasis on deal promotions, declining product quality, poor service, reduced employee pride and a bunch of other woes, anyone of which might by itself wreck a company. So, recognizing a "Crisis of Complacency," they established the Three Cs of Turnaround: Clarity of Direction, Consistent Implementation, and Commitment from Top Down and created a "Plan to Win" with four goals: More Customers, More Often, More Brand Loyalty and More Profitability.

In their efforts they established six rules: Refocus the Organization, Restore Brand Relevance, Re-Invent the Brand Experience, Reinforce a Results Culture, Rebuild Brand Trust and Realize Global Alignment. And, it worked. In 2004 and 2005 McDonald's began to win awards and profits. Even today, we see the lasting effects of their work begun eight years ago. It's a story of hard work and victory!

The two books have similarities and differences, not the least of which involves payments to vendors and teamwork. But, I'll let you sort that out. I recommend that you read both books because they are well written, easy to read, and useful!

Steeler Fans, Don't Despair!

2010-01-04T12:59:00.000-08:00

Yes, the Pittsburgh Steelers have missed the playoffs. But, if you need ACTION this coming Sunday, if you want COLOR and CEREMONY and DRAMA played out under a GREAT DOME, I invite you to the Pittsburgh Latin Mass. Wait, wait, wait.....don't leave me.

Hey, I'm not kidding. I like sports as much as the next person. I played baseball in high school and college and was on the high school football team (at my high school a 120lb, 5'4" running back didn't see much action). I even coached a middle school football team way back when I taught at DS Keith School in Altoona, PA. So, I mean what I say here.

Steeler fans make Steeler football a religion of sorts. Don't you agree? Now that the team occupies the same plane as the Kansas City Chiefs and Cleveland Browns and will disappear until next August, I suggest an alternate form of worship, the Pittsburgh Latin Mass.

How can a church service replace your football worship this coming Sunday? Let's see. The Pittsburgh Latin Mass (PLM hereon) has a story, the last supper of Jesus, and perhaps the world's best known celebrity and quarterback of sorts. He faced insurmountable obstacles in his game (the real Super Bowl) and a real solid defense, the Pharisees and the Romans.

But, he had a Game Plan! And, this contest had action, color (in this case lots of purples and reds), pageantry (certainly), interesting sounds and a rabid crowd. JC was playing for all the marbles, all the world's marbles. The PLM, which recreates that contest of 2000 years ago, has the same intensity as a Steeler Sunday, and more! In addition to the stuff already mentioned, the PLM has inspiring music, but not in the form of a marching band. In fact,the PLM held every Sunday at St. Boniface Church near Pittsburgh's North Side (high mass at 11am), has one of the best choirs in western Pennsylvania. They sing in Latin!

Speaking of Latin, it's an ancient and mysterious language. So, you can relate it to the mysterious language used by Big Ben: "Slant right...Button hook" and so on. But in this case, you'll hear, "Dominos vobiscum. Et cum spiritu tuo." What's not to like? Add to that the pervasive aroma of incense and you have a formula for a great Sunday. (You can do the hotdog odor later at home.)

The PLM will even show you some killer instant replays, but in this instance we call them "The Stations of the Cross". You won't see any athletic highlights like this in any century real soon. JC took more hits than Hines Ward will ever know. Talk about hamstring injuries, how would you deal with nails in the hands. It gives new meaning to "nailing the quarterback."

So, this coming Sunday don't despair. You can still get your religious fix (regardless of your denomination) by visiting the Pittsburgh Latin Mass. You can sing, cheer (quietly) for the underdog, watch an incredible contest reenacted, and you might even see a Rooney there!

We all need culture training.

2009-12-18T14:34:00.000-08:00

I distributed a detailed plan to the students in my writing class at Heinz College of Carnegie Mellon University and a student from Turkey objected to the plan saying, "We would never give that much detail in my country."

I suspected he wouldn't because of the difference between low and high context cultures. I told him that but he seemed confused because, I presume, he did not know the difference between high an low context (the Edward Hall theory).

I explained the theory as best I could and told him that in the low context USA executives need much detail. He was unimpressed and I had to pull rank saying, "Hey, if you're working with Americans, you need to give them detail." End of story.

I hated myself for that! On the same evening, I told the class they needed to "get a partner." The usual delay ensued as people who sit next to each other but seldom talk had to group up. After a few minutes one male student from Turkey still hadn't a partner, so I asked him again. Still he did nothing but look confused. A little irritated, I asked him, "Who is your partner?" and he said quietly and sincerely, "My wife." Didn't I feel like an %#@hole!

It made me wonder how many similar mistakes I have made over my ten years of teaching people from all over the world at CMU. I know I must have made many mistakes and the students were too polite to tell me. And, if I'm making them and I teach communication, how many mistakes are the rest of the faculty and staff making?

I may be making these mistakes because I haven't taken an opportunity at CMU to learn about our students, the many who come from India, China, Korea, Malaysia, Japan, Taiwan, Turkey, Mexico, Italy and many other countries whose cultures are unlike America. But, I'm not sure any opportunities exist in Heinz College. CMU has a learning center for the whole campus but most of us are too busy teaching to look around.

If it's not happening at CMU where he have programs with 75% of students from Asia, what is happening at UPMC, KFC, or at the little start-up down the street? I know of little such training. If it weren't often funny, it would be sad. For example, I just read about a company that tried to sell baby food in Liberia. The company put a picture of a cute baby on the food jar but no one bought it. Later, the company learned that packages in Liberia show pictures of the food inside the packages!

We are a global community with global problems. How will we ever cooperate if we can't understand each other? We need culture training!

If you want to achieve a goal...

2009-12-15T14:32:00.000-08:00

...take a lesson from John Malkovich.

If you watched "Dangerous Liaisons," a movie of a few years back starring Michele Pfeiffer, Glenn Close, a young (and topless) Uma Thurman and John Malkovich, you'll remember the monomaniacal focus the character Valmont (Malkovich) had on women. If he set his sights on a woman (and he regularly did), forget it, she was his. He wouldn't take "No" for an answer. He was single-minded, driven, and undeterred. And, he understood human nature and human frailties. He scored at will. I would not want that character after my wife (despite her great virtue)!

Valmont gives us all a lesson in purpose, and you might say, goal setting. If you want a job or a client, or a love, you need a singleness of purpose that borders on obsession. It also helps if you have a deep understanding of human nature, strengths and frailties. I suppose you also need a good portion of courage and, in some instances, a shortage of conscience.

In any event, when students ask me what to study for success in marketing, I always mention psychology first, along with art, anthropology, literature, research methods, and several other subjects. When they ask me how to get a job, I suggest they pick the place where they've always wanted to work, learn as much as they can about the needs of the employer and focus on it, ala Malkovich. I jokingly tell them that if they want to work at Microsoft they need to find out where Bill Gates parks his car and lay in front of it until he hires them.

I don't go for pop psychology, but after watching "Dangerous Liaisons" I felt that anyone can get what he or she wants by focusing and positively visualizing. Even if you don't agree, rent the movie and watch Malkovich wear away the defenses of Michelle Pfeiffer and pay the ultimate price to defeat Glenn Close at her own game. I promise you'll enjoy the movie!

This product can't miss!

2009-12-14T08:20:00.000-08:00

I was once involved with what I thought was a "can't miss" product, a 100% rubber booty for horses, kind of a “spare tire” for use on the trail if a horse threw a shoe.

My partners and I thought it was a great concept and guaranteed to be the next hula hoop. Why did we feel that way? Well, the market had no such product. "Soft Shoe", as we named it, was incredibly unique. We owned the rights to distribute the shoe in the twenty-five states east of the Mississippi. The shoe wasn’t expensive to manufacture or difficult to warehouse and we already had contacts with major distributors of equestrienne equipment and large tack shops. We greedily multiplied the number of horses east of the Mississippi by four hooves and salivated! We saw ourselves as wealthy business people.

In our lust, we saw no problems with our product. We were in love with it. Rubber booties seemed a more humane way to shod a horse than with nails. We felt we had great selling points. To wit: Very few products are made of 100% pure rubber. Even your car tires are synthetic. A farrier/blacksmith invented our product. Veterinarians used our rubber horseshoe in their treatment of horses; the vets loved it. If they had to sedate a horse, our booty was ideal for the moment the horse regained consciousness and struggled to its feet. It was perfect for horses on concrete, on parade, or on show in a mall.

We were psyched. We saw dollars signs everywhere. We tested the product with the Amish and acquired their endorsement. We printed glossy brochure with a sexy, young woman on a horse. We were counting our profits before we sold any product, making plans to buy summer homes in Belize and new Hummers. In other words, we were greatly subjective.

Unfortunately, after months of trying to hustle the shoes, we found that no one wanted to buy them. We were dumbfounded. What had we done wrong? Well, for one thing we didn’t invest in any research to find out the values, attitudes, behaviors and beliefs of our potential customers. We learned the hard way that people who own horses weren’t ready to give up on thousands of years of traditional shoeing. We would have known that if we had not been so much in love with our own creation, so subjective. We wasted a lot of time and money.

What does this mean to you? More than anything it means you must understand the customer and give him/her something he/she wants/needs. It means that you must be objective, not subjective. You must learn as much as you can about the values and motivations of customers. If you don't, you, too, will end up with a "can't miss" product or service, one that you love but no one uses!

The media may change...

2009-12-13T16:44:00.000-08:00

but the fundamentals remain the same.

I recently had a chance to write about social media for the IABC "student connection"
http://www.iabc.com/student/library/feature/barr.htm

In the brief article I admitted that I grew up, personally and professionally, with the conventional media, the BIG 3 - TV, radio and print - but that I have been scrambling to learn the social media. As I learn, and fill my office with more books, I am impressed with Twitter, Facebook, blogging, cell phone apps and so forth. But, I am more than ever convinced that some basics will always apply.

Consumers still watch TV and listen to the radio. They still look at magazines, and a few read newspapers. Many have grown up with social media and many others, like me, are rushing to learn about them. But, regardless of the medium, you will sell nothing if you don’t remember to Live in the Land of the Audience. You will sell nothing unless you:

1.Understand the wants and needs of customers.
2.Serve them.
3.Satisfy them.

Talk with them, by all means, as the social media so easily allow you to do. Whatever you do, however, don’t blog to hear yourself talk. Don’t tweet that you’re parking your car. Don’t send me an e-mail for something I don’t need or want. I’m too busy ducking the thousands of other messages pushed in my face every day.

Honor me. Tell me something I don't know. Challenge me. Get my attention. Get me involved. Talk WITH me, not TO me. Actually, the best conventional media did this; they involved viewers, listeners, readers with questions such as "Where's the beef". Admittedly, much of the conventional media pushed messages into our faces. Much of the social media do the same.

If you want to communicate, especially with a marketing communication, remember, the
fundamentals remain the same. The audience rules!

More E-vidence Mail

2009-12-12T17:48:00.000-08:00

LONDON - E-mails stolen from climate scientists show they stonewalled skeptics and discussed hiding data — but the messages don't support claims that the science of global warming was faked, according to an exhaustive review by The Associated Press.

The 1,073 e-mails examined by the AP show that scientists harbored private doubts, however slight and fleeting, even as they told the world they were certain about climate change. However, the exchanges don't undercut the vast body of evidence showing the world is warming because of man-made greenhouse gas emissions.

The scientists were keenly aware of how their work would be viewed and used, and, just like politicians, went to great pains to shape their message. Sometimes, they sounded more like schoolyard taunts than scientific tenets.

The scientists were so convinced by their own science and so driven by a cause "that unless you're with them, you're against them," said Mark Frankel, director of scientific freedom, responsibility and law at the American Association for the Advancement of Science. He also reviewed the communications.

Frankel saw "no evidence of falsification or fabrication of data, although concerns could be raised about some instances of very 'generous interpretations.'"

Some e-mails expressed doubts about the quality of individual temperature records or why models and data didn't quite match. Part of this is the normal give-and-take of research, but skeptics challenged how reliable certain data was.

The e-mails were stolen from the computer network server of the climate research unit at the University of East Anglia in southeast England, an influential source of climate science, and were posted online last month. The university shut down the server and contacted the police.

The AP studied all the e-mails for context, with five reporters reading and rereading them — about 1 million words in total.

One of the most disturbing elements suggests an effort to avoid sharing scientific data with critics skeptical of global warming. It is not clear if any data was destroyed; two U.S. researchers denied it.

The e-mails show that several mainstream scientists repeatedly suggested keeping their research materials away from opponents who sought it under American and British public records law. It raises a science ethics question because free access to data is important so others can repeat experiments as part of the scientific method. The University of East Anglia is investigating the blocking of information requests.

"I believe none of us should submit to these 'requests,'" declared the university's Keith Briffa in one e-mail. The center's chief, Phil Jones, e-mailed: "Data is covered by all the agreements we sign with people, so I will be hiding behind them."

When one skeptic kept filing Freedom of Information Act requests, Jones, who didn't return AP requests for comment, told another scientist, Michael Mann: "You can delete this attachment if you want. Keep this quiet also, but this is the person who is putting FOI requests for all e-mails Keith (Briffa) and Tim (Osborn) have written."

Mann, a researcher at Penn State University, told The Associated Press: "I didn't delete any e-mails as Phil asked me to. I don't believe anybody else did."

The e-mails also show how professional attacks turned very personal. When former London financial trader Douglas J. Keenan combed through the data used in a 1990 research paper Jones had co-authored, Keenan claimed to have found evidence of fakery by Jones' co-author. Keenan threatened to have the FBI arrest University at Albany scientist Wei-Chyung Wang for fraud. (A university investigation later cleared him of any wrongdoing.)

The e-mails also showed a stunning disdain for global warming skeptics.

One scientist practically celebrates the news of the death of one critic, saying, "In an odd way this is cheering news!" Another bemoans that the only way to deal with skeptics is "continuing to publish quality work in quality journals (or calling in a Mafia hit.)" And a third scientist said the next time he sees a certain skeptic at a scientific meeting, "I'll be tempted to beat the crap out of him. Very tempted."

And they compared contrarians to communist-baiting Sen. Joseph McCarthy and Somali pirates. They also called them out-and-out frauds.

The beat goes on (or, people continue to mis-use e-mail)!

2009-12-11T11:58:00.000-08:00

(I thank my friend Chuck Reynolds for this!)

Analyst Quits Over Embarrassing Email (by Martin Evans at Telegraph.co.uk)

"A female graduate trainee at the consultants Deloitte has quit after an embarrassing email she sent discussing attractive male staff, was forwarded around the world.

"Holly Leam-Taylor became the latest victim of a viral email craze when her light hearted message to colleagues spread like wildfire across the internet.

"In the email, entitled Deloitte First year analysts Christmas Awards, sent on December 8, Ms Leam-Taylor asked her female colleagues to vote on which men in the office they considered most attractive.

"She listed nine categories including, 'boy most likely to sleep his way to the top' and 'most attractive older member of staff'.

"Miss Leam-Taylor, who is in her early 20s, wrote: 'I'll send out the results on Friday 18th Dec (that is all I will be doing that day as I will be SO hung-over from the ball!)'

"The email was only intended for a small group within her office, but was quickly forwarded outside the building and within hours was being read by millions of internet users as far away as New Zealand and Australia.

"The email began, 'So girls...it's been nearly 4 months at Deloitte so I think we should have some sort of Xmas awards ceremony for us ladies about the stuff that really matters at work ie.gossip/the boys! This probably massively violates HR equal opportunities policy, but never mind! It's all for fun and a bit of a laugh.'

"But her employers did not agree that it was a laughing matter and she was warned that she would be subject to a disciplinary hearing which could lead to her dismissal.

"A source at the firm said: 'She realised that her credibility both internally and externally had been damaged and so took the decision to hand in her resignation immediately...We are very disappointed by this matter. While intended as a joke, this is a stark reminder of the need to exercise careful judgment when using email.'"

Careful judgement goes out the window when people sit before their computers. They become DIS-inhibited. They believe they are in the lobby or at lunch talking to friends, instead of placing a message before the world. For Deloitte this must be doubly disconcerting since (a few years ago) they paid to have 50,000 people undergo e-mail training. (I wish I'd had THAT gig. In fact, I hereby recommend myself to Deloitte to re-train the 50,000! I'll give them a volume discount!)

When they give me the gig, I'll tell them this: Always write the message first! Let it sit for a moment. Look at it as if you were seeing it on the front page of the newspaper. If you don't want to see it there, delete it. If you want international notoriety, address it and hit the send button. Then, get a lawyer.

Thanks for the great article, Chuck!

Watch your e-mails!

2009-12-08T15:17:00.000-08:00

Not a day goes by that someone doesn't compromise him or herself with an e-mail message. I guess it's to be expected with the 35 TRILLION e-mails that are sent every year. But, really, why would anyone write a message that might come back to haunt him?

Take Sean Ramaley, for instance. According to today's Pittsburgh Tribune Review, "In an October 2004 e-mail, former House Democratic Whip Mike Veon chided his legislative assistant Sean Ramaley for not knocking on enough doors to win over voters, during Ramaley's race for an adjacent House district.

'Why not any doors yesterday, Sean? A very nice day. The pace on the doors seems to be slowing down. Is it going to get any better?' Veon asked in the e-mail that was displayed on a large video screen yesterday in Dauphin County Court, where Ramaley is on trial.

Ramaley responded...'After picking up some checks at a labor breakfast, I decided I needed to spend the rest of Friday preparing for Saturday's debate. I expect to be back on doors heavily this week.'

Ramaley, 34, of Baden faces six felony counts for allegedly using the part-time job in Veon's Beaver Falls district office as income while he campaigned for the House seat he subsequently won....Prosecutors claim Ramaley conspired with Veon to hold the no-work job, and that taxpayers paid for Ramaley's campaign."

Gee, I wonder if he did? "...back on the doors heavily this week." That seems to present some serious evidence. But, innocent until proven guilty, I say. He allegedly used the part time job as income, and all that.

Whether Ramaley is guilty or not guilty, he probably learned a lesson in communication. Say as little as possible and say nothing you don't want to see on the front page of the local newspaper... or in court.

Is there any wonder e-mail continues to be called "e-vidence" mail? Most of us have a bad habit of treating e-mail as an informal medium and, thereby, revealing things we later wish we hadn't revealed. It's the great leveler; everyone does it - rich and poor - and everyone suffers accordingly. In fact, look for a series of e-mails to surface that reveal a little more of Tiger Woods than he would want us to know.

As a person who has written his share of emotional messages with little to no thinking (and sent a few jokes he wishes he hadn't sent), I urge you to watch your e-mails... and your texts... and your tweets... and your posts.... You may be reading them on the front page of the local fish wrapper and wishing you had never hit the Send button!

Do you know this term?

2009-12-06T16:10:00.000-08:00

"Jugaad".

Know it? It's a Hindi term and soon everyone will be using it alongside Six Sigma, TQM, kaizan and other popular business strategies.

"Jugaad", pronounced "joogard", implies the combination of simplicity and innovation. Considering that those two terms seldom go together, "jugaad" will strike many as refreshing. Imagine, innovation AND simplicity!

What else will accompany simplicity? How about inexpensive! American companies, especially those that embrace the management flavor of the day, will go for "jugaad" in a big way. It will mean asking employees to innovate in the moment. This will especially help in customer service as companies empower (sound familiar) employees to find solutions on the go.

Customers will like it and "juggad" will fuel America's (appropriate) return to simplicity. As Da Vinci said, "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." He said that long before Einstein said, "Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler." But, both were right. Nothing looks better (or simpler) than a pretty woman in a black dress!

12 Books You May Enjoy

2009-11-26T10:22:00.000-08:00

I offer here a dozen books I've read over the past year that you may enjoy. I list them in no particular order. I have included fiction and non-fiction, business books and books about books. I promise that each is well written and interesting.

1.) War Dance by Sherman Alexie. Alexie writes mainly from a Native American point of view and this collection of stories continues that theme. Regardless, he writes with passion and precision and makes us see the "Indian experience" from a whole new perspective. If you have no interest in Indians, you will nonetheless enjoy the flow of this great writing from a man who has won major writing awards, even for a children's book.

2.) The Man Who Loved Books Too Much by Bartlett. If you love books, you will love this story of rare booksellers trying to catch a thief who specializes in rare books. They get him, he gets away, he never stops because of his obsession for books as he and his pursuers share much in common.

3.) Hunting Eichmann by Bascomb. Adolph Eichmann, Nazi war criminal and functionary responsible for "managing" the deaths of millions of Jews during the Second World War, eluded authorities for years, living in South America. Almost by accident his location is revealed and as we read along with this terrific story we wonder if he will be caught, even as we know he was!

4.) Sway by Branfman. Ever wonder how we influence each other? This book reveals how pilots, and many others, have learned to question authority so that they diminish errors based on appeals to authority. Anyone in sales or marketing should read this small, but, well written, book.

5.) Yes! 50 Scientifically proven ways to be persuasive by Goldstein, Martin and Cialdini. Anyone who sees the name Cialdini knows he or she is in for a useful and enjoyable reading experience. Robert Cialdini is, of course, the guru of influence and persuasion. As a co-author of this small book, he influences the fine writing and storytelling to deliver much useful information on persuasion. If you are in business, read this little book.

6.) Columbine by Cullen. Most Americans remember the tragedy of Columbine High School. Cullen, a Denver reporter, was there through the whole tragedy. In his book with the skill of a mystery writer, he takes us through the lives of the victims and perpetrators as we watch the whole ugly thing unfold.

7.) Zeitoun by Eggers. Dave Eggers is a well known and accomplished writer, editor and cultural phenomenon. In this fascinating book he follows the tribulations of a Muslim man, an immigrant to America who builds a business in New Orleans only to see it threatened by Hurricane Katrina. Zeitoun decides to stay in New Orleans, even after everyone is ordered out of the city. He is then arrested and the story becomes more intense and ultimately uplifting.

8.) Book of Genesis by R. Crumb. Need I say more? Whatever Crumb writes/draws demands attention. When the subject matter involves the first book of the Christian Bible, we must sit up and take notice. Crumb doesn't disappoint us as he draws a surprisingly sensitive rendering of the Christian notion of the world's origins.

9.) Buy-ology by Lindstrom. This researcher takes us inside the human mind to show why we buy things and why we may be at risk to the companies who also know why we buy things.

10.) Let the Great World Spin by McCann. This just won the National Book Award which tells you it's not too shabby. If deals with the aftermath of 911 and is a pleasure to read. It proves itself worthy of this country's big writing award.

11.) Tears in the Darkness by Norman. WWII had its share of atrocities and agonies but probably none greater than the Bataan Death March. Norman shows the horrors of that tragedy by following an American from the Mid-West as he is imprisoned and forced to be a slave laborer as thousands die around him.

12.) The Tyranny of E-Mail by Freeman. This delightful book traces the development of e-mail and our addiction to it. The book begins with the telegraph and brings us to our great dependence on electronic communication, the tool that some call indispensable while others call "e-vil mail"!

Wanna Read a Great Book?

2009-11-25T14:23:00.000-08:00

Get yourself a copy of "The Chaos Scenario - Amid the Ruins of Mass Media, the Choice for Business is Stark: Listen or Perish" by Bob Garfield.

I know the title sounds HEAVY and it does discuss some very serious topics, but this book is a joy to read. Garfield, who writes for Ad Age as an editor-at-large and co-hosts NPR's "On the Media", writes with simplicity and humor that border on brilliance. The book is really fun to read.

Garfield says early in the book that he considered naming it "Listenomics" but that the titles "Wikinomics" and Freakonomics" made him re-consider. In any event, he proves in 300 pages that the "Digital Revolution" is really a revolution. And, he didn't need to persuade me. I have watched over the last few years as everything I knew about PR, for instance, changed. Garfield discusses and proves this paradigm wittily.

He calls his first chapter "The Death of Everything"! In it he shows how traditional media are slowly fading with fewer audiences, fewer revenues and many more competitors. This reflects Garfield's theme of nothing less than "...the re-ordering of media, marketing and commerce triggered by the revolution in digital technology."

Now, I guess most of us knew this was happening, right? But, Garfield quotes many who should know better who have their heads up their $%#s who don't seem to think there's any urgency to the problem. In proving his points in the book Garfield visits You Tube, Lego, Barack Obama, the Dallas Morning News, Rupert Murdoch, Jesus, Satan, Vista and a hundred other media, moguls and movers-and-shakers to prove his points, all of them entertainingly.

To TV executives, Garfield days, "So long boob tube, hello You Tube" and he does everything but call CBS CEO Les Moonves an incompetent. In proving our need to change things and listen better, Garfield cites Jim Stengel, retired CMO of P&G, who, in discussing where to spend P&G's $6 billion marketing budget, said, "The old model is broken."

In another chapter, "The Post-Advertising Age", that will surely capture the attention of his employer, Garfield quotes Randall Rothenberg, CEO of the Internet Advertising Bureau, who says, "Today the average 14-year old can create a global television network with applications that are built into her laptop." And, so it is. Have you ever watched "Fred" on You Tube? If not, check it out!

Proctor & Gamble serves Garfield well and often in the book. He quotes P&G CEO A. G. Lafley who said, "We need to reinvent the way we market to consumers." (A. G., hear me; give up using "market" as a verb). To make the point, Garfield tells the story of Six Flags who wanted to celebrate its 45th anniversary by giving away 45,000tickets to the place. They told their agency, OgilvyInteractive North America, to do whatever needed to be done. (Agencies love to hear that.) But, someone in interactive put the tickets on "Craigslist" and they disappeared in five hours. Ogilvy took little solace (and less commission) on that.

As in the Six Flags example, agencies aren't sure what exactly to do. Media are going out of business, agencies are going out of business or trying to figure out how to be of any service to anyone, and we, the Great Unwashed, are being put in charge! And, to top it off YouTube, Facebook and the rest have no revenue models. Interesting times we live in! A real Chaos Scenario!

But, whatever Garfield discusses, he does it with humor and a voice all his own. For instance in talking about viral messages and SEO, Garfield tells us about the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty "Unilever and Ogilvy had waged the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty, with website, ads (online and off), Dove Self-Esteem Fund and an ongoing education campaign aimed mainly at girls, to inculcate them with a sense of confidence and worth. They weren't lectured that beauty is only skin deep, and that what really counts is our inner selves; children aren't that stupid, and they know that how we all look matters in ways large and small. But, they were told, and presented with many lovely examples, of physical beauty that doesn't conform to the freakish standards of Hollywood and the fashion industry. From the beginning it was a fascinating exercise.

"From one perspective, all involved were vulnerable to massive eye rolling on basic hypocrisy grounds; Unilever also makes Slim Fast, which encourages yo yo dieting. And it sells Axe and Lynx, body sprays advertised to young males as surefire means to get in the pants of steamin' hot babes, who, of course, look like human Barbie Dolls. As for Ogilvy, in a bit of horrifying/delicious irony, it is the ad agency for actual Barbie Dolls."

The book is full of such funny and meaningful examples with Garfield romping through anybody's garden, trampling on our rosebuds and tearing the blinders from all of us who think the King still has clothes on. He does it with wit, sarcasm, and none-to-subtle stabbing at the most sacred of our cows. If you want to learn and prepare for the current chaos, read Bob Garfield's "The Chaos Scenario". You will have one helluva good time doing it.

Did you ever watch yourself?

2009-11-25T13:40:00.000-08:00

I was recently invited to teach a lesson in communication at a Heinz College course for future consultants. I was invited by the associate dean of the Heinz College School of Information Systems Management, Andy Wasser. When I went to the classroom, I saw that Andy was wearing a microphone, which he transferred to me after he introduced me. Then, of course, I saw the video camera in the corner of the room.

I lectured for about 30 minutes, aware that the camera was following my every move while animating myself as much as possible. If I were going to be taped, I thought, I wanted to make a good impression.

It wasn't the first time I had ever been taped. As a long time PR guy, I had seen my share of TV interviews, mostly for a minute or two. I had seen my name in newspaper quotes and heard myself on brief radio snippets. And, I have taught for five years on the Internet, knowing that the sessions were being recorded. But, this was the first time I had ever been videotaped at length, and taped doing the thing I thought I was good at, teaching.

When Andy sent me the link to the taping, I watched it, cringing at every mistake. At times, I actually felt as if I were watching someone else. It's spooky! "Who's that old guy?" I wondered. "He needs to learn to face the camera and not turn to reveal his bald spot." For all the enthusiasm and energy I thought I had, I didn't see enough. It awakened me!

I suppose I should have done this long before. My colleague at Heinz College, Chris Labash, tapes his students in his Professional Speaking classes all the time. And, he provides them one extremely valuable service; he tapes them in a mock job interview. I strongly suggest to anyone looking for a job to be taped in a mock interview. You will see yourself as others see you and you may be surprised. In fact, you may be aghast!

If you're not looking for a job but have a public position as a salesperson or customer service representative, or any other role that puts you routinely in front of others, you need to do this. You will see yourself as your customers and colleagues and others see you. And, you may not recognize that person!

I wasn't aghast, but I wasn't thrilled, either. Even so, I asked my colleague, Bob Taylor who handles Internet stuff at Heinz College, to put the link to the video on my website for my friends and family to watch. I also put a link to an interview I did for the Voice of America (the TV version of VOA). I have to say that I felt better about that performance. It was subsequently translated into Urdu and gave me a good laugh watching my lips move while someone else spoke in a language very foreign to me (the link on my website is in English).

So, I invite you to watch me at http://www.heinz.cmu.edu/edbarr/television.html and I STRONGLY encourage you to get yourself taped. Call Chris Labash; he does this kind of work as a consultant. He'll help you improve your presentation. And, you'll get a look at yourself that will be both interesting and enlightening!

Pittsburgh City Planning Strikes Again!

2009-11-25T06:31:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, the Department of City Planning in Pittsburgh managed to frighten many homeowners with a badly written letter about a new zoning initiative called "Map Pittsburgh." The letter used lots of jargon, passive voice, long words and sentences and a demeaning tone. Homeowners who tried to read the letter, like my (then)86-year old mother-in-law, thought they were breaking the law. Many of these people complained to the City and the letter had to be re-written and re-sent (your tax dollars at work).

That letter served me very well in my role as writing teacher to public policy and public management graduate students at the Heinz College of Carnegie Mellon University. I have used the Map Pittsburgh letter in my classes for years as an example of how not to write. I'd share it with you here, but I have another, a 2009 version of equally awful, bureaucratic writing. This one arrived, again, at my mother-in-law's house, and she had no idea what it meant. I offer it here for your enjoyment:

"Dear resident:
A bill has been introduced in City Council and referred to the Planning Commission for a report and recommendation. The bill proposes a text amendment to the Zoning Code that revises sections in the Code governing uses permitted in the UI, Urban Industrial District; GI, General Industrial District; and EMI, Educational/Medical Institution District. The proposed amendment would require that a number of uses in those districts be permitted as conditional uses. A copy of the proposed text amendment may be reviewed at the Zoning Office on the 3rd floor of 200 Ross St., Monday through Friday, 8:00 a.m. until 3:00 p.m.

The Planning Commission will hold a public hearing on the proposed text amendments on: Tuesday, December 8, 2009 @ 2:00 p.m. John P. Robin Civic Building, 1st Floor 200Ross Street, Pittsburgh, PA.

Testimony presented by individuals will be limited to 3 minutes each. Testimony presented by a spokesperson representing an organization will be limited to 5 minutes each, and the spokesperson shall provide a “Letter of Authorization” from the appropriate officers. Prepared comments may be presented in lieu of testimony, and testimony should not be read from a prepared statement but may be summarized as testimony with the prepared statement handed to the Commission for their review."

Is that a beauty of bureaucracy and befuddlement, or what!? Can any of you tell me what that first paragraph says or what it asks a (now) 94-year old widow with an 8th grade education to do? I read it a few times and had little understanding. Because I know the area, however, I had a clue. It involved the following language: "uses permitted in...Medical/Educational". I had a sense that Allegheny General Hospital had something to do with this zoning business since my mother-in-law lives half a block away from AGH.

But, really! Is this the way to communicate with people? Does this sound like "newspeak" from the Ministry of Truth in Orwell's Oceania? If nothing else, it borders on the kind of messages sent to the Proles by Big Brother in the novel "1984." That language was meant to conceal, not reveal. It depended on passive constructions where the doer of action is anonymous and buzz words are empty of meaning.

I copied the language of the city's recent letter into a Word document and then did a readability scan of it. My computer, using the Flesch-Kincaid Readability Index told me that the writing is 50% passive with 26.1 words per sentence (15 is recommended), a grade level of 14 and reading ease of 31.3 (100 is best). Many newspapers recommend a grade level of 8-11 because, despite gains in literacy, people do not read well. In fact the New York Times published an article recently stating that "Literacy Falls for Graduates from College."

A letter such as the city's, if it is to be mass mailed to blocks of residents, must aim for the 8-11 grade level readers. Hell, I have a Masters degree in English and I have little idea what the letter says. Whatever the reading levels, our democracy depends on the free flow of information between government and its constituents. We must know what our public servants are doing and we must easily understand what they are telling us. Of course, this isn't possible in the anonymous letter above sent by the Department of City Planning to "Bloc & Lot: 23-H-151 Welty Dorothy F."

The recent letter was not signed (even Patrick Ford, despite his failures, signed the earlier letter). I don't blame the City of Pittsburgh Department of City Planning writer (likely a lawyer) for being anonymous in this year's version. I wouldn't want anyone to know that I had written it either.

Shame on the New York Times!

2009-11-14T12:08:00.000-08:00

An article in the New York Times today announces, "How To Market Your Business with Facebook ". Check it out at this link: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/12/business/smallbusiness/12guide.html?emc=eta1

The writer tells us how to use Facebook to interact with our customers and in one place says, "It's not about selling." That's right! It's not about selling. But, it will always be about selling until we learn to use the "M" word correctly.

"Market" is not a verb (or infinitive). As long as we treat it as such, we will make all of the errors associated with product and service failure. When we discuss "How to market our businesses", we link back to the old days of creating products and services and waiting for customers to fall in love with them. Or, we morph back to the days when we threw dollar after dollar at the promotion of our beloved products and services only to find that no one else loved them. Then we threw up our hands and said we didn't "market" them enough!

David Ogilvy said, "Marketing is objectivity." We need to think about how someone might use our products or services not how beautiful we think they are. Philip Kotler said, "Marketing begins long before there's ever a product or service." We need to have a bias for research. Peter Drucker said, "A business only has one purpose: to create a customer." As long as businesses live by the mistaken notion that "If we build it they will come", we will have product and service failures. As Kotler said, "Marketing senses, serves, and satisfies the wants and needs of customers." As such, it must start with the sensing part.

As long as businesses say, "We need to market this more" we will have wasted promotional dollars. We will be selling. And, no amount of selling can move a product that no one wanted or needed in the first place.

Writers, like the one who wrote the aforementioned Times headline, are well advised to substitute, "How to understand your customer better with Facebook." That's what the article suggests anyway. That is, listen to your customers on Facebook, enter a dialogue with them, ask them about their wants and needs. Then, create a product or service to satisfy those wants and needs.

I know. It borders on a pet peeve. But, our actions follow our words. Our words reflect our values. And, many marketing sins are committed because creative types are busy using their favorite colors, typefaces and poetic language so as to win awards while not focusing on the customer. Too many workers are too busy gazing at their navels and delivering no, or poor, customer service. When things start to go bad, they turn to their old language and say, "We needed to market this better", as if more promotion will answer anyone's needs. Geez, even Don Draper understood the notion. On a Season One episode of Mad Men he exhorted a copy writer to "focus on benefits, not features."

So, all of you marketers out there, when you catch yourself using "market" as a verb, send me a dollar. We'll put the money in a safe place and give it to a worthy cause at the end of the year, "The Old Marketers Retirement and Travel Fund." Believe me, the dollars will add up quickly and we'll all be able to vacation in Rome!

How did Abe do?

2009-11-10T18:07:00.000-08:00

We took the boys and my sister Dianne to Gettysburg a few weeks ago (or should I say, she took us). Anyway, the battlefield, the new cyclorama and the new museum impressed us.

If you visit the museum, you will see displays that include General Robert E. Lee's gloves and buttons and many other very interesting artifacts. As you leave the museum, you come to a room with a wall-sized photo of Abe Lincoln and his famous Gettysburg Address. (I took a photo of my son Alex in front of Abe and posted it on Facebook if you want to see Abe in scale).

As you sit in this small room, you will hear a recorded version of the Address by a famous actor. It's very impressive and moving. I highly encourage everyone to visit the new museum (especially on a weekday in the Spring when school's in session an it's warm).

In any event, the visit started me to thinking again about the speech, famous for its directness and simplicity (especially as compared to the other speeches delivered that day). And, I've been talking to my classes about readability and the use of the readability tool on their (and your) computers.

If you go to spellcheck and click on "options", your computer will give you a list that includes the readability tool. I encourage you to do that. It provides you with a measure of the readability of any document. It measures readability according to the number of words, the number of sentences, the amount of passive voice, the length of words and sentences. It does this with the (correct) assumption that short words, sentences and paragraphs are easier to read.

So, I copied the famous Gettysburg Address into Word and checked the readability. Here's what I found: It has 271 words; those words use 1196 characters; it has only three paragraphs and 10 sentences for 3.3 sentences per paragraph. The speech has 27words per sentence and the words average 4.2 characters. It has 20% passive constructions and has a reading ease of 65 (100 is best). Finally my computer tells me that the grade level required to understand the speech is 10.9. All of this is according to a system devised by Flesch and Kincaid.

What's to be said, then, about the readability of the document that is acclaimed as a masterpiece of directness and simplicity? Well, it is brief and it expresses profound thoughts in a direct way. It uses mostly short words and keeps the passive voice to a minimum. But is has some shortcomings.

I couldn't find literacy or grade level statistics for 1865, but I'm inclined to think they were lower than they are today. In fact, literacy is at 99% in America but the New York Times recently said literacy for college graduates in the US is falling! So, how many Americans in 1865 understood a speech delivered at an 11th grade level? I am most bothered by the 27 word sentences. The Kansas City Star did a study that said readers' comprehension falls when sentences are over 15 words.

Ultimately I like the speech (except for the "Four score" part) but I have a masters degree and can figure out Abe's sentiments. And, I'm not saying it is a bad speech (and, it was meant to be heard, not read). But, I'm also not surprised that the speech generated so little attention at the crowded cemetery that day. Abe was an intelligent, self-educated guy. He wrote mostly very direct messages, messages aimed at his intellectual equals, those most likely to be decision makers or those most likely to be concerned with those decisions. He wrote a poetic and moving passage that day at Gettysburg but few of the poorly educated in the audience knew it.

Interviewing for a job?

2009-11-09T10:47:00.000-08:00

Or, do you know anyone who is interviewing? If so, you might want to send them my FREE book, "Ask the right questions; Get the right job." I wrote the book, got myself a New York agent and a publisher. But, the agent and the publisher wanted 20,000 more words (bigger book, bigger price tag). I didn't have that much more to say, so I'm giving the book away. I posted it on my website as a pdf under "books" at this link: www.heinz.cmu.edu/edbarr. Go there! Read the book. Give it to your friends who are interviewing. The book will show them how to make a conversation out of an interview. That will help them have a meaningful and successful interview!

Don't you just love words!

2009-11-05T05:07:00.000-08:00

Did any of you get a flu shot? A vaccine? Did you get the swine flu vaccine? If so, you might be interested to know that you received, in a manner of speaking, a cow shot! How so, you ask?

The word vaccine comes from the Latin word "vacca" meaning, you guessed it, cow! Long ago, like three hundred years ago, a Dr. Jenner noticed that milkmaids were immune from small pox but getting cowpox, so, for some strange reason, he used the pus (yuck) from a milkmaid's cowpox blister to inject into a child who became immune to small pox. He called his creation a "vaccine virus". And, there you have another reason to thank a cow the next time you see one!

You can find this word information and other word curiosities on line at www.etymonline.com or www.wordorigins.com or www.wordspy.com. If you poke around a little, you'll find that "seminary" comes from the Latin root "semen", yep, that semen! Men constitute the "seed" that is planted to form a priest. (Notice that I used the word "form." Rectors resist the word "train" since men are "called" to become priests!)

If you look around the Internet sites some more, you'll see that the word "varsity" actually comes from the abbreviated form of "university", that is, "'versity" (with an apostrophe) and over the years 'versity came to be varsity.

"Assassin" has an interesting background (or etymology). It seems an Arab bandit, Hasan Sabah, and his followers liked to kill public officials, including priests! Before the killers left to perform their dastardly deeds, these men often smoked hashish to get their minds in an appropriate killing place. They became known as "hashishiyun", the men who smoked, ate or otherwise ingested large amounts of hash. We know these men as assassins.

I like to remind my friends from India that much of our language can be traced to their country. Linguists call the original language "Proto-Indo European". For example, we can understand words like "juggernaut" if we understand India. In this wonderful and exotic country, many Hindus celebrate the feats of Jagannath", the Lord of the World, aka Krishna and Vishnu. In any event, during their festival, some of the believers place a huge statue of Jagannath on a movable cart and parade it through the town. Occasionally, the very devout threw themselves under the cart in self-sacrifice (no doubt the ones who had ingested a little hash). The cart didn't stop and the unstoppable force came to be known in the West as a juggernaut!

Not all words have such negative origins. If you look up the etymology of the word "enthusiasm", you will fall in love with this term that comes from the Greek and means "with God". It comes from the prefix "en" (with) and "theos" (God). And so, we rightly call the enthusiastic people we know the ones those who are with God!

I find all of this fascinating and revealing. A better understanding of the history of words helps us understand better what we are saying. It gives us a deeper understanding and richer. Don't you just love words!

What were they thinking?

2009-11-03T16:41:00.000-08:00

The Colorado Restaurant Association recently announced a promotion to encourage more people to eat out. What slogan are they using? "Fork the recession." Do you find that clever. Is that likely to make you want to run out there and spend some money at a Colorado restaurant? Do you find the slogan witty? Maybe, maybe not.

Maybe you'll be looking for a place to take the kids. How about Burger King? The hamburger also-ran is pushing a promotion featuring that lovable spineless character, Sponge Bob Squarepants. In his TV spot Sponge Bob dances while a re-mix of Sir Mixalot's "Baby's Got Back" plays. The message, of course, says that Sponge Bob has the ultimate back; I'll accept that. But, really....

Maybe you'd rather stay home and eat cereal. If so, and you're a man, you might be moved by the Post cereal Grape Nuts campaign, featuring the witless slogan, "That takes Grape Nuts." The slogan identifies arduous male tasks and implies, well, you know, something about the male anatomy. When I told my classes about this campaign, one of the young men said, "I'd rather have Big Boulders" than grape nuts.

Maybe we should contact Ralcorp, owners of Kraft Foods, and volunteer to create promotions for them. They're putting over $100 million into the campaign to try to dent the almost $9 billion cereal market, and they may not be reaching their target audience.

Doesn't it make you wonder at the power of words. Doesn't it make you wonder at the foolishness of people, ad writers, creative types and their business colleagues. Doesn't it make you wonder what they were thinking?

What did she say?

2009-10-29T16:18:00.000-07:00

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was interviewed recently on CNBC. The exchange went like this:

Reporter: "But, on the tax issue, allowing the Bush tax cuts to expire would essentially be a tax increase."

Pelosi: "It isn't a tax increase; it is, it is a..a..ah..eliminating a tax decrease that was there."

(You can watch the exchange at this site: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CiyjhP-bXM)

So, it isn't a tax increase, it is "eliminating a tax decrease that was there"!

Can language confuse and conceal, or what? Are politicians expert at double talk?

Language that uses negatives can work wonders at concealment. Perhaps if we ask Nancy about inflation she will say, "It is not possible to reduce inflationary pressures when the federal government does not reduce its spending." Got that?

Perhaps if asked about government spending she will add, "So long as taxpayers do not refuse to pay their taxes, the government will have no difficulty in paying its debts."

Maybe if she's pressed on a policy issue she will declare, "The lack of disconfirming evidence suggests that the results are not open to dispute, unless the absence of data from other investigations is taken as a negative factor."

These beautifully confusing gems were collected by Joseph Williams, professor emeritus at Chicago University and author of a book that changed my thinking about writing, "Style." This dense little book will help anyone become a better writer who can stay with it.

Some of the sentences come from the wonderful world of academia where communication is meant to impress, not express. If you remember your college days, you'll remember a sentence like this one, "Scientists have not agreed on the question of whether the universe is open or closed, a dispute that will not be resolved until the total mass of the universe has been computed with an error of no more than 5%."

Or, this one, "Sufficient research has not been directed to the problems of individuals who cannot see when there are not normal levels of light."

These sentences all suffer from too many negatives. And, I doubt if their authors consciously knew how to craft them. They likely have an innate sense of how to obfuscate, like Nancy.

So, don't be surprised if in the near future you watch Nancy Pelosi say something like this on You Tube, "Elections in which there is no attempt at dealing with those issues which do not receive adequate attention during the time when no election campaigns are underway cannot serve the functions for which they were intended."

How do you respond?

2009-10-24T13:22:00.000-07:00

I spoke with a former student last week on Craig Street in Oakland. He looked great, black suit and white shirt, opened at the collar. He sounded great, too, with his charming, South of the Border accent. A very charming and soft-spoken guy, he said he had come from a job interview.

As we chatted, he told me the interviewer had been "hostile." Then he asked me what to do when an interviewer is hostile. I had to think a little about that one!

I have never been interviewed by a hostile person. And, I suppose one's definition of "hostile" differs from another's. For instance, I had an interview once where the interviewer was called out of the room to be told that he had just been named a vice president of the firm. Everyone gathered around him just at the edge of my view, hugging, back-slapping and congratulating him. He lost track of me for 20 minutes as he drank wine and celebrated with his colleagues, returning and thanking me, telling me that our time had expired and that he had another candidate to interview. I considered that hostile. (BTW, I didn't get the job and likely would not have taken it anyway.)

But, my student friend meant verbal hostility, purposefully intimidating, challenging, rude, and aggressive. The interviewer asked my friend some ugly questions and, of course, my friend was perplexed. Among other things, the interviewer pressed my friend over his commitment, asking, "Are you willing to work ten hours a day, staying late, and working over 60 hours a week, including weekends?" My friend repeated the words in the nasty way the interviewer had.

I suggested that my friend answer any hostile question with another (non-hostile)question. "Why do employees need to work 60 hours? How is this compensated? How are employees evaluated?"

To my way of thinking, those are legitimate questions and should be part of a series of questions candidates must ask anyway. (I may have said in a previous post that I wrote a book, "Ask the right questions; Get the right job," which I intend to give away on my website soon - www.heinz.cum.edu/edbarr.) When you ask questions, you create a conversation, you appear engaging and interested, and you assume a posture that says, "I'm interviewing you, too." For my money, anyone looking for a job needs to vet the company that he is visiting, as much as they are vetting you.

Anyway, I know many of you have had many interviews. And, I know that some of you (are you listening, Nancy) are professionals when it comes to head hunting and interviewing. So, please take a moment and weigh in on this. Help me give the right advice to my friend. How should he respond to a hostile interviewer?

Welcome to the New Frontier.

2009-10-19T05:51:00.000-07:00

What is the New Frontier? "Intercultural Communication." Why? Think about it. Advances in technology, advances in telecommunication, migration of populations (diaspora), off-shore and on-shore work relationships, self-directed and culturally-mixed work teams, and flattened organizations have brought a new workplace...and a need to communicate better. That has created a New Frontier.

I don't know about you but over the last few week I tried to communicate with rooms full of Chinese, Koreans, Indians, Pakistanis, Malaysians, Taiwanese, a couple of Russians, a handful of Japanese and some Turks - with an American or two thrown into the mix. In the process I understood what Edward T. Hall said: "Culture hides more than it reveals, and strangely enough what it hides, it hides most effectively from its own participants."

In my classrooms all of us politely interacted on a surface level, human being to human being, while our thoughts, emotions, actions and feelings were being influenced by the cultures we had grown up in. And, those influences were mostly invisible.

How will we ever communicate if we don't know each other more deeply, more visibly? We won't. We first must understand as much about the "other" as we can. But, we Americans typically don't do this. We expect everyone from India to get excited about Christmas and Easter and Hanukkah, but we know little, if anything, about Diwali, unless we have befriended an Indian or have been fortunate enough to have traveled to the subcontinent (a wake-up call and wonderful experience, believe me).

The New Frontier will require that we learn many details about the "other." It will take effort and desire. For years we've been bumping up against the differences between "Individualistic" and "Collectivistic" cultures. Even if we're not thinking about it, many of us are daily confronting our American "Idiocentrism" and weighing it against the many people who live an "Allocentric" life. We will need to learn about "High Context" and "Low Context" cultures, examine our values and the values of others, paying particular attention to the ways we define our selves, the ways we value (or de-value) age, family, human nature, activity, and power.

As I said in the first paragraph, technology, telecommunication and diaspora, along with globalization, are dumping us in the same boat. If we are to row in one direction, we will need to communicate well. We won't do that unless we understand each other's cultures better. If you want to know how Muslims think, learn about Muhammad; read the Qur'an. If you want to know what motivates Afghans, study the history and culture of Afghanistan. Don't like the Taliban? What do you know about them? Does Pakistan frightened you? Intercultural communication - it's the New Frontier.

Pass it on!

2009-10-18T15:31:00.001-07:00

Ordinarily I don't write about politics. But, my good friend, Sofyan Yusufi, a former student from Pakistan and bright young father who works in DC for Deloitte, asked me to.

Sofyan pointed me in the direction of a Washington Post article written by Dr. Nasim Ashraf, executive director of the Center for Pakistan Studies, Middle East Institute, and former minister in the Musharraf administration in Pakistan. You can access the article here:

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/oct/11/all-is-not-yet-lost/

Essentially in his article Dr. Ashraf says:

1. The U.S. must adopt a clear strategy in Afghanistan.
2. The U.S. military can not remain engaged in Afghanistan perpetually.
3. A stable Afghanistan means a stable Pakistan.
4. Regional Muslim countries must contribute to the peacekeeping efforts.
5. Ethnic groups within Afghanistan must 'own up to the fight' and be part of the government's local security infrastructure.

I don't know the intricacies of the argument but find Dr. Ashraf's points incontestable. We must have a clear strategy or risk a Russian experience (or a Viet Nam one) in Afghanistan. We can't stay in the country forever. We don't have the means, the will, or the defined purpose. We need to help neighboring Pakistan, a country struggling to a democratic way of life (imagine our problems in Pennsylvania if trouble was brewing in neighboring Ohio). We will never have peace without a deep understanding of (and, therefore, ability to communicate with) Muslims, the only group who can truly help us understand the problems in that part of the world. And, Afghanistan, and its microcultures, must want to solve these problems.

Dr Asraf knows the Middle East. He knows the US. He knows how the two can collaborate to begin to resolve the issues facing Afghanistan and Pakistan. We need to listen to him. Pass it on!

Check out my new website!

2009-10-05T16:04:00.000-07:00

I gave myself a birthday present this weekend, a new website!

www.heinz.cmu.edu/edbarr

Of course, I had the help of two very able people, Ellen Park, a former student and designer who recently returned to her home in South Korea, and Bob Taylor, a talented young man who works at Heinz College. The photos were taken by Ken Andreyo, a CMU photographer, and Andy Wasser of CMU made that possible.

So, what will I do with my new website? I was hoping you could tell me! I will be doing one thing for sure - placing some of my writing on the site. I have written several novels, a memoir, a book of short stories, and at least two books about job hunting and using marketing techniques to find a job.

I will be giving my books away! They been sitting in Word documents for too long and I'm not interested in fame or fortune. I hope that I can entertain someone or help another person become more successful at finding a job. And, hey, now I can say I'm published. I'll use that for my next CMU faculty re-appointment proposal.

In any event, this website and this blog and my Facebook and LinkedIn accounts have taught me a great lesson over the last few years. I have learned that everything I knew about marketing promotion could change right underneath my feet. Nearly all the techniques I learned in the practice of marketing and PR over a 25 year career have given way to this new form, empowered by this machine I now type on. I certainly can't say that I have mastered it...yet. But, it has challenged me at very turn and I have enjoyed the challenge and been thankful for it.

Imagine a work life where everything stays the same! I can't. I didn't imagine this computer driven life and have certainly been slower than most to adopt it but here I am; I have my own website! I hope you like it and connect your friends to it, if only to read the free books to be published thereon. And, I will appreciate any suggestions you have to improve the site! Thank you!

Try Writing Chinese!

2009-09-28T06:27:00.000-07:00

The next time you struggle to write something, think about our friends from Asia who are trying to write in this perplexing English language of ours.

Of all of my students, my Asian students, as a group, have the worst time with English writing. And, how would they not? For instance, according to “Language Construction and Grammar Differences between English and Chinese” by Larry Romanoff:

-The Chinese language has no articles.

-The word 'no' does not exist in Chinese.

-Chinese has no singular and plural. Since there are no singular and plural, subject-verb agreement doesn't exist.

-Chinese does not distinguish between countable and non-countable nouns; one money, one homework, one child.

-Chinese has no gender forms, other than words for 'he, she, it' - which have the same pronunciation. In Chinese 'I' and 'me' are the same, as are 'he' and 'him', 'she' and 'her'.

-Chinese verbs do not express time, but simply action, so Chinese has no verb tenses. Chinese verbs are one word and express a simple action. This is not a small thing. In English, the verbs carry so much of the meaning that we could often toss the rest of the sentence without loss. 'I would have had to have gone to Beijing had I wanted to do what you have suggested.' is a complete sentence in English constructed (almost) entirely with verbs; to the Chinese, it's jibberish.

-Our need for the verb 'to be' is a non-existent concept - 'I am going'; Chinese says, 'I go', or ‘I will happy’, or ‘We will always together’.

-Chinese does not have hundreds of words that function as different parts of speech with minor variations in spelling, like 'hesitate, hesitant, hesitation ...'. 'Don't be hesitated ...' makes perfect sense in Chinese.

-Chinese has no negative questions. Never say to a Chinese friend 'You aren't going to the party, are you?' If he’s not going, he will answer, “Yes”.

Imagine trying to understand and write a language where articles are as important (and as confusing to use) as they are in English if your language has no use for them. Imagine writing in a language that that has verb tenses, if your language doesn't use them!

All of this makes Chinese a much simpler language than ours and underscores the complexities of English. However, it doesn't make the adaptation any easier for the my Asian students. Therefore, every time I sit to grade a paper of one of my Chinese students (or Japanese, or Korean, or other Asian), I think of how I might fare if I were sitting in a classroom in Beijing trying to communicate in Mandarin (or sitting in Mumbai, or Seoul, or even Milan trying to communicate). For any critic of the Asians and their attempts to communicate, I say, "Try writing Chinese!"

Watch what you say!

2009-09-23T14:55:00.000-07:00

In my writing classes I engage my students in discussions about the inherent discrimination in the English language. You certainly know that we discriminate against people of color with our terms: "blackball", "blackguard", "blackmail and "blacklist" (among many others). This, of course, is opposed to a "white lie" and a "white knight" and so on. Perhaps at lunches today you ordered (the good and white) "Angels Food Cake" instead of (the bad and black) "Devil's Food Cake"! Hey, we're afraid of the dark so why not be afraid of dark skinned-people?

You may also know that we are prejudiced against left-handers: "sinister" meaning "left-handed" in Latin and "adroit" meaning "right" in French. (I always told mom that my left-handed sister Dianne was sinister!) We say someone is "in the right" but others are "out in left field."

Then we have "bachelor" and "spinster" (with its nasty connotation) and "master" and "mistress' serving to prejudice our feelings about gender. Only in 1979 did we stop naming hurricanes after women. And, then there's historical sexist language, as in: "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," according to Neal Armstrong upon stepping on the moon.

When we "gyp" someone, of course, we are expressing a prejudice against Gypsies (and probably never even met one)! And it goes on and on, in the most subtle forms.

The bottom line is: we will never be free of prejudice until we stop using language that inherently contains prejudices of which we are unaware! I teach this to a few hundred students every year. But, the message needs to go to a larger audience, not as some PC fad but as a necessary change in the way we use words. Agree?

Avoid acronyms!

2009-09-16T10:28:00.000-07:00

This week the president of Carnegie Mellon University sent a most incredible e-mail. The subject line read: "Message from the President Regarding New Board on Administration, Regulation and Finance (BARF)". Seriously!

In the text of the BARF message President Cohon said: "Please see the announcement below about a new committee that I have created to provide advice and guidance on the regulatory burden we are facing. I consider this to be a significant undertaking and of great importance to the future of Carnegie Mellon."

President Cohon then listed the names of at least 20 BARF people to serve on the BARF Committee, most of them senior staff members (BARFers) at CMU (the pure number of people creating a problem of its own).

Did the president not realize the meanings of his acronym, "BARF"? Did he choose the BARF name on purpose, thinking it would stick or that the members would feel like part of something special, a BARF group? How do the BARF members feel about being on the BARF Committee? And, what kind of BARF work will they do? Chugging contests? Did President Cohon choose the BARF acronym because he thought it fit a college (fraternity) culture? Or, was it simply a (very) dumb mistake?

Obviously the BARF acronym will create some commentary, such as this. It has already begun to spread virally around campus. But, the BARF name won't work; no one will automatically know that it means "Board on Administration, Regulation and Finance." Acronyms seldom work, despite their widespread use. Most people have no idea what FEMA means or the OMB, DOD, TARP, AFMLS, BLS, CCR, CDP, DOS, FHFA, and all the rest. (Go to this site if you want to see the hundreds of US government acronyms: http://members.cox.net/govdocs/govspeak.html)

Acronyms only work when they are created by the people who use the product or service. Customers created FedEx, not Federal Express, who acquiesced to its use after the fact. The Los Angeles Police Department was named LAPD by the people of Los Angeles, probably after the people of New York named the NYPD. And, speaking of Los Angeles, we easily call it "LA" but no one calls New York "NY". And, you don't find New York City promoting itself as "NY" or "NYC".

What can you learn from all this talk about BARF? If you feel tempted to create an acronym for your product, service or committee, resist the urge. No one will know what you're talking about. You may just end up with BARF all over the message (and the group).

Show some gratitude!

2009-09-15T16:26:00.000-07:00

Seems not everyone is thrilled with the new Gates and Hillman Centers on the Carnegie Mellon University campus, even some of the people who may work there. Randal Bryant, Dean of the School of Computer Science, was so concerned with what he termed “a litany of complaints or a lack of enthusiasm about the new facilities” that he wrote an e-mail to “scs-all” on August 24, 2009 (that means he sent an e-mail to all students, faculty and staff of computer science).

In his message Dean Bryant said, “I feel obligated, therefore, to give you a review of some basic etiquette. You know that it’s not in my nature to make statements like this. Things have to get pretty serious for me to send e-mail to scs-all on this subject.”

How serious are things? How bad is geek etiquette? Dean Bryant said, “I am getting a lot of reports from people who are dismayed (and I am asking) you to be kinder to the people who have been working like crazy to get things ready, and to the people to whom we owe these amazing buildings.”

Dean Bryant then listed his etiquette tips. They included:

•If the president of the university asks you “How do you like your new office?” don’t complain about the elevator or AC not working, or that the wrong furniture was put in your office. (Yes, some people really did that.) Don’t say something ambiguous like “It’s not too shabby.” Remember that our administration made a big stretch financing this project to the tune of $98 MILLION DOLLARS. It has involved considerable effort in fundraising, and the university took on a lot of debt that will take 30 years to pay off. We’ve also moved into what I think is the the most amazing academic building in the world. Instead of complaining to someone who really is in no position to fix an elevator, try saying 'Thank you. I really love this place.'

•When you feel inconvienced (sic) by the work that hasn’t been completed, or you can’t find something, don’t get into a tirade with Jim Skees, Guy Blelloch, or the construction people. They have literally been working around the clock to get things ready. Try saying 'Thanks for your hard work.'"

Dean Bryant said that he advised the above “because in the next several months we’ll have a lot of people passing through. People like Bill Gates, Henry Hillman, Rick Rashid, an (sic) many alumni and visitors. These people have also made a big contribution to the welfare of SCS. Expressions of gratitude on your part are important.”

The message raised a few eyebrows and a few hackles. One person from SCS told us, anonymously: “I believe in gratitude but not enforcing it. I’m not paranoid but memos like this make me so (or I’d let you quote me). I felt it was a form of censorship and as an institution of higher learning we can’t allow that. It was also condescending. Funny, many of us who received the message will not even move there."

Other students, faculty and staff we interviewed had these comments:

“I was offended.”
“It was like asking someone for a gift.”
“I was insulted. It was tactless and sarcastic.”
“I question the word choice. I felt it was appropriate but used the wrong tone.”

It is hard to read these words, “Try saying “’Thank you, I really love this place’” without the sense that you are being sarcastically scolded by your mom.

When asked about the message, Dean Bryant said: “My purpose was to stop people from being petty. We have had people working around the clock to get this building open. The workers had sent warning messages and had told us that moving could be awkward. I had no intention of abridging academic freedom. I am not a controlling person. There have to be quite a few people talking to me about the complaints for me to act. And, this is not a case of everyone in the building not liking it. But imagine walking up to Bill Gates and saying, ‘The wrong furniture was put in my office.’”

Dean Bryant said that he spent a lot of time writing the message and that it wasn’t aimed at students. He also said he has received many thank you’s (over 50) for writing the message and few complaints (2). But he admitted that it might have sounded sarcastic. In fact, he said, “If I could re-write it, I would.”

In any event, the message was widely distributed and has pointed to the weaknesses of e-mail. It carries facts well, but not emotions. It lacks context cues: facial expression, tone of voice, body language. And, more importantly, it quickly becomes a matter of public record, meant to exist for an eternity to make you very proud or very embarrassed.

So, hey, the next time you want to write an e-mail, show some restraint! Or, consider the other messages or media you could use to accomplish the same purpose.

Go to church. Build your vocabularly!

2009-09-13T18:07:00.000-07:00

My family and I attend the Pittsburgh Latin Mass at St. Boniface Church on the city's North Side. We attend for its beauty, solemnity and ritual. As a bonus, we get to increase our vocabulary.

Our mass begins with the "Asperges" when the priest literally washes us by sprinkling holy water among the congregation. From the altar, the priest then intones, "Gloria Patri, et Filio, et Spiritui Sancto." It doesn't take much to understand the language as "Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost." This simple understanding tells us that an English word like "patricide" has something to do with "father."

After another intonation and response, the priest says, "Domine sancte , Pater omnipotens, aeterne Deus...." We know he is saying, "Holy Lord, Almighty Father, everlasting God...." "Eternal" from the English and the Latin "aeterne" look nearly exact. And something "sanctified" is certainly something holy!

I'm not prostheltyzing here. You don't need to go to a Roman Catholic Church or a Latin Mass to build your vocabulary: pastors, priests, rabbis, gurus - they're all using language that informs English, whether it comes from Greek, Hebrew, Latin, Hindi, Arabic or another language. The English language has borrowed from all of them, and more! You only need to listen to hear it.

The Latin Mass, of course, is filled with such language, because English borrows so deeply from Latin. For instance, the priest confesses his sins and the altar boys say, "Misereatur tui omniopotens Deus, et dimissis peccatis tui, perducat te ad vitam aeternam." "Omnipotens" means almighty. "Misereatur" relates to mercy. And, "peccatis" has to do with sin, as in an English "peccadillo" (think Bill Clinton). After we all have confessed our sins, the priest says, "Indulgentiam, absolutionem, et remissionem, peccatorum, nostrorum tribuat nobis omnipotens et misericors Dominus" or "May almighty God have mercy upon you, forgive you your sins, and bring you to life everlasting."

We then glorify God by saying "Gloria in Excelsis Deo, et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis" or "Glory to God on high and on earth peace to men of good will." Think of the Latin "pax" and the English "pacify" and go from there! If you match the remaining words, you'll easily follow the meaning and see that you know Latin!

So, the next time you go to your church, temple, synagogue, or sanctuary, listen actively to the language. Hear the words. In the process you'll build your vocabulary - and you'll be filled with spirit and generosity, as a bonus!

"You lie!"

2009-09-10T11:05:00.000-07:00

By now, everyone has read or heard about President Obama's speech to Congress last night, particularly the moment when Representative Joe Wilson's heckled the president with this unkind remark, "You lie!"

Joe was referring to the President's promise that the proposed healthcare plan will not insure illegal immigrants. We can assume that Joe has no love for anyone who crosses our borders to work without having been properly processed by INS.

Moreover, I'm guessing that Joe, congressman from South Carolina, must have read my blog on the power and effectiveness of two word sentences. No doubt, he expressed himself quite clearly in two words, one of them ugly.

Now, Joe, whom just about nobody knew (they were too busy following the sexual exploits of South Carolina governor Mark Sanford), has moved into the international spotlight. Just two words did it for him (that and a forum being watched intensely by media from all over the world)!

Joe has apologized, of course, telling the president that his emotions got the better of him; but, he has added his message to those ignominious few that will go down in history: Bill Clinton's "I did not have sex with that woman," Joseph McCarthy's "I have here in my hand...," and Henry Kissinger's "Mistakes were quite possibly made by the administrations in which I served (regarding Viet Nam)."

What can we learn from Joe Wilson? Among other things, choose your words carefully. One word, two words, it doesn't matter - words have power. You can harm someone (or yourself) irreparably with one word (remember when David Howard lost his job in DC for using the word "niggardly").

Use the appropriate medium. If you're a little crazy and want to get the world's attention, find a way to crash a joint session of Congress and shout (wear or throw) your message at the audience. If you want to criticize the president and be seen as a rational and normal individual, don't shout while the president is talking, and certainly don't call him a liar. Send him a memo. Give him a call. Hell, text him; he still insists on carrying his Blackberry.

What is this?

2009-09-07T08:09:00.000-07:00

This weekend my wife, Holly, and I and our sons, Nicholas and Alexander, visited the home of our friends, Dennis and Margaret Moran. They own Dennis Moran Design and work from their beautiful home near Scenery Hill, Pennsylvania (in Washington County near Pittsburgh).

We actually got together to exchange Christmas presents from last Christmas! Better late than never! During our visit yesterday, Dennis gave my sons rides on his tractor (and let them drive his riding mower). This excited them greatly. And, when we went back inside their home, Dennis gave my sons a tour of his design studio (Dennis is one of the premier graphic designers in America and a very talented photographer).

During the tour of his studio, my sons were fascinated by Dennis's photos (the ones he had just taken of them on the mower) and an old sword and sheath that Dennis's uncle gave him. And, they were impressed by all of the antique cameras in Dennis's collection (antique meaning they were 10-20 year old film cameras). At one point, though, Alex called to Dennis from another room and asked, "What is this?"

When Dennis walked into the room, he saw that Alex was pointing to a typewriter, a very "Old School" communication device. It gave Dennis and me a good laugh! For my sons, a world without a computer and cell phones seems impossible. Communication without them also seems impossible. And, yet, long ago (in the 1980's) people communicated pretty well with each other using typewriters.

As the means of communication change, we need to understand the basics of communication, as well as the nuances of new media. Typewriters did their jobs well and so do computers. But, ALL CAPS MEANS SHOUTING to the audience whether it shows up in an e-mail message, a blog post, or a typewritten memo. You may not intend shouting, but your audience will read it that way. So, Old School or New School, you will never communicate very effectively if you don't understand and accommodate the needs of the audience.

Dennis and I learned from eight year old Alex something we have all learned: communication tools change. But, again, we need to remind ourselves that the principles of communication remain the same forever, especially this most important fundamental: you must live in the land of the audience, regardless of the device you use to communicate. This rule will last longer than a typewriter or a computer, just like our friendships with the Morans.

"Make It Look Like Wet Paint"

2009-09-04T07:25:00.000-07:00

I asked my students to read a McKinsey Report article that featured an interview with Chip Heath, co-author of a great book, "Made to Stick." They also read a Harvard Business Review article about Heath entitled, "The Curse of Knowledge," where he talked about our assumptions that our audiences know what we know.

In the class discussion we talked about Chip's advice to use Simple, Unexpected, Concrete, Credible, and Emotional language in the form of Story to make messages stick and not to assume that audiences will know what we're saying simply because we said it. During the discussion, one of my graduate students, Laura Miller, told the class this story:

"I work at 21st Street Coffee and Tea. Our milk comes from the local Brunton Dairy. Ed Brunton delivers the milk every week in glass bottles and picks up our 'empties'.

We steam the milk for our coffee. Steaming milk at 21st Street Coffee and Tea is done differently than just about every other coffee shop in town. We do not re-steam milk. The milk we steam will be used for only one drink for one person; in other words, we do not steam large quantities and let the milk sit. We steam milk to be between 140 and 150 degrees; this way the milk tastes sweet and good for every drink, rather than waxy or burned if the milk reaches a higher temperature.

Lucas and Alexis Shaffer own 21st Street Coffee and Tea and work as baristas side by side their employees. I worked at 21st Street Coffee and Tea for four weeks before they began to train me to steam milk. They waited four weeks to train me so that before I steamed milk I would already have an idea of the rhythm of the coffee shop. I knew what a good drink tasted like, what steaming milk right sounded like, and I knew what a good drink looked like when finished.

Steaming milk the right way is difficult to learn. The balance of air, milk, and heat must be just so in order to create a uniform micro-foam which is the signature of a perfect latte. Rather than have me worry about all of the small details I needed to know in order to steam milk (precise temperature, micro-foam size, texture, etc), Luke said, 'Don't worry about all of the details. Just make it look like wet paint. Pretend like you are going to paint with it.' When talking about milk temperature he said, 'Put your hand on the side of the container. When the container is hot enough to be uncomfortable but not burn you, it is done. That is a latte temperature.'

So when I make lattes at 21st Street Coffee and Tea, rather than thinking I am making a latte, I first picture myself making wet paint. It works every time."

And, that, my friends, is language working at its best! It uses a simple, concrete, unexpected image to communicate to an uninformed person a concept that the expert clearly knows. The result? A great tasting latte - with the texture of wet paint!

What would you do?

2009-08-30T06:27:00.000-07:00

I met Chad Varga a few months ago. A handsome, enthusiastic, 6 foot 7 inch young man, he starred in basketball at the University of Pittsburgh in the late 90's, had a tryout with the Dallas Mavericks, broke his hand, and went to Europe to play professionally.

At 25, at the height of his talent and physical development, Chad walked away from the sport he loved. He walked away from the fame, adulation and money (he had a large six-figure income on the boards, complete with incentives) to pursue another calling - to helps kids in trouble.

Why did Chad Varga walk away from fame and fortune (and a shot at coming back to the NBA) to help kids? He did it because of his own screwed-up childhood. When we say "screwed-up", it's an understatement. Chad's childhood was tragic, affected by drugs and alcohol addiction, not his addiction but his mother's.

What is screwed-up? Try this: Chad moved 17 times in his first 18 years. Chad's mother came in and out of his life every few years without announcement. Once, when she did visit, she stabbed him in the hand with a butcher knife because she thought he had poured her alcohol down the drain. When he was just a toddler, she took him and his sister Wendy to crack houses to get a fix and some sexual pleasure. When his mother was at home and partying, she locked the kids in a closet. At one point in her life, she ran drugs from South America and, as a result, Chad had a chance to visit her in federal prison.

You'd think that a guy who had Chad's childhood would either become a criminal or an addict himself. You'd think that if he ever made anything of his life, which he and everyone else probably doubted, he'd take the money and run. But, he didn't. In fact, he ran from the money, taking his family with him. Imagine being his wife, son and daughter when he said to them, "Let's leave this beautiful home on the Mediterranean Sea, leave the nice clothes and cars, leave the greatest comforts money can buy and go back to America so that I can start a non-profit to help kids who have lives like I had."

Well, it turns out that he had a beautiful and understanding wife and two great kids who stood behind him 100% in his decision as they returned to America to begin a non-profit organization called "Inspire Now", dedicated to taking a message to teenagers that they have greatness within them, that they can succeed, that they can transform their lives, that they are not alone.

Chad has spoken to over 1.5 million kids in the last eight years, more than any other motivational speaker. He goes anywhere he is called to speak with any number in an audience from 4 to 52,000. He seldom touches a basketball. Instead, at 34 he struggles to keep in shape and keep the weight accumulated from the airlines and speaking circuit away from his middle. But, he still has the deep, reverberating passion of a man who knows he made the right decision, especially when he recites the statistics on how many kids write suicide plans every year, how many kids carry guns to school, how many girls are raped or become pregnant. At those time you see in his eyes that he knows he made the right decision to walk away from basketball.

Few of us ever have to make a decision like that. But I wonder? What would you do?

Do you have a partner?

2009-08-27T08:17:00.000-07:00

I taught Professional Writing to a class of working people Tuesday evening in the Masters of Public Management program at the Heinz College of Carnegie Mellon University. The class began at 530pm and lasted with no breaks until 800pm. It made for a long day, especially because I began teaching at 900am that morning.

I gave my introductory lecture and used my best jokes with the audience of 17 students, most of whom, like me, had been working all day at hospitals, insurance companies and other businesses around Pittsburgh. The students in this class, as befitting the CMU profile, consisted of people from Japan, China, Turkey and, of course, America.

Near the middle of the class as part of a lengthy discussion of communication, I asked the students to find a partner, one to be the sender of a message, the other to be the receiver. I was going to ask them to replicate a study done at Stanford University whereas the sender, using a pen or pencil, taps the melody of a song to the receiver who must identify the song solely by the tapping.

The experiment works beautifully to demonstrate several issues about communication. For one thing, when nine or ten people start tapping on their desks, they create a lot of NOISE and distraction, typical of any communication environment. Usually in my classes the students are from varying countries and they don't know the same songs. And, always the students demonstrate the problem known as "The curse of knowledge," that is, the problem that occurs when senders of messages who know their messages too well try to communicate with audiences who may know little to nothing.

In the Stanford study 50% of the senders thought they could successfully tap the song to the receivers, but only 2.5% succeeded, proving that most of us are, indeed, cursed by our own knowledge. We send messages and assume that the audiences have the same knowledge, interest and enthusiasm that we have. The curse is so strong that when the students tap the songs they can hear them in their heads and don't understand why the receivers can't hear them as well. Typically, in my classes the success factor mirrors the Stanford success rate, about 2%.

So, as I was beginning the exercise, one that the students always find enjoyable, I said, "Everyone get a partner." After saying this, I noticed that a few students were not moving. So, I addressed them directly and said, "Please get a partner." A few of them looked at me with blank expressions. Finally, as a result of the late hour, I suppose, I became a little irritated and looked at one man from Turkey and in a little louder voice said, "Get a partner. Now" He didn't move.

Frustrated, I asked, a little too harshly, "Do you have a partner?" He looked at me and said quietly and humbly, "Yes, my wife."

I was shocked and embarrassed and immediately understood that I had suffered the curse of knowledge. I assumed he defined the word "partner" in the same way I did. And, I learned a valuable lesson from the exchange. We can not assume that even the simple word "partner" in the context of a classroom means the same to everyone. When I told him to get a partner, he must have been tremendously confused. "How do I get my wife here from Turkey?" he may have wondered. He was confused, I was irritated, the class was watching - the situation could have escalated...over a single word.

We had trouble communicating and I imagined what must happen on an international stage as countries and their diplomats struggle to understand each other and struggle to maintain peace among each other trying to use language as their medium. I learned a valuable lesson, one that I won't soon forget. Don't assume that any word or symbol has the same meaning to everyone and be patient. If you don't, you won't have a partner!

You only need two words.

2009-08-20T18:15:00.000-07:00

When we were in school, our teachers made us write 100-word essays. Or, we applied for scholarships that asked for 500-word essays. This unfortunate practice has led many of us to search the dictionary for long words so as to create long sentences and even longer paragraphs. Ultimately this gives rise to the kind of business writing we see, filled with jargon, buzz words and incomprehensible gobbledygook. We think that if we use long words in long sentences we'll appear smarter.

Our teachers should have told us that we only need two words to write a great sentence. I use as proof that wondrous sentence from the King James Bible (John 11:35), "Jesus wept." You will recall, if you've ever read about Lazarus, that he and his sisters were greatly loved by Christ. But, Lazarus died. Jesus learned of the death from Mary, Lazarus's sister, who approached him crying. When Jesus saw this, the Bible tell us, "Jesus wept." How profound is that! Two words! "Jesus wept."

A simple two word sentence conjured a full image of the entire scene, and the great compassion of Christ, for each of us. No further description was required. Two words covered it. Great writing does that: it creates full color images for the reader in simple, concise language. The writer engages the reader and the message is clearly heard and received.

I hereby offer some other two word sentences (granted, not as profound as the last example) that prove that you only need two words to make an impact:

1.) I quit.
2.) Mom died.
3.) We won!
4.) That rocks!
5.) Girls rule.
6.) I do.

Now, those were declarative sentences and you may be thinking of some imperative sentences with two words such as:

1.) Get lost.

But, those two word sentences don't count. They don't count because they're really three word sentences. They have an understood subject - you. So, "Get lost" is really "You get lost" - three words.

Three word sentences can be powerful, too, and we will explore that in the next post. But, for now, I ask you to suggest some two words sentences that make a strong statement and require no further elaboration. Remember: you only need two words!

Don't write if you have nothing to say.

2009-08-19T14:31:00.000-07:00

A few friends have asked why I haven't posted for a while. Simply, I have had nothing interesting or useful to say.

I have done interesting things: I taught writing to 13 graduate students from Mexico (who challenged my notions of communication); I taught "Writing Better RFPs" to employees from one of the most successful technology solutions companies in the world (they, too, provided interesting communication challenges). I taught some of the most engaging adults in Pittsburgh in a Heinz School program called Master of Public Management for students who work all day and go to class at night(and demand value for their time and money). But, I haven't had anything of instructive value to add in a blog to you.

So, why waste your time and de-value this blog? With the estimated 1000 blog posts per minute, you have much to keep you busy (and much to ignore). Besides, I have spent the last three months reflecting on the heart surgery of a nine-year old boy, a little boy who has amazed me with his courage and fortitude. This boy, my son Nicholas, who had open heart surgery on May 21st, was predicted to be in the hospital in Boston for four or five weeks (and in intensive care for one week) but spent only two days in intensive care and only one week in the hospital. He has now been to the beach boogey-boarding and he has been to the park riding his bike. These actions (and the nine-inch scar down the middle of his chest) have spoken more than any words in a blog could ever say. Indeed, his courage and the magnitude of his experience make the word "blog" pale.

But, that said, I will share this one comment on communication: When asked about his surgery, without any false bravado, Nickie said, "Oh, they put you to sleep, cut you open, do their surgery and then you wake up wanting the tubes out of your mouth." I thank the spirit in him every day for his attitude and resilience.

I guess I'm saying that words can be powerful tools but they can't substitute for the subtlety, nuance, and sublimity of an experience like Nickie's. Words can be powerful or they can be powerfully useless. With that I suggest to anyone blogging that he or she not write unless they have something to say. Write not to write but to serve some purpose (especially as defined by their insights into, or reflections from, their readers). Or, don't write.

What messages are you sending?

2009-07-07T10:58:00.000-07:00

First, I apologize for the lack of posts over the past few weeks. I experienced something so profound, with the surgery of my son, that anything else seemed insignificant. But, now I'm back in the groove. I feel a renewed passion about communication, and I want to share a story.

For the past few years I taught in a summer program, the PPIA Fellowship Program, also known at Carnegie Mellon University as the "PPIA Junior Summer Institute at Carnegie Mellon." The acronym PPIA stands for Public Policy and International Affairs.

In any event, students from around the USA in their junior year of college who are interested in public policy and international affairs are recruited to attend PPIA on a number of different campuses, CMU included. The students tend to come from very diverse socio-economic backgrounds and circumstances. For example, one of my students had been living in a car because he had been awarded a protection from abuse against his parents. He was passionate about public policy, as are most of the PPIA students, the majority of whom reflect a minority background.

The courses CMU offers include Policy Analysis, Economics, Quantitative Methods and Professional Communications. My CMU colleague Chris Labash and I taught the Professional Communications to the 30 students who comprised the summer class. He taught the Professional Speaking and I the Professional Writing.

So, last summer I'm standing in class talking about communication - sender, receiver, message, medium, noise and so forth - acting every bit the professor and expert at communication. I'm stressing the need to understand the audience and I'm using business examples and a student in the back row raises her hand and says, "You don't understand us at all."

As you might imagine, that remark caught me completely off guard. I stammered some inarticulate response and completely lost my concentration and flow, struggling through the rest of my presentation wondering how I misjudged the audience and how I might ever get them and my credibility back.

Well, at a moment like that one learns the value of feedback, so I asked the student to stay after class and tell me what she meant.

"How could you understand us." she said (it was not a question). "You are older than us, you wear the Polo clothes, you probably live in the suburbs. You talk to us about communicating and you use examples from your consulting and your business; we don't know anything about all of that. We want to hear about Martin Luther King, Jr. and Barack Obama and people we admire."

I knew instantly that she was right about the content of the lectures. I had taken my regular Professional Writing course and tried to teach it to these underclassmen (women). And, I had been called on it. But, the other part really puzzled me and I tried to explain to her why.

"I grew up in a small town in a lower middle class family whose father was often laid off and usually ugly drunk," I said to her. "We ate surplus cheese and drank surplus milk when we lived on welfare. I have felt shame and deprivation and I know exactly where you are coming from because I have lived it. I was the first person in my family to go to college and I had to face the jealousies and questions about whether or not I would think I was better than everyone else. They actually asked me if I would still talk to them. So, I think I can understand and communicate with anyone who is marginalized."

"That may be," she said, "But you don't send that message when you're standing in front of the class. You don't seem like us at all."

"I understand what you mean about the content," I said, "and I will adjust the content according." And I did. I used the Obama/McCain messages, I used King's "Message from Birmingham Jail," I used Orwell's "Politics and the English Language."

But, I was too far gone to change the subtle messages I was sending, messages about my education, my socio-economic status, my business background. However, I came face-to-face with something I should have understood - we give messages even when we don't know it. What we wear, as much as the vocabulary we use, sends a strong message. Often those messages conflict with the messages we want to send. If we want to relate, or fit in, as we always do, we need to think about everything that creates our message because we are always sending messages, consciously or not!

Don't tell me the health care system doesn't work.

2009-06-15T14:32:00.000-07:00

I have been following the news on health care reform. Today, for example, the NY Times reported on President Obama's speech to the AMA. The president told the physicians' group, "Today, we are spending over $2 trillion a year on health care – almost 50 percent more per person than the next most costly nation. And yet, for all this spending, more of our citizens are uninsured; the quality of our care is often lower; and we aren't any healthier. In fact, citizens in some countries that spend less than we do are actually living longer than we do...Make no mistake: the cost of our health care is a threat to our economy. It is an escalating burden on our families and businesses." He even blamed the high costs of health care for, of all things, the GM collapse.

An editorial in that same newspaper is titled, "Doctors and the Cost of Care" and it is among the most e-mailed articles on the NY Times website. Among other things it says, "There is disturbing evidence that many (doctors) do a lot more than is medically useful — and often reap financial benefits from over-treating their patients. No doubt a vast majority of doctors strive to do the best for their patients. But many are influenced by fee-for-service financial incentives and some are unabashed profiteers." It tells readers, after reporting on a study in McAllen, Texas, "Doctors have been complicit in driving up health care costs. They need to become part of the solution."

As someone who worked in health care for twenty years, and who is a parent who recently saw his nine-year old son treated for heart repair, I have an informed, and at the same time admittedly prejudiced, view of health care in America. I think it's great. I think most of its doctors are above reproach.

How great is in health care in America? Imagine - replacing someone's face. Imagine - replacing someone's severed hand. Imagine - stopping a baby's tiny heart, operating on it, and re-starting it to save that baby's life.

How hard is that? We are told that our hearts are the size of our fist. Think, then, of a newborn baby and the size of its fist...and its heart. Think of operating on that tiny and life-giving organ. When my son was born with a heart abnormality nine years ago, Dr. Frank Pigula saved his life by stopping it, repairing it, and re-starting it. I have seen open heart surgery, yet I can't imagine doing what Dr. Pigula did.

Dr. Pigula operated on my son again, last month, using a similar procedure to stop my son's heart, get inside it, repair one valve and place a porcine valve where one didn't exist, and then re-start his heart and his life. Dr. Pigula has now given my son a better life on three occasions. I can't imagine ever telling him that he makes too much money or that he orders too many tests. On the other hand, I admired his thoroughness and attention to detail. It has had a significant bearing on my son's recovery and will affect the rest of his life.

This same Dr. Pigula recently served a tour of duty in Afghanistan, leaving his wife, three children and a good income to help the people of that country, one of whom was a small child who was shot by accident by her little brother (and not by an American soldier). You can read about him here: http://www.childrenshospital.org/clinicalservices/Site471/mainpageS471P6subl

I thank God that Dr. Pigula survived his tour of Afghanistan. He operated on my son four weeks ago and now my son stands beside me as I type, growing healthier and stronger every day. He wants on this computer so he can google Transformers, Bionicles, Halo, and Star Wars stuff. Later when we take a shower together because he is not yet allowed to take a bath, I will see the raw, red scar that runs straight down the middle of his chest to his stomach and I will be reminded of both the horror of such operations and the miracle of his recovery. I will see Dr. Pigula standing in front of me at Children's Hospital of Boston telling my wife and me that Nickie's surgery went well and that he will have a full recovery. I will see evidence of the greatness of health care in America in the eyes of that humble, dedicated and talented man.

Who do you love?

2009-06-10T16:35:00.000-07:00

Do you love your wife? Your husband? Your partner? Your son? Your daughter? What does that mean, you love them?

In November of last year, doctors told my wife and me something we had been expecting for nine years, that our son Nicholas would need heart surgery. He was born with a defective tricuspid valve and a missing pulmonary valve and that caused blood in his heart to leak back after it was pumped; it also caused his right ventricle to expand. We had begun to see him lose stamina and to say more often, "I'm exhausted." We knew after November that surgery would come sometime in 2009 but we weren't sure when.

The news of the impending surgery affected me deeply. I had strong feelings of love for Nicholas, certainly, but the news that he would be operated on made me examine that love more closely. That news terrified me and my imagination ran amok. I thought of every conceivable outcome, many of them tragic. When we were told the date of surgery, I felt caught in a whirlpool of events over which I had no control.

When I thought I could lose someone I deeply loved, I began to question that love. I learned that I could tell Nicholas I love him, I could kiss him, I could hug him and have a catch with him or take him to a movie. But somehow none of that seemed enough. It wasn't until I felt his vulnerability that I struggled with the question of love for him.

Every evening before we went to sleep, Nicholas came to my bedside to visit. Often I was half asleep when he talked to me about my day and his day or his Transformers or Bionicles or the Friday evening episode of Star Wars Animated. I realized one evening that I wasn't really seeing him or listening to him. I wasn't really experiencing him. So, I started to listen deeply, to hear him, to watch him, to see his expressions, his gestures.

Of course, I continued to tell him I love him, to tuck him into bed, to take him to "Groovy" on the South Side to look for Transformers, to take him to see a movie and to do all the other mundane but important things parents should do that mean love.

But, when I watched him and listened deeply to him, experienced him as fully as possible, in the moment, I felt I was really loving him, especially when I knew his surgery was imminent and real. I was attending to him in a way that made the other things seem peripheral.

I now force myself to do that with the people I love, and I have tried to love more people. To notice them, listen to them, experience them in a deep way that makes "Walk a mile in my shoes" seem simplistic.

I don't know who you love, but I know you love someone. I suggest that you go to that person and experience him or her as fully as you can, in the moment. Listen to each word, watch his or her gestures, give that person the best gift you can give, your full and undivided attention. Listen and watch as if that person might be taken from you at any moment. You will, in an interesting way, become that person and you will experience a compassion and empathy unlike anything you have ever felt. Then, you will really know love.

Meet the Manager.

2009-06-08T13:13:00.000-07:00

I asked Dr. Frank Pigula, the man who operated on my son's heart, how the heart re-starts after being stilled by potassium during heart surgery. "It wants to beat," he said.

"It wants to beat." Just that. I was amazed by that simple yet profound answer, just as I was impressed by his willingness to answer any of the questions we had in a patient and understandable way.

But, then, we experienced the same openness and willingness to communicate during our overall experience at Childrens Hospital of Boston, the hospital which is ranked by US News and World Report as the top hospital in America for pediatric cardiovascular surgery.

When Nickie had pre-operative tests, the nurses and technicians explained in simple terms the MRI, the Stress Test, everything with a cooperative and patient attitude. The day before the surgery, Dr. Pigula sat with us and talked about the surgery, using his hands and diagrams on paper to show us as simply as possible where he would place the pulmonary valve and how he would correct the tricuspid valve. Before he left the room, he hugged Nickie and said, "I'm going to take good care of you."

And he did, for over six hours. Our son went to the ICU after his surgery, and Dr. Pigula came to check on him and to talk to us. At 10:30 pm, after having operated on our son for much of the day, Dr. Pigula sat in the Parents' Room in ICU with us, even though he was visibly tired, and reviewed the operation in terms we could understand. It allowed us to go to the hotel, assured that Nickie was receiving the best care in the world.

The surgical repairs required to make my son's heart function normally were complex, but Dr. Pigula successfully communicated to my wife and me, two parents, filled with fears and anxieties, who had only a basic understanding of a very complex situation. Despite his extraordinary expertise, Dr. Pigula reached us. For people like us on opposite ends of the technical spectrum to successfully communicate, with emotions and fatigue thrown in to the mix, was nothing short of miraculous.

When I visited the ICU the next day, Nickie was connected to a variety of monitors and medications. On the first day I asked Patrick, his one-on-one ICU nurse, about the various drugs dripping into the veins of my son.

"Dopamine helps his right ventricle with pumping," Patrick said as he worked around our conversation. "The morphine is for pain. The heparin keeps the tubes open and the nitroglycerin is for his coronary arteries."

Patrick told me about the milnirone, also, but I forgot to listen, amazed as I was by the monitors that measured the oxygen saturation of his blood, his heart rhythms, his blood pressure and his body temperature.

On the second day in ICU, Lauren, his new nurse, told me Nickie would have the breathing tube removed when he was able to breathe on his own. After she finished telling me, an announcement came on the intercom in the ICU inviting any visitors who were interested to meet "Meet the Manager." Lauren and I smiled at each other and I said, "I'll go meet the manager just to tell him or her how great you folks are." Nickie waved to us with his right hand and nodded his head up and down in agreement.

In the 18 ICU rooms, children of all ages, many of them babies, struggled to regain their health, some struggling for their lives, and the intercom invited visitors to "Meet the Manager." While these young patients struggled to regain their health, the rest of us struggled to communicate.

And, it is a struggle. Whether we place ourselves or our loved ones in the hands of medical professionals and have an overall understanding of things but lack the particulars, or whether we are sitting with a customer trying to explain computer technology to the uninformed, we must be able to answer questions and concerns in a clear, understandable, courteous manner and usually with great simplicity. Any communication that does not do that will likely fail. Then, if we're in a business setting, we'll hear, "I'd like to speak with your manager."

Emotions Affect Communication

2009-06-06T07:56:00.000-07:00

My 9-year old son, Nicholas, had heart surgery in Boston three weeks ago on May 21st. Before he had the surgery, he had an MRI on the 19th. Holly, his mother and my wife, went into the procedures with him. After it ended, she told me something that I had forgotten. Nickie had had a previous bad experience with an MRI in Pittsburgh, specifically the IV needle, and Nickie was a little frightened in Boston. The nurse at Children's Hospital of Boston used a "numbing patch" so that he wouldn't have the discomfort of feeling a needle enter his arm before the MRI. Evidently the patch had some form of anesthetic and it helped Nickie accept the needle. He liked the "numbing patch."

Our family had two days to look around the Longwood section of Boston and we even visited part of Old Boston and the Freedom Trail. But, our enthusiasm was dampened because each day Nickie had a pre-operative procedure and the impending surgery loomed over us. Each time we looked at him, we knew he would be having very serious surgery in a day or two.

On the day of surgery, as Nickie lay on the gurney in Pre-Op before the surgery, I struggled to stay composed and struggled with the right words to say to him. Before I lost control, I leaned close to him and said, "Come back to us, Nickie." Then I lost control of my emotions and had to leave his bedside. The anesthesiologist had given Nickie a sedative but through the fog of that relaxant, Nickie said, when I returned to his bedside, "Why are you crying, Daddy?" That caused me to lose all control.

Nickie came out of surgery at 10:00 pm and we visited him briefly in the ICU. The site was horrifying to my already heightened sensitivity. He had tubes in his mouth, lines in his neck, his chest, his side, his arms, and, of course, he had that long bandage running from his collarbone to his stomach. I didn't have to use my imagination to know what lay under that. But, the doctors told us everything had gone well in the operation and that an echocardiogram after surgery had shown that the new pulmonary valve and re-constructed tricuspid valve were working very well "with little to no leakage."

The next morning I arose early from the hotel where Holly and our son Alex were staying and went to the ICU. Nickie was alert, although the nurses were giving him a slow drip of morphine for pain. He still had the breathing tube down his throat and was certainly unable to talk but he flashed me a "thumbs up." I had to go into the hallway because I became choked up again at the site of this courageous little guy.

In fact, I went into the hallway and called my wife at the hotel to tell her about the "thumbs up," but, because I was so choked up, I struggled to talk, she thought something bad had happened. I straightened that out and was able to reassure her, but I was having a bad communication day that would only become worse. In fact, my sister, Dianne, who had travelled from Florida to be with us during and after the operation, called me minutes after my call to my wife. I told Dianne I was "in the hospital." She thought I had been hospitalized with a heart attack! It took a while for me to explain I was visiting Nicky in the hospital and why I was so overcome...by joy.

The communications didn't get any better. I went back into the ICU to see Nickie clearly in distress. He was trying to communicate with the nurse and was becoming frustrated because he had the breathing tube down his throat. I went to his side and leaned over, kissing his forehead and trying to calm him.

"Relax, Nickie," I whispered to him, my face inches from his. "Tell Daddy what you need."

I watched his mouth as he tried to form words, but I was unable to understand them. With the tubes in his mouth and down his parched throat he couldn't make his tongue and lips work the way we normally do to form the simplest sounds.

"Try again," I whispered to him.

Again, only garbled words or sounds came from his mouth.

By this time, he became frustrated and angry and again leaned up toward me, his mouth wanting to make a roar of sounds, the veins in his necked distended and a tear running down his cheek, but nothing came out but a dull hiss.

"Write it in my hand, Nickie," I said, holding my right hand up to him.

He used his right index finger to trace letters in the palm of my hand, but, in his pain and slight delirium, he was unable to write in such a way for me to understand, or I was inept at understanding.

"Can someone get a piece of paper and write the alphabet on it?" I asked.

"I will," one of the nurses said, quickly leaving the room.

Just as quickly she returned with a plain white piece of paper with the alphabet crudely written on it.

I took it from her and handed Nickie a pen.

"Point to the letters, Nickie," I said, holding the alphabet in front of him.

He pointed to an "N' a "P" an "H" and stopped.

I turned the paper over and said, "Can you write the words, Nickie?"

He put the pen to the paper as I held it in front of him again and wrote several letters. The first letter looked like an "H" and I couldn't understand the other letters, mostly because he had had to write them while in pain and fatigue one day removed from over six hours of open heart surgery and without a solid writing surface or any support for either the pen or the paper.

"I'm going to give him a little more morphine," the nurse said and I kissed Nickie and ran my hand through his hair telling him "I love you." Then I left the room.

Within a few minutes, my wife and son Alex came to the hospital. After Holly had a chance to see Nickie in the ICU and comfort him, I told her about the incident with Nickie and showed her the piece of paper with the words Nickie had written.

"Numbing patch," she said to me. "He was trying to write 'numbimg patch.'"

And so he was, but I was unable to see it. I had mistaken his "N" for an "H" and I was so emotionally invested and distracted by the sight of my son in pain that I couldn't communicate. Just as when I talked to my wife and sister on the phone, I was sending a message they misinterptreted because they, too, were under tremendous emotional stress.

I realize now that all communication is filtered through the emotions that the senders and receivers are experiencing at the moment, or in the case of Nicholas, the physical circumstances they are experiencing, the pain, the anesthetic, the difficult surroundings. All Nickie really wanted was a numbing patch for his whole body.

How do you tell your nine year old son?

2009-05-24T18:26:00.000-07:00

How do you tell your nine year old son he'll be having open heart surgery?

Do you tell him the doctors will put him to sleep and then split his sternum, peeling back his rib cage so that they can have an unobstructed view of, and access to, his heart. Do you tell him they'll fill his heart with potassium so that it won't beat and then pack his chest cavity with ice. Do you tell him they'll divert his blood into a machine that will pump it to his body and his brain? Do you tell him the part about slicing open his pericardium and then pushing a surgical ring into the place in his heart where his pulmonary valve was supposed to be? And what do you tell him about the malformed triscuspid valve? Do you tell him they'll use a new procedure to move the leaflets to a new spot in his heart so that they can stop the blood from flowing back into his right ventricle? What do you tell him about the pain of recovery?

If you profess to be a master of communication, and write a blog about communication, shouldn't you know the answers to these questions? Or, do you tell your son as little as possible when he asks you why you will be flying to Boston and visiting Children's Hospital there. Do you say things like, "You'll have a procedure there that will give you a better life, more energy, and the ability to run faster and longer? Or do you tell him something in between? If so, what is the something in between?

How do you say these things, any of them, and not reveal your horrible fear, perhaps in some body language of which you're not even conscious? What words do you choose? Which ones bring the tears to your eyes and how do you avoid them?

When you find yourself in a situation like that, you learn quickly how much you don't know about communication. When you struggle for words to explain the unthinkable, you learn how limited your vocabulary really is. You find that you can't make a coherent sentence. Forget a paragraph. You learn a lot of other things about yourself, as well. You learn, even though it seems trite, that there are some important, and unimportant, things in life. You learn about your emotions, your relationships with your family, your friends, your neighbors, your church, your God, your colleagues, your employer.

You learn that communication can't be reduced to a simple diagram. You learn that communication really does separate us and that it really can bond us. You learn that we must work to communicate successfully, that we must patiently struggle to communicate, particularly by understanding the other person. You learn that lesson, and much more, when you have to tell your nine year old son he'll be having open heart surgery.

Watch what you say in e-mail!

2009-05-10T13:22:00.000-07:00

Shall I remind us again to watch our words in e-mail messages? Oh yeh!

A few weeks ago I had a phone call from a local law firm I had never heard of. Their representative lawyer told me in the nicest terms that I'd be receiving a subpoena, how else, by e-mail. True as promised, a few days later, I received the subpoena. (I'm still not sure it was binding but I'm not asking.)

Anyway, the lawyer had told me the subpoena would ask for any records I had when I was doing some contract consulting work for a local fund development firm. I hadn't worked for the firm for several years; and, when I did, I had worked almost exclusively in fund development.

Well, I didn't remember, but I had also agreed to facilitate a strategic planning session between two firms that were now suing each other. The law firm knew this because they had "discovered" an e-mail I had written about the session.

Immediately I began to worry about what I might have said. I like to think I have as good a sense of humor as the next guy and use that sense of humor after getting to know people. So, I wondered what I might have said in that e-mail. Had I signed my name, "Joe Bagadonuts," as a joke, as I sometimes do? Had I used any profanity? Any ethnic references? God, I hoped not.

I spent a few restless nights wondering how many e-mails the law firm had and what I might have said in them. I saw my name and words in the headlines. It was chilling! Well, I guess I didn't compromise myself too badly because I haven't heard another thing about the subpoena. But, when I was reading Fortune magazine on-line today, I came across an article by one of my favorite Fortune writers, Anne Fisher, that I recommend you read. Follow this link and find another good reason you should always watch what you say in e-mail!

http://money.cnn.com/2009/05/08/news/economy/email.fortune/index.htm?postversion=2009050810

Write from the positive.

2009-05-08T17:50:00.000-07:00

You can improve your writing simply by reducing the amount of negatives you use in your sentences. For example, read this sentence:

"It is not possible to reduce inflationary pressures when the federal government does not reduce its spending." Two negatives, right. Confusing, right?

Now, write it from the positive: "When the government reduces its spending, we can reduce inflation" (or something similar to that). Also, note that the sentence begins with "It is," always a poor way to begin any sentence.

OK, try this one: "So long as taxpayers do not refuse to pay their taxes, the government will have no difficulty in paying its debts." That sounds like an SAT question. I think I know what it says, but....

Doesn't it really say: "When taxpayers pay their taxes, the government will pay its debts." Even if you hate to pay taxes, you'll agree that the new and improved sentence is easier to read. And, that's what we're after, kids, writing that's easy to read, easy for the reader.

OK, I've given you the easy sentences. Try this duo of negatives: "The Insured may not refuse to provide the Insurer with all relevant receipts, checks, or other evidence of costs except when such expenses do not exceed $110." Tell me you haven't seen language like this at work.

How did you do on your re-write? Something like this? "The insured must provide receipts (etc) when costs exceed $100."

Are you catching the drift? Yeh? Are you ready for the BIG challenge? OK, try this sentence on for size: "The lack of disconfirming evidence suggests that the results are not open to dispute, unless the absence of data from other investigations is taken as a negative factor."

And, when you're through with that one, try this: "Elections in which there is no attempt at dealing with those issues which do not receive adequate attention during the time when no election campaigns are underway cannot serve the functions for which they were intended."

Send me your interpretations. Or, work on those last sentences tonight, take two aspirins and call me in the morning. In any event, I guarantee you won't use negatives in your writing again!

Buy this book!

2009-05-03T09:25:00.000-07:00

I just read an important new book, “Chaotics: The business of managing and marketing in the age of turbulence” by Philip Kotler and John Caslione.

Kotler, as most people know, is the distinguished author and teacher of marketing. He and the less-well-known Caslione argue that these troubling times are not an aberration but the new norm, the "Age of Turbulence." For the new world, the authors offer a Chaotics Model and a management systems for resilience. Much of their thought will seem counter-intuitive.

For example, in their discussion, Kotler and Caslione argue against:

-Resource allocations decisions that undermine core strategy and culture

-Across-the-board spending cuts versus focused and measured actions

-Quick fixes to preserve cash flow, putting key stakeholders at risk

-Reducing marketing, brand and new product development expenses

-Declining sales and price discounting

-Decoupling from customers by reducing sales-rated expenses

-Cutting back on training and development expenses in economic crises

-Undervaluing suppliers and distributors

Imagine, arguing against brand development expense and staff training in this economy! Ad agents, consultants, and training specialists will glom onto Kotler's words for sure. "Don't cut the ad budget! Keep training the staff! Philip Kotler said so!" And, those words make a lot of sense, albeit counter-intuitively.

All executive actions, in turbulence or calm, will affect the company, its customers and employees. Kotler and Caslione say, “Every company faces difficult choices, especially when the economy tightens or, worse yet, grinds to a halt. But during times of turbulence, the decisions a leader makes will be even more far reaching. There will be lasting and significant impact not only on the bottom line but on employees, morale, and the culture and values that define the company, particularly if the decision undermines the company’s fundamentals and fails to meet customers’ expectation.”

The authors also stress what I have stressed in my crisis consulting activities: the Chinese word for “crisis” includes the two characters “danger” and “opportunity.” In a time of crisis, smart companies and executive will meet danger but they will also find opportunities, if they keep their wits about them.

Whether your company is having trouble or not, and whose isn't, you need to read Kotler/Caslione and take heart. Trouble is here to stay but we're all in it together and those who detect turbulence, adjust, and manage accordingly will succeed, indeed thrive!

Look for the Kotler/Caslione book at Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Chaotics-Business-Managing-Marketing-Turbulence/dp/0814415210/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1241368842&sr=1-1

He put his * in her *.

2009-05-02T11:46:00.000-07:00

He put his backpack in her car? He put his dog in her living room? He put his hotdog in her bun? OK, you fill in the blanks.

Be careful, though. You could use words that offend people. Maybe, the mere suggestion of such words in the headline above offends you. I wonder.

I also wondered how Carnegie Mellon University faculty and staff felt about a pornographic movie being shown on CMU's campus. An XXX-rated movie, “The New Devil in Miss Jones,” was shown last Sunday night, April 26th by students at CMU for a student audience, but I was curious to know what CMU faculty and staff thought. So, as co-editor of the CMU publication, "Focus," I asked them. I stopped people randomly on campus and asked, “How do you feel about pornography being shown on campus and do you think it affects our reputation?”

Most of my interviewees were very forthcoming. Most said what they thought. One ran off, and one refused attribution. The first said, with much enthusiasm, “I think it’s great! But I won’t comment.” (That was a man, by the way…so to speak.) And one, a faculty member, gave me a reasoned quote and later chickened out, asking that her name not be used.

For the record, Dick Tucker, interim dean of student affairs, cited the official university position in an e-mail that was quoted in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette. Dick (no pun intended) said, “While university policy supports freedom of expression, the university strongly objects to showing such films. We regret the offense or discomfort that the showing of such a film may create for members of the campus community."

He also said a staff adviser "…has been engaged in ongoing conversations with the group, as in past years, strongly encouraging (the students) to reconsider the appropriateness of showing such a film."

OK, that was the official position. But, as I said, I wanted to know how the CMU faculty and staff felt about a subject that obviously makes people very nervous; so, I took a walk around campus, stopped people at random, and asked, “How do you feel about porn being shown on campus and what do you think it does to the reputation of the school?”

Bob Taylor, of Heinz College, said, “I’d have to know how you define ‘porn.’ Some of the violence that we routinely watch could be called ‘porn.’ If it’s sexual, I’d have to say ‘no’ to it on the basis that it doesn’t add anything of value. In any event, it’s a personal decision.”

Brian Staszel, Multimedia Designer/Manger, echoed that thought. Brian asked, “What does X-rated mean? I’m a huge supporter of free speech. In fact, I teach at Pittsburgh Filmmakers and we have had students try to make porn. But, we want to know, ‘What point are you trying to make.’ I find that students are doing it for shock value.”

Suzette Mongell, a young executive assistant to Takeo Kanade, felt “pretty neutral” to the showing of porn on campus. “If people want to see it, they can,” she said. “We’re all adults, old enough to make our own choices.”

But, what about the reputation of the university, I asked? Rose Krakovsky, a receptionist in Statistics, said, “I visited a friend of mine in the hospital before the movie was shown and he asked me about the movie; he thought it presented a bad impression.” When asked how she felt about showing the movie, Rose said, “I’m against it. It demeans women, and doesn’t help the guys a lot, either.”

Bonnie John, a professor in Human Computer Interaction, said, “I believe in free speech, but I’d suggest they check ID’s at the gate. The movie should be for consenting adults. And, attendance at the movie cannot be required for a grade.”

Most faculty and staff mentioned the complications of free speech and the maturity needed to accompany it. An associate professor in Philosophy whom we interviewed, and who later wished not to be identified, said, "Both pornography and free speech are difficult and complicated issues. If they are to be discussed, they should be discussed thoughtfully and carefully and in an informed manner; knee-jerk responses must be avoided. Moreover, it should be remembered that, although both of these are involved in the question at hand, they are distinct. A discussion of one should not be conflated with a discussion of the other. That said, I don't think that the showing of one adult movie on campus is something to get too worked up about."

Ironic isn’t it? This person who doesn’t think porn’s a big deal, who treasures free speech, won‘t allow attribution in a campus publication. Hmm. Tenure issues?

Jackie DeFazio, business manager in Philosophy, and willing to go on the record, responded to our question in this way, “I’m not for it,” she said. “My son is coming here next year and I don’t think he needs to see porn. It’s not really needed on campus.”

But, is it needed? Narelle Sissons, assistant professor of design at the School of Drama, said, “We should have freedom to watch what we want to watch. And, if it provokes a useful discussion, so much the better. Porn exists; we can’t deny that. And, I can imagine the curiosity of the students. I wouldn’t go, but if we can use a showing as a teaching tool, if we can have a debate, if we discuss porn’s value, or lack thereof, to society, then it can be useful.”

Charline Tomer, a teacher at the Pre-school, said simply, “I’d rather not have it on campus.”

With a South American point of view, Uruguayan artist-lecturer at CFA and well known classical pianist, Enrique Graf, said, “The students are all 18; they can choose to go or not. It’s an individual decision and the internet is full of porn, anyway.”

Laurie Weingart, professor of organizational behavior at Tepper School, said, “These are young adults interested in sexuality. These movies are part of the sexual landscape. Perhaps we offer them a safer environment here to discuss this. As for CMU’s reputation, this is an isolated incident not likely to cause us harm.”

Marc Siskin, manager of the modern language resource center in the Department of Modern Languages said, “No one was forced to see the movie. It wasn’t part of any curriculum. I have no problem with it as long as it’s legal. But, it’s a slippery slope. Who knows who might be offended? I found “Apocalypto” (by Mel Gibson) very offensive but I don’t want to prevent others from seeing it.” His colleague, Sue Connelly agreed, saying, “We can’t infringe on free speech. If we limit that, where will we turn next, foreign films?”

Andrew Narshall, reserves assistant in Hunt Library, said, “I’m not a huge proponent of porn but the free speech issue trumps everything.”

Yes, I see. Free speech trumps all. But why does porn make so many people so nervous? Why do some faculty run, he actually ran from me, and others beg off from attribution? Why did the University of Maryland cancel the viewing of “Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge,” the most expensive porn film ever made ($10 million). Why so much worry at the University of Michigan and UC Davis who both made the news for planning to show it?

Maybe speech isn’t so free. What do you think?

The blogger blogs on cliches.

2009-04-28T15:15:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking about this blogging business and thinking about the commitment it takes, and with my full plate, 24/7, I wonder if I have the bandwidth. The stakeholders in my life have been pushing my envelope and I’m feeling like I’m outside the box. In fact it looks like I can't get my arms around my full plate. I guess I’ve been unable to get strategically focused on my go-forward plan, even though I realize this isn’t rocket science or brain surgery.

Speaking of blogging, when you drill down to the granular level, this is just basic blocking and tackling, isn’t it? However, at the end of the day, I want to be about robust, world-class language solutions. Net-net, my value proposition is based on maximizing synergies so that I'm in the blog market with a leveraged, value-added deliverable. That’s the big picture here, isn’t it? I know you can resonate with that.

So, if after reading this note you have any issues, plug them in or let's take them offline. I don’t think you’ll have issues, but many people have a result-driven mind-set that isn’t a strategic fit with my game plan. I want to be a mover and shaker; so, let’s take this blog and run with it. We’ll make it our big, hairy, audacious goal! We’re here to empower each other!

If nothing else, let’s touch base, ASAP. Write or ping me the next chance you have. We WILL connect. Meanwhile, never forget this: Bottom line, your call is very important to me!

You gotta read this!

2009-04-27T08:36:00.000-07:00

This weekend the NY Times published an interview with Richard Anderson, CEO of Delta Airline. The interviewer, Adam Bryant, asked Mr. Anderson a series of questions about leadership, career, meeting management and the qualities he is looking for in recruits. The Times article, headlined, "He Wants Subjects, Verbs and Objects," quickly rose to the top of the Times "Most Popular-E-Mailed" list.

I have pasted the link to the article here so that you can see why the article became viral:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/26/business/26corner.html?em

You will find, among other things, that Anderson stresses communication skills as keys to success. About interviewing, he says, "...what you’re trying to find out about are the intangibles of leadership, communication style and the ability to, today, really adapt to change."

Later, he says, "You’re looking for a really strong set of values. You’re looking for a really good work ethic. Really good communication skills. More and more, the ability to speak well and write is important. You know, writing is not something that is taught as strongly as it should be in the educational curriculum. So you’re looking for communication skills."

And, again, he adds, "It’s not just enough to be able to just do a nice PowerPoint presentation. You’ve got to have the ability to pick people. You’ve got to have the ability to communicate. When you find really capable people, it’s amazing how they proliferate capable people all through your organization. So that’s what you’re hunting for."

The title of the interview is taken from this passage, "I think this communication point is getting more and more important. People really have to be able to handle the written and spoken word. And when I say written word, I don’t mean PowerPoints. I don’t think PowerPoints help people think as clearly as they should because you don’t have to put a complete thought in place. You can just put a phrase with a bullet in front of it. And it doesn’t have a subject, a verb and an object, so you aren’t expressing complete thoughts.

And a lot of what we do in communication, when you write e-mail, you need to express yourself very clearly so people understand whether we’re going to L.A. today or we’re going to Boston today."

Finally, when asked about business school curricula, Anderson says, "When you’re managing as much change as corporations globally must deal with today, the ability to communicate and communicate effectively is so important that it ought to be a core capability in a business school curriculum. We measure, study, quantify, analyze every single piece of our business. Business schools in the United States have done a phenomenal job of creating that capability. But then you’ve got to be able to take all that data and information and transform it into change in the organization and improvement in the organization and the formulation of the business strategy."

I don't know about you, but I could kiss him for this interview. It will give me justification and encouragement for the next ten years! Thanks, Richard Anderson and the NY Times!

Answer these three questions before you blog for business.

2009-04-23T15:40:00.000-07:00

Businesses can benefit from blogging, both internal and external blogging. But, before any employee begins to blog, he or she needs to answer some important questions.

1.) What policies and/or tools does your company have in place to guide you if you decide to start blogging?

Some enlightened companies have policies and tools available, particularly for internal blogging. They provide sites for employees to blog. Some even have a blogging champion. The really enlightened companies have clearly articulated policies that regard information that may not be revealed or disclosed, in blogs or other public forums. If your company has such guidance and policies and you decide you want to blog, you need to answer the next question:

2.) What is my objective for blogging?

Do you want to blog to become notorious? (bad idea) Do you want to blog to make lots of money? (unrealistic idea) Do you want to blog because you have nothing else to do? (better have a trust fund). If, however, you decide that you want to blog because you want to build deeper relationships with your clients, because you want to hear what’s troubling them, because you have something worthwhile to say, you have identified good objectives. Many other positive things will come from blogging, but decide right up front that you’re not blogging to rant but to listen. Then, give some very serious thought to the next question:

3.) Am I ready to make the commitment to blogging?

If you aren’t prepared to spent 10-15 hours each week in planning, writing, editing and responding to your blog, get out now. Blogging takes that much time. Most successful bloggers post every week day, and some on the weekends. These people spend time thinking of subject matter that will fit their purpose and connect with the interests of their targeted audience. Then the bloggers attach their backside to a chair and begin writing. Anyone who writes knows that writing takes lots energy and focus…and time. Then, if you're lucky enough to hit on a hot topic and dozens of people respond to your post, you have an obligation to respond to them, as well, within a reasonable time. After all, when it is done well, blogging creates a conversation.

Techorati has identified over 110 million blogs. The vast majority of those blogs are not read. They come and go, or they come and stay on a server in blog limbo. If you decide to create and write a blog for business, you have made a wise and important business decision. But, you must do it correctly. You must clearly understand your objective and your audience and you must commit the time and energy that will be required. Then you can blog for your business. But make sure you know what you're doing. Your company reputation and brand may depend on it.

Four ways to put variety in your writing.

2009-04-20T08:08:00.000-07:00

This will take you back to 8th grade English class. Are you ready?

You can put variety in your writing by mixing the four types of sentences. What are those four types of sentences?

1. Simple
2. Compound
3. Complex
4. Compound-Complex

What do those terms mean? A simple sentence contains one independent clause (a group of words with a subject and predicate that can stand alone). For example, "The woman drove to the store and bought some groceries." This is a simple sentence even though it has two verbs (drove and bought).

A compound version of that sentence might read, "The woman drove to the store and bought some groceries, and her daughter waited in the car." Compound sentences consist of two or more independent clauses that are typically joined by a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, nor, for, so, while, yet). Lost yet? I hope not.

A complex sentence contains one independent clause and one or more dependent clauses (groups of words with subjects and verbs that can not stand alone). The complex sentence looks like this, "The woman drove to the store and bought some groceries while her daughter waited in the car." What group of words cannot stand on its own? "...while her daughter waited in the car" That's the dependent clause.

A compound-complex sentence combines the two types of sentences I have just discussed. A sample might look like this: "The husband stayed at home, and the woman drove to the store and bought some groceries while her daughter waited in the car."

What's the point of this time warp back to 8th grade? I will show you. I will show you that when you mix these four types of sentences you create variety in your writing. That variety leads to freshness, and that freshness keeps your readers interested while your writing avoids becoming stale.

For instance, read the following paragraph and notice how I mixed the four types of sentences. Also, note how the use of simple sentences in the first 13 sentences makes the writing boring.

"I told you. Vary your sentences. Use short sentences. Use long sentences. Write one word. Write ten words. Write fifty words. Or, bore me. Just like this. With short sentences. One after another. Three word sentences. One following another.

The reader has other choices, you know. He or she can pick up a magazine, a newspaper, a CD liner, a product label, anything that has words on it, and read it, instead of your memo.

If you lose the reader, you will not communicate. You will just make noise – blah, blah, blah. If you want to keep the reader, if you want to connect, if you want to cause action, vary your sentences. Write a complex sentence that begins with three subordinate clauses (just like the previous sentence). Or, on the other hand, begin your simple sentence with a conjunction and a prepositional phrase – just like this sentence. Simple, compound, complex, compound-complex – it’s your choice.

Whatever you chose, take the reader on a journey. Stop. On a dime. Take a leisurely walk; over the hills and down the valleys of your writing. Or, run, skip, hop, jump. Then, stop for a deserved rest. Yes, here. Wait. Just for a moment to catch your breath.

Now, get your second wind. Hurry along with the words gathering behind you before they cascade over your shoulder. (Yes, throw in an image that the reader can see.) Then, slow down again. Stop. Write again. Use three words. Write four word sentences. Keep the reader guessing; keep the reader interested.

Get along now; time to go home. Pick up some speed; go for the Big One; use a semicolon and join three independent clauses (a compound sentence). Don’t worry. Your readers will follow you, especially when you have used the right tools, such as action verbs, active voice, and characters as subjects in logical prose that uses well chosen words placed within well crafted sentences that create coherent and seamless paragraphs."

Well, now that you have re-visited 8th grade, don't you wish you could do it over again?! (If I only knew then what I know now!)

Keep subject and verb together.

2009-04-19T11:49:00.000-07:00

If you look at a lot of bad writing (especially business and academic writing), you'll find the same mistakes in each sentence. Typically the bad sentences use nominals and passive voice, and typically the subject and verb are 15-20 words away from each other (if not further). These bad sentences look like this one:

"The implementation of the project specifications for which we've been waiting at least six months, an implementation that should have been completed by now and was, in fact, begun well before the present team came on board to pick up the slack from the previous team, is critical to the project's success and the maintenance of the account."

Pretty bad, huh? Pretty typical, too! Let's look at it.

What's the subject of the main clause of the sentence? What's the verb of that subject? I'm not going to tell you for a minute. But, I am going to tell you that readers like to find the subject and verb quickly. This tells them what the sentence is about. And, readers like the subject to be a "character" who takes some kind of action. That means we need an action verb, especially in business writing where we usually write for action.

Well, if you guessed correctly, you said that "implementation" is the subject of the main clause of my bad sentence and "is" is the verb. Besides functioning as a being verb in the sentence, the word "is" doesn't sit anywhere near its subject, "implementation." Forty-six words separate "implementation," the subject, from "is, "the verb. And, to make matters worse, the word "implementation" isn't what you'd call a character as a subject. It's a nominal (a verb turned into a noun).

That sentence contains a 58 words. Any reader begins to lose comprehension of a sentence after it surpasses 20 words. But, that doesn't mean you can't write a 20-word sentence. You can write one even longer; just keep the subject and verb close to each other and keep balance in the sentence.

For example, suppose I write, "The woman fought the villain." The subject and verb sit next to each other in this subject-action verb-object sentence (the best kind). Now I can modify it in many ways, making it longer. I will do this and keep the sentence as a "simple sentence" (remember simple, compound, complex and compound-complex sentences from 8th grade?). A "simple sentence has only one clause. Here goes:

"On the first Monday of the month, on a rainy and windswept evening at 9:00pm, in a little town near Pittsburgh called Scenery Hill, the tall, dark-haired woman fought the evil, sinister and ugly villain valiantly and with the courage of a lioness."

That sentence has 43 words yet it can be easily read and understood because it uses a character as subject, action verb, active voice and because it keeps the subject and verb together. They need not be next to each other. I could have put some modifiers next to the verb. The subject and verb only need to be near each other and, for best results, in the subject-verb-object pattern so familiar to most readers.

When you keep the subject and verb close, you help the reader. Remember, no writing is understood until a reader understands it. Until then, it's only noise.

Even Philip Kotler makes mistakes!

2009-04-16T04:51:00.000-07:00

If you know anything about marketing, you know that Philip Kotler is THE MAN! I recommend any book he has ever written on marketing, especially the popular press books. His "Marketing Insights from "A-Z," "Kotler on Marketing" and "According to Kotler" will help anyone, even hardened marketing professionals, understand marketing better. (And, he has a new one coming out: "Chaotics"! I can't wait for it!)

As I say, I own, and have read, the first three, as well as most of Kotler's books; and, I have enjoyed them and learned from them. For that reason I was surprised when I was looking at text books to use in my marketing class and came across this passage in a Kotler text book on non-profit marketing:

"Individual behaviors that a marketer can influence require consumers to decide to act. Decisions about actions vary in two important dimensions: involvement and complexity.

While it is obviously a continuum, consumer behavior theorists make a distinction between low involvement and high involvement exchanges. They believe this difference affects the amount of cognition or problem solving a consumer will undertake during and after the exchange process. As defined by Engel and Blackwell, with respect to products and services,

“Involvement is the activation of extended problem solving behavior when the act of purchase or consumption is seen by the decision maker as having high personal involvement or relevance.”

That is one obtuse piece of writing, isn't it? If you read it a few times, you will hardly understand its meaning. But, if you look at how the sentences are crafted, you will see the errors; you will see why the passage fails: it uses too many nominals (verbs that have been turned into nouns).

So, let's translate. We begin by turning the nominals back into verbs. "Behavior" becomes "behave." "Decisions" becomes "decide." "Actions" becomes "act." "Involvement" becomes "involve." And, if you keep looking, you will find other such nominals that need to be turned back into verbs: exchanges, activation, purchase, consumption, and so forth.

When you begin to simplify the piece, that is, use shorter words and fewer nominals, and when you think about writing the passage conversationally, you start to make sense of it. Someone is behaving in a certain way. Someone is buying something after thinking about it a lot or a little. Marketers understand the ways people behave and the extent to which they become involved when they decide to purchase something. Right!?

Of course! With a little editing (re-crafting) we now know what Kotler was saying. Marketers know that when we buy chewing gum we don't think a lot about it. We don't involve ourselves too much; but, when we buy a new BMW, we think a lot about it. It's a little bit more complex! Smart marketers who know this use it to help us buy their products. Simple!

Why should Kotler and others write with simplicity? Remember: the New York Times said that literacy is falling among college graduates and corporate America can't build a sentence. In other words, not many people out there read well and fewer have the time to try to read a complicated passage. Any person or company that wants to achieve its objectives cannot communicate in a style that makes the same errors that Kotler made in that passage.

But, we forgive you, Phil. The rest of your writing is swell!

Are you high context or low context?

2009-04-13T14:28:00.000-07:00

I have taught writing in the School of Information Systems and Management at Carnegie Mellon University for ten years. Over that time I have taught hundreds of fine young people from India, South Korea, Japan, China, Thailand and just about every other land!

During one of the first classes I ask my Indian and Asian students if they communicate differently from Americans.

"Yes," they answer, "most definitely."

Then I ask them, "How do you communicate differently?"

After some shifting around in their seats, typically the Indian students respond with the obvious things, like British spelling. But, in some deeper part of themselves they know they communicate in a fundamentally different way. After they think about the question for a while, a forthright student will say, "We are less direct than the Americans. We are less forceful."

This style of communicating serves my non-American students well in business in India and Asia. In those places, the more direct style of communicating doesn't work. Direct-speaking Americans interacting in the Near and Far East are often seen as aggressive, abrasive and boorish. Conversely, the less assertive “Eastern” style of communicating doesn't work as well here.

I asked a colleague of mine, Vidhyu Rao, who works for a very successful company with many employees from India, what she thought of this phenomenon. She explained it this way:

“This whole behavior gets clear when we understand Edward T. Hall’s model on cultures,” Vidhyu, wrote. “Hall categorizes culture as high context and the low context. Asia, Africa, the Middle East and southern Europe are all high context cultures. The Americas, England, Australia and northern Europe form the low context cultures. Low context cultures rely on spoken and written language for meaning. High context cultures use and interpret more of the elements surrounding the message to develop their understanding of the message.”

It helps to explain the behavior of one very successful Indian company I know. This company clearly recognizes this difference between high context and low context cultures. In fact they have begun to ask their employees to "push back" on their American customers. They have asked me, a communication consultant to them, to stress this in the engagements I have with their employees (to date I have engaged with nearly 700 of them). Understand that the “push back” they refer to, and the one Vidhyu has discussed with me, is not rudely aggressive. Quite the contrary, this company simply asks its employees to articulate opinions and arguments better.

Why would any company want its employees to push back on their American customers? A company with thousands of employees and some of the premier customers in the world can only have one good reason: their American customers have asked them to be more forceful. Their customers have essentially said, "Look, we pay you well to help us do things we can't do for ourselves. We want you to tell us when we're wrong. We don't want you to accept what we say.” Or, as Vidhyu has said, “We do not want you to learn our ways and become one of us. This will not allow us to evolve and improve. It's nice but it doesn't help us. Tell us when we're wrong!" In other words, their clients want to be coached/ pushed back.

But, how do people from a high context cultures, some of which were colonized for centuries, cultures that know how to get along, cultures that are beautiful in their gentleness and passivity, become more aggressive and assertive overnight?

I tell my students from India, China, Thailand, and the other high context cultures to begin by changing their language, particularly their writing, when they communicate with Americans. I tell them to be less passive.

For example, I ask my students this question: who uses passive voice more, Indians and Asians or Americans. They don't hesitate for a second: Indians and Asians! I ask them: Who uses conditional language (should, would, could might), Indians and Asians or American. Again they don't hesitate for a second.

So, I tell them that in my classes I don't want them to use passive voice or the conditional (indecisive) mode of verbs. I want them to say, "We will do this," not "We could do this." I want them to say, "You did not complete the project on time," not "The project was not completed on time."

Then I tell them that I love them, I love their culture, I love their sincerity, their kindness and their goodness. I ask them not to change those things but to change their communication style with Americans, particularly with American business people and especially through their writing. I tell them to push back!

Take this quiz; learn what people are saying.

2009-04-10T16:34:00.000-07:00

A Little Word Quiz

Match the numbers to the letters below. See what America is saying.

1. They were called “little Eichmanns” by Colorado professor, Ward Churchill.
2. They use this ad slogan, “We’re offering our own stimulus package.”
3. This person used “look” 26 times in a one hour span.
4. This person said, “You know,” 235 times in 41 minutes.
5. Discount sales fell “off the map” when Barack Obama said these words.
6. Barack Obama used this word and sales started to pick up.
7. This term identifies 65% of the population who want to “maintain their existing content experiences.”
8. This phrase is typically only understood by people over 50.
9. This phrase has nothing to do with prostitution.
10. This spelling error exists on the Orient Express take out menu.

Match the letters to the numbers above. See how current you are.

A. Massive passives
B. Hope
C. “Beef w. Lobstger sauce over rice”
D. A hard row to hoe
E. "The economy has weakened"
F. Caroline Kennedy
G. Barack Obama
H. Trojan condoms
I. 911 victims
J. On the flip side

Got those all right? Now that you know the new ad slogan for Trojan's condoms (2-H) see if you can match this sentence to its owner: "Fork The Recession!"

A. Julia Child
B. George Bush
C. Eat N Park Restaurants
D. Jerry Seinfeld
E. Colorado Restaurant Association (CRA)

A report in Media Post News calls "Fork The Recession" "decidely edgy" because "tough times call for direct messages." The campaign is funded with $170,000 in integrated media (a mere pittance) and will urge Colorado residents to feed the economic recovery by feeding themselves. You got it! The answer is "E", the CRA.

And, when Barack Obama speaks optimistically, the economy improves (6-G), even if he says "look" too often (3-G), while his supporter (and erstwhile US Senator from New York, Caroline) can't stop from saying "you know" (4-F). Speaking of Barack, we urge him to stop dissing the economy (6-E) because we all know we have a tough road to hoe (those of us over 50 know that has nothing to do with prostitution (9-D) because we've lived on the flip side (9-J).

Oh, and Ward Churchill, the professor from the University of Colorado who sued that institution when it dismissed him after he called the 911 victims "little Eichmanns" just got his job back after the court ruled in his favor (1-I).

So, there you have it - the language being used in America today. Interesting, isn't it?!

No weapons.

2009-04-07T14:47:00.000-07:00

On Saturday morning in Pittsburgh, three police officers, responding to a domestic dispute, were shot and killed. As we learn more about the events surrounding that tragedy, we are told that the mother of the alleged killer told a 911 dispatcher that her son had weapons. Unfortunately, that information was not passed on to the police officers.

According to the Pittsburgh Police, if the officers had known that someone had a gun they would have responded to the dispute with more caution. Fraternal Order of Police President James Malloy, a retired police officer, said in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette, "You approach the house with a different attitude. You approach the house from a distance. You park your car a distance away from the house so you can hit the dirt."

How did such a terrible communication failure happen? In this case the mother of the alleged killer called 911 and spoke to a 911 dispatcher who typed the information she was hearing onto a computer screen. That information was then sent electronically to a police dispatcher, who read it and sent it to the police officers.

Robert P. Harvey, the 911 communications manager, said in the Post Gazette, "When she (the dispatcher) put 'no weapons,' we swear that she meant to put, 'no weapons involved.' " So, we find that three young men lost their lives over one word.

If this only happened rarely, we'd have no reason to be concerned. However, it happens often. A few years ago, for example, two US Marine fighter pilots died when their F16 crashed upon landing. When investigators recovered the plane's flight recorder, they found that the pilots had shut off power to their aircraft just as they were landing. Then, when the investigators listened to the voice recorder, they heard the pilot say to the co-pilot, "Take off power." They listened to that message again and again until it occurred to them that the pilot was trying to tell the co-pilot to accelerate, to use the power that is needed upon take off.

I had a similar experience as Communication Director at a large, urban teaching hospital. One day, the CEO called me into her office to warn me that the organization might be receiving some negative media attention. I asked why and she told me that one of our nurses had killed one of our patients.

"How did that happen?" I asked.

"Well," the CEO said, "the oncologist ordered 350 grams of chemotherapy for a week, and the nurse interpreted that as every day for a week, So, the nurse essentially poisoned the patient on the first day of treatment."

"What you're telling me is that the patient died because of a preposition," I said.

"What are you talking about?" the CEO responded, rather irritably.

"The word 'for'" I said. "The patient died because of the preposition 'for' in that sentence."

"Right," the CEO said, waving me out of her office. "Just make sure you don't say that to the media."

I don't remember what I said to the media, but I'm glad I didn't have to be the one who explained it to the patient's family.

No amount of words can fix what a few words have broken. "Hindsight is 20-20", of course, and we can't know what would have happened if the officers had been told "no weapons involved" instead of just "no weapons." Maybe they would have defended themselves and lived. And, maybe if the nurse had asked the doctor to clarify the message of "350 grams for a week" that patient would still be with us. We'll never know. I do know this, though, I am glad I wasn't the 911 dispatcher who said, "No weapons." That phrase will haunt her for the rest of her life, as it will surely haunt the families of the dead policemen.

Say what?

2009-04-06T18:29:00.001-07:00

I was invited, along with the rest of the CMU community, to attend, in February, an "Intelligence Seminar" on "Intelligent Preference Assessment: The Next Steps?" This was to be led by Craig Boutilier, Professor and Chair, Department of Computer Science, University of Toronto. I didn't make it. I'll tell you why.

Let me give you the first sentences of the invitation:

"Preference elicitation is generally required when making or recommending decisions on behalf of users whose utility function is not known with certainty. Full elicitation of user utility functions is infeasible in practice, leading to an emphasis on approaches that a) attempt to make good recommendations with incomplete utility information; and, b) heuristically minimize the amount of user interaction needed to assess relevant aspects of a utility function."

Got that? Good. Let me know what it means. I was hung up on the first two words and didn't do too well after. I guess my utility function wasn't know with certainty. Maybe it just wasn't functioning.

I put this before you, not because I attempt to make recommendations with incomplete utility function or heuristically minimize the amount of user interaction. I put it before you to show you how not to communicate.

I know, I know, you're going to say that the writing is intended for a technical audience and that the technical audience will understand Dr. Boutilier when he goes on to say, ""Current techniques are, however, limited in a number of ways: (i) they rely on specific forms of information for assessment; (ii) they require very stylized forms of interaction; (iii) they are limited in the types of decision problems that can be handled."

Well, I will respectfully disagree. You see, Dr. Boutilier begins his second paragraph in English. He says, "In this talk, I will outline several key research challenges in taking reference assessments to a point where wider user acceptance is possible. I will focus on three three (sic) current techniques that we're developing that will help move in the direction of greater user acceptance. Each tackles one of the weaknesses discussed above." Kinda sounds human, doesn't it?

Academic writing typically takes the form you see above. The author, desiring greatly to impress his/her colleagues, begins by using the longest words (typically jargon) and longest sentences he/she can imagine. After preening his/her feathers and puffing the pecs, the writer experiences a reality check and writes reasonably understandable language, knowing that if he/she is completely unintelligible, the students may stay away, those who have not been forced to attend by their teachers.

Then, finding himself (or herself) becoming reasonably intelligible, the writer, again conscious that the peers are watching, moves back to more jargon and highfalutin' language. To wit: Dr. Boutilier continues: "The first two techniques allows (sic) users to define 'personalized' features over which they can express their preferences. Users provide (positive and negative) instances of a concept (or feature) over which they have preferences."

This kind of language exists to impress rather than to express. It is used to exclude rather than to include. And, it works beautifully. Fortunately many scientific writers have the confidence not to write this way. They write to express; they write to communicate; they write to include. They craft their writing using plain language that includes short words, short sentences and short paragraphs with only necessary technical language. They strive for a response that says, "I see!" (Imagine a light bulb going on over the reader's head), not a response that says, "Say what?"

BTW, I'm open to anyone who can translate the first sentences for us!

You sent what???

2009-04-05T16:30:00.000-07:00

Did you ever send an e-mail and wish you had it back? E-vidently it's an e-pic problem in higher e-ducation. Check this out from MSNBC:

"New York University officials weren't laughing when hundreds of people mistakenly received word that they'd been accepted to grad school on April Fools' Day. NYU says it sent out acceptance e-mails April 1 to 489 applicants to the Robert F. Wagner Graduate School of Public Service. Those applicants should have received rejection letters instead. The school sent out a second e-mail about an hour later to the applicants, saying they hadn't been accepted after all."

That was April 1, 2009. Now check this story from the day before, March 31, 2009, as reported in the San Diego Union Tribune:

"The University of California, San Diego accidentally sent a welcome e-mail to about 29,000 applicants who had been rejected.The e-mail sent Monday evening invited all 47,000 students who applied to an admitted students' day on campus.UCSD Admissions Director Mae Brown apologized for the mistake Tuesday and explained that the e-mail was supposed to go to about 18,000 accepted students.Less than two hours after the error, she sent out another mass e-mail apologizing for distress it may have caused to anxious applicants and their families, Brown told The Associated Press."

Then we have this from the LA Times about a December 2008 higher e-ducation e-mail accident:

"Northwestern University's Kellogg School of Management said a technological glitch caused erroneous notices of acceptance to be sent to about 50 students who had not been admitted last year."

And, this message of e-ducation e-rror comes from a 2003 report in the New York Times:

"In 2003, Cornell University sent welcoming letters to 1,700 high school students who had submitted early-decision applications, including nearly 550 who had already been rejected in December."

Duke University did the same thing a few years back, as did their neighbor, UNC at Chapel Hill. Are we starting to see a pattern here? Do the academics at our institutions of higher learning not get the picture. Are these people not reading about each other? Is e-mail really that troublesome? Well, yes, of course it is. Why do you think they call it "e-vil mail" and "e-vidence mail"? It gets a lot of people in trouble. We type; we send. We have a brain fart in between.

Certainly this happens e-verywhere, not just in the hallowed halls. So, what's to be done about this modern malady? I see the problem with e-mail this way. We love the speed. We love the power. We need a lag. We need a tool that suspends all e-mail messages so that we can read them again before we send them. You know, examine them for e-vidence of e-diocy and/or stupidity.

E-mail is hyper fast and hyper e-asy. We need something to slow us down. I'm not talking about hours of lag, just minutes. E-ven if we have to wait ten minutes, we will likely reduce the numbers of e-rroneous e-mails by half (and that will cut costs in half). And, these are just the e-mails that don't flame somebody e-lse. For those messages that are dripping with invective, we need to wait a day, at least! We know that e-mail makes shouting and snarling e-asy! It gives us the power of snark! But, it then gives us the resulting guilt and regret. To some of us, it gives infamy.

As for infamy, ask Neal Patterson from the software firm, Cerner, in Kansas City, whose flaming e-mail message to his managers in 2001 caused his company to lose over $300 million of its valuation and landed him in hot water with his shareholders whose stock price fell from $44/share to $30/share in three days. That bonehead e-mail also landed Patterson in the New York Times Technology section and in half a dozen communication text books and thousands of blog posts. I'm guessing, he'd vote for an e-mail lag system. He doesn't e-ver want to hear his shareholders scream at him again, "You sent what??"

It ain't about you!

2009-04-03T13:29:00.000-07:00

Just about every day I have students who ask me to look at their resumes and cover letters. I usually tell them two things about their cover letters: 1) Your cover letter is boring, 2) It talks too much about you. This hurts and puzzles them. Then I explain.

"Look," I say, "you're a great person, but no one really wants to hear about you. If you go down to the local pub and start telling some nice-looking lady or guy how wonderful you are, they'll either pour a beer on your head or run away screaming. But, if you tell them how wonderful they are, watch their eyes light up. Watch them buy you a beer!"

Obviously if you approach someone without the right panache and sincerity, they might still dump a Miller Lite on your cranium. No one wants to be flattered. But they (we) never tire of hearing sincere compliments about ourselves. In the case of a cover letter (and a resume), the recipient wants to know how what you are saying will help them fill some need of theirs, not yours (as in, I need a job!).

So, assuming you've first got the reader's attention (by the way, you can grab their attention in a cover letter by: 1. asking a question, 2. citing a great quote, or 3. telling a brief and interesting story), the next thing you do is tell them how you will fill their needs.

For example, you may begin your cover letter by asking a question, "What does Microsoft want in new hires?" After you ask the question (and have their attention), you give the answer (they be waiting for it). "Microsoft wants dedicated, enthusiastic, energetic, educated and self-motivated engineers." Then, you quote your previous boss, Joe Bagadonuts, who said, "Billy Bob was the most energetic and enthusiastic young guy ever to come to us from CMU." The rest of the letter shows how you understand the needs of Microsoft and highlights the many successes you have had in your young life producing just the kind of outcomes Microsoft requires. In other words, you write about them!

I tell my students that nothing they write is about them - cover letters, resumes, memos, e-mails, reports, RFP - none of it, not even a love letter (especially not a love letter). Anyone who receives a written message of any kind asks 1. why did you write to me, 2. what do you want me to do, 3. why should I care? In other words, they're saying, "Tell me quickly how this message benefits me because I got 230 e-mail messages today, 72 IMs, 43 tweets, 61 telephone calls, 11 letters and a partridge in a pear tree. I'm too busy to screw around."

This is doubly true for someone who is receiving 322 letters and resumes for one job opening. If your letter is one among the multitudes, you need to grab the reader's attention and differentiate yourself , which you can do by writing an interesting cover letter and showing the reader that you understand his/her/the company's needs.

The writing is not about the writer. Who is it about? The Audience. Right, always the audience! Or, as Peter Drucker said, "It is the recipient who communicates. The so-called communicator does not communicate. He utters. Unless there is someone who hears, there is only noise." And, they ain't gonna hear about you if all you talk about is yourself.

Don't add to the noise. Know the reader's needs. Connect with the reader. When you write your cover letter, put yourself inside the reader. Write from the reader's point of view. Remember, whatever you write, "It ain't about you!"

Make your resume more than an obituary.

2009-04-02T15:11:00.001-07:00

As I was on my way to class, a student brought me his resume and asked me to look at it. I did. I told him it looked like an obituary, something they'd write about him in the newspaper after he dropped dead. I told him, as subtly as possible, his resume was one of the most boring I had ever seen. He told me forlornly that he was told to do it that way at career services, just like everyone else. I told him that was a big problem because the world is over saturated with boring messages that clutter our minds and distract us. I told him he needs to cut through that clutter with a focused, and differentiating, message that promises some benefit to the reader.

"How do I do that?" he implored.

"You need to attract the reader's attention," said I, "and create interest and appeal. You need to show the employer QUICKLY, how you can satisfy some need at his/her company. And, while you're at it, you need to differentiate yourself from the rest of the pack. The HR departments are getting 322 resumes for each job and you need to make yourself stick out."

"How do I do that?" he implored.

"You can start," I said, "by writing, not your employment objective, which no one cares about, but a 'Profile,' a profile that says you are everything the employer has ever wanted in an employee."

"How do I do that?" he implored.

"Simple," I said. "Just write something like this: 'An enthusiastic, energetic, self-motivated, CMU-educated engineer with corporate experience and proven outcomes.' Then, create a section called 'Special Accomplishments' and cite some of your more impressive accomplishments. But, make sure they are measurable, that is, show some proven outcomes from some projects you worked on, some results. When employers look at the results you've created for others, they translate them into results you will create for them."

"How do I do that?" he implored.

"Look," I said, "this ain't brain surgery. Take any of your experiences, preferably work experiences, and talk about a 3% increase in volunteers, or a 4% increase in customer satisfaction, or a 7% increase in productivity. Surely you've worked on something, in college or at a job, that attempted to create some results."

He smiled. I thought he might be getting the picture, so I continued, "You need to think of finding a job as a marketing activity, that is, find out what the customer wants and provide it. Or, demonstrate clearly how you can provide it better than the competition, the other 321 people who applied for the same job. Think strategy. Think Michael Porter: be the cost leader, be different, or be focused."

"How do I do that?" he implored. (I was beginning to think he only knew five words.)

"Use the key words that every employer looks for (managed, coordinated, developed, created, and so on), but add the results. And, in the 'Work Experience' section, instead of just writing that you were a coder for Cognizant, talk about Cognizant and its clients. Suppose they worked with IBM, BONY, Coca Cola, and other big brand names. If so, use those words in your resume. Each word carries associations that rub off on you when you use them. Don't talk about yourself in this section; talk about Cognizant, the $20 billion company."

"Oh," he said, the smile widening. I saw that he was beginning to get it.

So, I continued. "Look, kid, these are words on a piece of paper. You can make them boring or interesting. It's your call. You get to pick the words that represent your life, regardless of what career services says. When you choose words with no life, you create an obituary. So, promote yourself as if you were a product. Labor over every word. Give your writing energy and life."

I began to move away from him because I was expected at class, and I felt that I had enlightened him. As I walked down the hall, he hurried to catch up and stepped in front of me. "Will you look at my cover letter?" he asked.

"How do I do that?" I implored. "I have to go teach." He looked downcast and I added with a smile, "But, come see me later. I have lots of opinions about cover letters!"

How do you define 'marketing'?

2009-03-31T14:39:00.000-07:00

Everyone, especially those inside GM, is wondering if GM will "do any marketing" now that it faces a bankruptcy deadline. The ad agencies are especially interested in the question. I'd say it doesn't matter. Those who use the phrase , "do any marketing," are doomed to fail and will live to see the bankruptcy filing. Why? Let's start with Peter Drucker.

Drucker said that a business has only one purpose - to create a customer. Drucker further explained that businesses can only create customers through marketing and innovation.

If Drucker made marketing so important, how did he define it? He said, "A company's primary responsibility is to serve its customers...." That sounds like the guru of marketing, Philip Kotler, who defined marketing as, "sensing, serving and satisfying the wants and needs of customers."

Kotler further expressed his marketing genius in this simple statement, "Marketing begins long before there's ever a product or service." Everyone whose product has failed and who has said, "We didn't market that enough" needs to have Kotler's statement branded on his body somewhere it will always be visible. It will kill two birds with one stone: constantly remind him of the true meaning of marketing and constantly remind him of the origin of branding.

Did GM sense, serve and satisfy the wants and needs of its customers? Evidently not. Or, did Toyota sense, serve and satisfy the wants and needs of GM's customers? Hmm. You may accuse me of 20-20 hindsight, but if customers weren't buying Chevys and GM is now mucking around in a muddy mess, what's the difference?

Through my career in marketing and marketing communications, I heard, every time a product failed, "We didn't market this enough." It made my skin crawl and gave me the anger necessary to lift lots of weights at the local gym. But it also taught me that marketing is not a verb. Let me repeat: marketing is not a verb. I retch when I hear anyone say, "Let's market this" when I know that they mean, "Let's waste a lot more money by throwing at this losing idea more promotions (read: advertising) that no one will ever watch, read or listen to because no one ever wanted or needed this product in the first place."

When I read today that GM wonders how it can survive if it has no money for marketing, I understand sadly that GM will fail, that they need to fail. They have not understood the first rule of marketing: that they must sense (long before there's ever a product), serve and satisfy the wants and needs of their customers. And, oh, by the way, they must differentiate themselves in some meaningful way from their competition (anyone know Michael Porter) while understanding the ways people want to be communicated with, the costs people are willing to absorb, and the conveniences people prefer in order to accept GM's products.

Somewhere along the way GM lost the insights of Peter Drucker, the consultant hired by the legendary Alfred P. Sloan, to study and help GM. Somewhere along the way GM became complacent and proud and bottom-line oriented. But, if anything is constant in life it is change. All organizations, and organisms, must change or die. The new CEO of GM said that the new GM will not be the same as the old GM. It better not be. It must change. As it does so, I suggest they re-invent themselves by, first, using the next 30 days to re-visit Peter Drucker, Philip Kotler and Michael Porter to understand the basics of business again and to learn the true meaning of the word "marketing." Then they can do some branding (the kind I mentioned before).

Write for rhythm, variety, value and shape.

2009-03-30T16:57:00.000-07:00

My good friend, Dennis Moran, the great (really) designer, has identified the similarities between writing and design. He specifically mentioned in a recent post the "...contrast and rhythm, variety of form...value and shape...." that writing and design share.

Just as great graphic design (and other works of visual art) benefit from variety and contrast, writing benefits, as well. I trust I provided an example of that in the last post. And, I promised to provide more today. So, I begin with an unusual sentence style that you do not want to overuse but that will surprise the reader when you use the style well. I call it the "Yoda Sentence Style."

Yoda Sentence Style
This kind of sentence puts its main elements in an inverted style. It typically puts the object at the beginning: "Fighting for their place in the galaxy the rebels are." Does that sound like Yoda? The Yoda sentence may also put the modifiers at the beginning : "At the edge of the galaxy, among the enemies of our cause, preparing for the fight wait Obi-Wan and Anakin." In a business sentence that style might translate into something like this: "At the end of the project, having given their best, living by the promises of our mission, stand our employees, exhausted but unbowed."

Triad Style Sentences
This kind of sentence uses semi-colons to great effect. That is, you write three independent clauses (three groups of words that could stand on their own as independent sentences) and connect them into one compound sentence using semi-colons. If you are Roman, your sentence will look like this: "I came; I saw; I conquered." If you are an ordinary business mortal you might write: "We delivered the highest quality; we sold at the best prices; our customers re-paid us with their loyalty."

Parallel Style Sentences
These kinds of sentences make for easy, and pleasing, reading. They rely on something we discussed before "parallel structure." If you look at this sentence, you will find a parallel series of infinitives ("to + a verb")": "To enhance our market share, to increase our bottom line, to bring more value to our shareholders, we must first identify and satisfy the wants and needs of our customers." Don't you like the rhythm? This kind of sentence also saves space. It prevents: "If we want to increase our market share, we will need to identify the wants and needs...." and so on.

Balanced Style Sentence
Yes, I admit: I'm a Libra. So, I'll always be opting for, and recommending, balanced writing. This style of sentence can be called a compound sentence, that is, it consists usually of two independent clauses joined by a coordinating conjunction. (Whew! This must be transporting you back to 8th grade,) Forget about the sentence names and the grammatical jargon; remember the style. It looks like this: "We did what the customers asked us, and we sold more this quarter than last year." Or, "We did what the customers asked us, but we sold less than last year." (The "coordinating conjunctions" are: and, but, or, nor, for, so, while, yet.)

Well, so much for the grammar lesson. I hope I kept you all the way through. I know you're probably exhausted. You may have pulled your wife's hair or dipped it in the ink well. You may have thrown a spit ball at your kid You may have scratched your invisible acne or your butt the way you did (OK, I did) as an unruly teenager. But, you learned something about variety in your writing. And, I hope you saw that what Dennis said is true: Good writing and good design share contrast and rhythm, variety of form, value and shape.

Try different sentence styles for different effects.

2009-03-29T14:07:00.001-07:00

You can use different sentence styles to build different effects in your writing. For instance, I wrote the paragraphs below after watching my older son, Nicholas, playing in front of the fireplace. I used different sentence styles in each paragraph to make you feel the tension I felt as I watched him maneuver his way around the blocks on the floor in front of him. How did I do?

Staccato Sentence Style
I watched my son Nicholas playing with his blocks and Legos this afternoon. He was building a city for his Bionicles. He had multi-colored blocks and Legos in place on the floor in front of the fireplace in the family room. Sitting in front of his make-believe city, he reached across the landscape to straighten a column and knocked over two blocks. He threw his hands into the air in despair. He picked up the errant blocks and said something under his breath. He leaned forward from the waist to a 50 degree angle. He focused on the blocks. He steadied his hand. He inched a blue square block downward into an open space. He inched a red rectangular block slowly on top of the blue block. He held his breath. He opened his thumb and forefinger. He released the red block. He lifted his hand, quarter inch by quarter inch, from the blocks. The blocks stayed. He sat upright. He let his breath go. He smiled.

If you felt, first, the reportorial style and, second, the tension I felt when watching my son, I succeeded in my purpose by using short, simple sentences. I used a staccato, hammering style - bang, bang, bang, bang - in the last several sentences. In the next paragraph below, I changed the sentence style, connecting several actions to pull you along and make you feel the continuity of my son's efforts and my involvement with his process. Did I succeed?

Continuous Sentence Style
I watched my son Nicholas playing with his blocks and Legos this afternoon, sitting in front of his make-believe city, creating a setting for his Bionicles, multi-colored blocks and Legos stacked in rows on the floor in front of the fireplace in the family room. Reaching across the landscape to straighten a column, he knocked over two blocks, and, throwing his hands into the air in despair, he picked up the errant blocks, while saying something under his breath. Leaning forward from the waist to a 50 degree angle, he focused on the blocks, steadying his hand, inching a blue square block downward into an open space, then inching a red rectangular block slowly on top of the blue block, finally opening his thumb and forefinger, releasing the red block, and lifting his hand, quarter inch by quarter inch, from the red block. The blocks stayed in place and Nickie sat upright, letting his breath go and smiling.

If you look (and count), you'll see that I wrote 19 sentences in the first paragraph and only four in the second. The two paragraphs feel different, don't they? Staccato sentences build one effect; continuous sentences another.

Now, try this; write a continuous sentence and stick a simple sentence immediately after it.

I walked to the bus station in the early morning light while several other people converged behind me near the newspaper stand that had just opened for the morning, its proprietor smiling and greeting us with a wave of his hand. The bus arrived.

Or, try it this way (a simple sentence, followed by a continuous one):

The bus arrived. Several people followed me in the early morning to the curb from the nearby newspaper stand, some looking at the ground to avoid stepping in the puddles of water from the evening's rain, some reaching into their coat pockets for a crumpled bus pass, some simply moving lock-step to the vehicle they used every morning to deliver them to the jobs they didn't enjoy and the settings they detested.

You will see that when you put simple and continuous sentences near each other, the contrast between them creates an interesting effect. In the next post we'll talk about triadic sentences, cumulative and parallel sentences. Isn't this fun?!

Madonna, grammar, and picky, picky people!

2009-03-27T14:56:00.000-07:00

After I aced the "Jumble" in today's "Trib pm," I read a wire story in the same publication from the Associated Press/New York Daily News that Madonna is planning to adopt a second child from Malawi, a southern Africa country. Typically I don't read stories about Madonna; she's so 80's. And, it's not because I don't like Madonna; we just have so little in common.

Anyway, the newspaper story, which talks about how 50-year-old Madonna, who hasn't led what you might call a stable family life (what with Alex and Jesus and Guy), wants to have more children. The story ends with this sentence: "Madonna was hoping to bring home a 3-year-old girl named Mercy, authorities were reticent to send children into 'a broken home,' one official said."

Well, this is one sentence where you want to pull out your grammar penalty flag and throw it at the newspaper. Those of you who have any interest in these things will see that the writer has misused a comma and created what we English teachers call a "comma splice." In other words, the writer split two sentences with a comma instead of joining them with a semi-colon.

OK, so you shout, "Big Deal! It's just a comma!" I'm all right with that. However, I am bothered because the writer used the word "reticent." This word primarily means "quiet, unwilling to talk, uncommunicative." It doesn't fit in the context of the sentence. I'm guessing the writer meant to use the word "reluctant," which means "unwilling, disinclined, averse." In that case, the writer would have written, "...authorities were reluctant (or unwilling, averse, disinclined) to send children into 'a broken home,' one official said."

Do you think I'm being picky?? I don't think I am. All my life I've been told to "choose the right word." Mark Twain said, "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” I agree!

We use words to build sentences, sentences to build paragraphs and paragraphs to build messages. If we use one wrong word in constructing that edifice, the whole thing can collapse. Yes, one word can make all the difference. If you don't believe me, ask David Howard of Washington, DC.

In January, 1999, David Howard, a white aide to Anthony Williams, the African-American mayor of Washington, used the word, "niggardly," in reference to a budget. This upset one of Howard's African-American colleagues who interpreted it as a racial slur and lodged a complaint. As a result of the uproar Howard resigned and Williams accepted the resignation. Howard's friends in the gay community stepped in and insisted on a review. After the review, the mayor offered Howard the chance to return to his position. Howard refused but accepted another position with the mayor.

Does one word matter? Obviously. One word caused David Howard plenty of discomfort, many sleepless nights and much notoriety. It could have been avoided if he had used a more common word or had some inkling of the sensitivities to "niggardly." Or, maybe Julien Bond, who was then the chair of the NAACP, was right when he said, "David Howard should not have quit. Mayor Williams should bring him back — and order dictionaries issued to all staff who need them. Seems to me the mayor has been niggardly in his judgment on the issue."

How to ruin a perfectly good fairy tale.

2009-03-25T14:44:00.000-07:00

Want to ruin a perfectly good fairy tale? Use the passive voice, nominalized verbs, long words, long sentences, long paragraphs, and jargon, like this:

Once upon time as a separation was occurring among three little pigs (in the genus of even-toed ungulates) and their maternal unit, a prowling by a wolf (canis major) was taking place in their vicinity. The pigs were being sent away by their maternal unit who had advised them of certain growth opportunities relative to the separation, a decision which the pigs accepted. A further decision by the pigs concerning a separation involving individual living headquarters was rendered by the three pigs after some dialogue and introspection (it is unknown if they sought additional third-party consultation). In any event, after having sourced the appropriate construction materials, and after due diligence and legal consideration, and in due time, the first pig, who had been attracted to the concept of organic, sustainable living, saw his house completed of an organic material, herein after referred to as “straw.” After some further period of time, the aforementioned carnivore, i.e., canis lupus, with an insatiate appetite, happened upon the dwelling of the pig and attempted to gain entry thereat. His subsequent accomplishment of that effort resulted in the satisfaction of his hunger impulses, i.e., the first pig was consumed by the carnivore. Meanwhile, in a second action, another dwelling was being constructed, of an unidentified species of sticks, and in compliance with local zoning ordinances, in a setting removed from that of the first pig. It might be ascertained by the attentive reader that the result of the second visit of the wolf culminated in an outcome similar to that of the first pig, that is, death by mastication and ingestion. (It must be mentioned, parenthetically, at this juncture, that each exchange between wolf and pig featured strident phrases, in a dialogue of highly emotional exchange, namely the wolf’s exhortation, "Little pig, little pig, let me in", the pig’s subsequent retort, "Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin" and finally, in a fit of pique, the wolf’s rejoinder, "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down," which he accomplished in due time.) Because his hunger had not been sated, the wolf sought the whereabouts of the third pig, also for purposes of mastication and ingestion. It happened that the third pig’s dwelling had been fabricated of blocks of ceramic material commonly used in masonry construction and usually laid using mortar. Seeking to replicate the successes he had experienced with the sibling pigs, i.e., the destruction of their domiciles to gain access to their persons, the wolf summoned the full force of his diaphragm and expelled a great amount of air, as he had done previously in the direction of the dwelling, as has been noted in this case, a ceramic and mortar dwelling. This action was repeated several times by the wolf to no effective end, whereupon he resolved to gain access by accessing the topmost aspect of the structure and repelling down the vertical outlet used for venting hot flue gases. His success at that action ironically resulted in his ultimate undoing, i.e., his fall into a cauldron of boiling water eventually led to his demise, and to the further irony of his being consumed by the very prey he had preyed upon.

You may use passive.

2009-03-23T18:15:00.001-07:00

I suggest you avoid passive most of the time, especially in business writing. But, as we said in the previous post, many people prefer passive voice when they must discipline employees. On these occasions, they say, "The report was not completed on time" as opposed to "You did not complete the report on time."

In any event, consider using the passive in these circumstances, as well:

1)When you don't know who did the action.
2)When the readers don't care who did the action.
3)When the receiver of the action is more important than the doer.
4)When you don't want the reader to know who did the action.

In the case of #1, a passive sentence in the newspaper might read, "Last night valuable records from the Social Security offices in downtown Altoona were stolen." No one knows who did the action.

As for #2, a newspaper sentence might read, "Valuable records should always be kept locked in a safe." No one cares who's going to lock them.

With #3 above, a sentence in the Altoona Mirror might read, "Guard Julio O'Brian was shot last night as he fought to protect valuable records that were being stolen at the Social Security office." Julio is the important character in this drama.

And, for #4, a sentence might read, "Mayor Lester Fester was rumored to have considered resigning over the lack of security at the Social Security office which was recently burgled." The person who started the rumor does not want to be identified.

Passive has its uses, as you can see. But, again, when you want action, which is the case with most business writing, you are well advised to prefer the active voice. Or, you may end up with the kind of stuff you read in the previous post (to which I add some more humdingers that just occurred to me):

Patrick Henry's famous cry, "I will be given liberty or I will be given death by you."

George H W Bush, "Allow my lips to be read by you- no new taxes."

Some other well meaning presidential hopeful, "Your pain is felt by me."

The passive just doesn't rally the troops, does it?

Use passive; lose power.

2009-03-22T10:05:00.001-07:00

We were talking about words having power. Today we talk about words losing power - in the passive voice.

Let's take a look at some memorable and powerful words re-written, not in the active voice with the subject doing the action, but in the passive voice with the receiver of action in the subject position. Let's begin with an easy one - the slogan of a brand name that will be quite familiar to you:

Nike slogan (re-written in the passive voice): "It must be done by you!" Can you see that on billboards around America? Doesn't have the same ring to it as "Just do it!", does it? How about naming a movie, that has just been released, in the passive voice:

Movie (in the passive voice): "You are loved by me, man!" Doesn't grab you? How about, "I love you, man."

You may find your escape in movies while others find their escape in drugs. To them we suggest, "No, should be said by you to drugs!" That's a lot for a bumper sticker, isn't it? It will obviously work less well than, "Just say no to drugs," which didn't work that well anyway.

But, it is good advice, isn't it? "Just say no to drugs." The subject is "you understood," the action verbs is "say" and the object is "no." Simple. Just like this time-honored good advice, "The consumption of an apple a day by you, and the doctor will be kept away by the apple." Too passive for your taste? Me, too. I prefer the power of Subject-Action Verb-Object, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

If you're like the rest of us, we remember certain advertising slogans better than we remember important birthdays. Does anyone remember this slogan: "The Charmin must not be squeezed by you"? No? Well then, do you remember this popular McDonald's message, "It is being loved by me"? No? How about this 80's McDonald's slogan, "A break is deserved by you today"? I'm sure you don't. It just doesn't stimulate the way this active voice message did, "You deserve a break today", which, by the way, has to be one of the best ad slogans of all time (who among us does not believe he or she deserves a break today).

Perhaps because we all want a break, we think less about what we might do for others. You may remember that John F. Kennedy asked us in his inaugural address to do something. In the passive voice I translate his inaugural request thus, "The question should not be asked what can be done for me by my country. The question should be asked what can be done by me for my country." Does that inspire you?

One of the masters of inspiration, Martin Luther King, Jr., stood in front of the reflecting pool in Washington, DC, and told the world, "The mountain has been visited by me!" Wait, that wasn't it, was it?! No, I think he said, "I've been to the mountain." And, Winston Churchill motivating the British during WW II, said, "We will fight on the land, on the seas, in the towns...." When he wanted to move and inspire his audience, he used the active voice, as did JFK and Martin Luther King, Jr.

So, when you want your words to have force and power, use active voice. Remember, though, that passive voice has useful functions, especially to avoid confrontation. But, if you're testifying before a grand jury and you want your peers to believe you, don't say, "Sexual relations with that woman were not had by me." Even if it's not true, you're better off using active voice!

Do words have power?

2009-03-20T17:14:00.000-07:00

How about the power of these two words - "Special Olympics". You can bet Barack Obama knows their power and wishes he had never used them. And he should. He messed up big time when he said his White House bowling resembled the Special Olympics. Now he needs to apologize, very sincerely.

Last October, some poll workers in New York apologized to Barack when they issued an absentee ballot with the words "Barack Osama." Seems even one letter can do damage, let alone one or two words.

Just ask the Iowa community college that this January invited its students to a "Linch and Learn" for Black History Month. Think they had to apologize? How about grovel?

Once when I worked in corporate communications at the Pittsburgh Mercy Health System, we sent hundreds of brochures to EMT's in western Pennsylvania inviting them to a Grand Rounds at Mercy Hospital. Unfortunately, the hundreds of brochures said, "Ground Rounds." You think I didn't hear about that?!

Words have tremendous power to inflict damage, cause joy, motivate the masses. Anybody remember the word, "Change"? How about "Maverick"? Certainly the first of these words helped to propel one of its owners into the White House while the other helped to keep its owner out.

In a memoir, Henry Kissinger reported an incident during the Viet Nam War when the Department of Defense authorized a foray into North Viet Nam to rescue American POW's from a prisoner of war camp. They sent a force to the camp at great cost and risk, despite a coded message from inside the camp saying that the camp was "closed". The DOD decided, because they really wanted to carry out the mission, that the word "closed" meant that the gates were locked. In fact, according to Kissinger, when rescuers got to the camp, they found it was empty.

New York real estate tycoon Larry Silverstein owned a 99 year lease on the World Trade Center Complex. He also owned an insurance policy that said he would be paid $3.5 billion for any terrorist "event" that damaged the complex. After 911 he sued for $7 billion, claiming that the complex was the victim of two "events." Guess what? He convinced the judge that 911 damage to the WTC was two separate events. He was awarded the $7 billion, not a bad return on his $15 million investment.

Yes, words have mystery and power. You know that when you name your child, when you say the name of the person you love, when you say Jesus or Mohamed or Buddha, when you say the two words, "I do" or "I quit" or words like"wop" or "kike" or when you tell a bad joke. You especially know the power of words when you have been politically incorrect, as our president has certainly been. If you or I made his mistake on national television, we'd certainly lose our job. Ask Tommy Lasorda and Don Imus.

Barack won't lose his job, but he needs to apologize, quickly. He said some bad words. We've all done it, probably harmlessly, as Barack no doubt did. But, we need to be ever vigilant with our language, remembering that words have power, whether we intend, or do not intend, the interpretation that has been made of them. Like EMT's going to meetings at the Ground Rounds restaurant!

Hiding behind passive voice.

2009-03-19T09:12:00.000-07:00

Did you see Edward Liddy's, letter to America? Edward is CEO of AIG. Right, that AIG. The company that's being called, "Arrogant, Incompetent, and Greedy." I read the letter in the Washington Post yesterday. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/03/17/AR2009031703019.html?referrer=emailarticle

The letter, entitled, "Our Mission at AIG: Repairs and Repayment," reads reasonably well - with one glaring exception. Edward says in the first sentence of the third paragraph, "Mistakes were made at AIG, and on a scale that few could have imagined possible."

Edward obviously has not read a revealing little book by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson, entitled, "Mistakes Were Made (but not by me) Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts." In their instructive book Tavris and Aronson show us in the first pages how culprits - corporate and otherwise - use the passive voice to hide their responsibility or to hide the responsibilities of others.

For example, the book cites a statement by Henry Kissinger on the Viet Nam War, "Mistakes were quite possibly made by the administration in which I served." Oh yeh, Henry, quite possibly about 58,000 mistakes. Also, the book cites Cardinal Edward Egan of New York discussing child molestation, "If, in hindsight, we also discover that mistakes may have been made...I am deeply sorry." Let's not even go there.

Passive voice has its purposes. For instance, it helps people avoid confrontation. You may want to write, "The report was not completed on time" as opposed to "You did not complete the report on time." When you use the passive voice in that instance, the person who failed to complete the report will feel less threatened. Or, you may not want to name the doer of the action for fear of recrimination, ala, "The CEO was rumored to have been arrested at a previous job." You don't want to be named as the person who started that rumor.

Because we use business writing for action, I advise you to prefer the active voice - the subject does the action; the object receives the action. Prefer the active voice especially when you must admit your error. Although Edward Liddy clearly states that he wasn't at AIG when the troubles began (he says he has "answered the call" to lead AIG in September 2008), he needs to name the people who share responsibility for AIG's colossal blunders. We need names; we need culprits; we need to know that the mess was created by humans and was, in effect, avoidable, else we fear that we are all victims of chance.

And, while he's at it, Edward can stop calling these colossal errors in judgment, "missteps." They weren't missteps, they were colossal blunders. We don't need euphemism on top of passive construction. Edward is right, however, when he says that AIG's mistakes were "on a scale that few could have imagined possible." But, we need the mistakes to be made imaginable! For that we need to know who made them. We don't learn that when we read, "Mistakes were made."

Women do!

2009-03-18T17:17:00.001-07:00

In answer to yesterday's question, "Who uses "conditional" language more, men or women?" Women do! Why?

Women are more collaborative. They communicate to build relationships; whereas, men communicate for power and position. These differences are cited in the work of Deborah Tannen. I have pasted some of her findings here:

MEN
Talk to emphasize status
Talk to preserve independence
Talk to separate and differentiate
Talk to control and offer solutions
Talk more directly
Talk to boast
Consider indirectness “sneaky”
Avoid apology; consider it “weak”

WOMEN
Talk to create connection
Talk to create intimacy and closeness
Talk to seek and give confirmation
Talk to connect (not to solicit advice)
Talk more indirectly
Talk to achieve balance
Consider indirectness “less aggressive”
Apologize readily to “restore balance”

(“You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation,” D. Tannen, Ballantine Books, NY, 1991)

So, it is not unusual to hear a woman say, "We could discuss the budget at our Tuesday meeting." Or, it is not unusual to have her write a similar sentiment in an e-mail message. She'll use the "would, could, should, may, and might" words because she wants connection and balance. She knows she can achieve that with indirect language.

Likewise, the fine people from the Orient and from India will address you in the same way. They truly do want consensus and balance. But, as I suggested, it can work against them in a culture such as American business. In fact, one of my clients with a large Indian workforce told me to encourage its employees to "push back" on their clients. When they said "push back," they meant be more assertive, more direct. And, why does this company want their employees to push back on their customers? Well, for only one legitimate reason - their customers want them to push back. They don't want them rolling over all the time.

Now, having said that women and Orientals and Indians use the conditional more than everyone else, I must add that this is true in general. Certainly, many women have a more masculine approach to communication and many Oriental and Indian business people don't roll over for anyone. But, on the whole, these stereotypes fit.

What's the takeaway, as they say? Watch your language. Watch your word choice. Examine your messages. If you find yourself using "would, could, should, may and might," think about the context and your objectives. You could be using the wrong words; you might just want to change; you may find yourself with more respect in which case you should change. If you do, I know you would thank me!

Avoid the conditional.

2009-03-17T17:51:00.000-07:00

OK, here's a quiz that'll take you back to 8th grade, or as they say in India, 8th form. Name three "modes" of a verb. I'll give you a hint: you can also call them "moods" of the verb. Think now. Morph yourself back to junior high school English class or middle school. Remember those days? Pimples. Hair on your body in places you never had it before. OK. Give up?

All verbs have mode (also called mood), as well as tense, number, and person. The mood reflects the approach you give the verb, that is, indicative, imperative or subjunctive (which many people call "conditional"). The first mood, indicative mood, makes a statement. "I am going to the meeting this afternoon." Imperative mood states a command, "Go to the meeting for me this afternoon." And, the subjunctive mood, which is a little more complicated, often states a condition, leading many people to call it by that term. It could look like this, "If you go to the meeting, would you represent me?"

In this post let's consider the subjunctive mood only. Subjunctive verbs can express a wish and a requirement, but let's just examine the conditional aspect. In this form, the verbs often use these helping verbs: would, could, should, may, and might. I recommend that business writers avoid them. Why? Simply because they suggest indecisiveness.

No executive or group of executives that entrust important studies or proposals to you are going to be satisfied if you report back to them that, "We should consider a merger with Widget, Inc." Even less compelling is the statement, "We might merge with Widget, Inc." No, they want to hear you say, "I recommend that we merge with Widget, Inc." or "I recommend that we avoid Widget, Inc. at all costs." Conditional is too conditional.

OK, here's another quiz. Who uses conditional verbs more, Americans or Asians? Right, Asians use it more often. It's part of the culture. And, when I say Asians, I am also including people from India. I have grown to love all things India, mostly because of my work at Carnegie Mellon University where I have taught hundreds of young people from India and also from my association with a great young company called Cognizant. Over the past ten years I have found the people from India to be the most generous and deferential people I have ever met. And, imagine, I have been teaching them to be less deferential and to stop using the conditional mood so often. Why because it makes these very learned, intelligent people seem unsure of their their recommendations.

Here's your last chance to get an Ed Barr quiz right tonight. Who uses conditional verbs more often, men or women. That's a loaded question, you say! Perhaps. But, let me know what you think. Do men or women use the conditional form of the verb more often? Which gender, on the whole, loads its writing and speaking with "could, would, should, may, might"? If you're really feeling grammatical and communicative, tell also us why the gender you chose uses conditional verbs more often. Above all, though, if you're married and you debate this, don't go to bed mad! That's an imperative!

Avoid "It is...." and "There are...." sentences.

2009-03-16T15:05:00.000-07:00

Suppose you see this sentence, "It is to be expected that we write better." You might legitimately ask, "What is to be expected?" You might ask that because "It" is a pronoun and pronouns need antecedents or references.

I suggest you avoid beginning any sentence with "It is...." Even the harmless, "It is raining" bothers me. But, not so much as some of these other forms:

"It is possible that...,"
"It is significant that...,"
"It is obvious that...,"
"It should be noted that...,
"It it essential that...,"

and the many other forms that writers, especially bureaucratic writers, use.

This metadiscourse has been rightly called "throat clearing" because it adds nothing to a communication, just as a literal throat clearing before speaking adds nothing to the substance of a remark. When these written forms are used, they delay a message and often confuse a reader.

In a similar way, "There are...." sentences confuse readers. Take this sentence, for example, "There was an attempt to implement an activity in direct opposition to the wishes of the management." This will trouble readers for several reasons.

For one thing, we readers are unable to quickly find the subject of the sentence. The writer either doesn't know who is attempting to do something or wants to disguise the fact. This is troubling because readers want to know what is being affirmed in a sentence and they want to know about whom the action is being affirmed. In other words, they want to know the verb and the subject.

Also, readers in the West, as opposed to those in Arab or Chinese societies, read from left to right. In so doing, they like to see the sentence pattern "S-V-O" (even though they may not be consciously aware of it). That is, they want to see the subject of a sentence in front of the verb, not behind it. Any time you write a "There is (or) There are, (or) There will be...." sentence, you will put the subject after the verb.

And, speaking of the verb, if you write a "There are...." sentence, you will have used a "being verb" and we agreed in a previous post that "action verbs" work better in sentences, especially in business writing where we write for action. If you examine my "There are...." sentence above, you will also see that "attempt" and "opposition" are "nominals," that is, verbs that have been turned into nouns(see previous post). These are weakened verbs.

If you are going to attempt something, attempt it. Don't make an attempt. Use action verbs in S-V-O sentences. If someone is opposing something, have them oppose it. Don't put them in opposition. After all, it is better to hit the reader over the head with action because there are so many other things out there competing for their attention. Get it?!

How long is yours?

2009-03-15T17:04:00.000-07:00

Sentence! How long is your sentence? (What were you thinking, Dennis?)

Writing is the one time you want "shrinkage." Consider this report from the Kansas City Star regarding its research on sentence length: "When reading sentences of 15 words or less, readers can comprehend 90% of what they’ve read. When reading sentences of 25 words or more, they comprehend only 62% of what they’ve read."

Yep, small is beautiful. If you write short sentences, readers will understand what you've written. Go above 25 words and they don't get it.

The renowned teacher of writing, Rudolph Flesch, had (something like) this to say about sentence length, "Sentences with 8 words or less are very easy to read. Those with 11 words or less are easy to read. Those with 14 words or less are fairly easy to read. Sentences with 21 words or less are fairly difficult to read. Those with 25 words or less are difficult to read and those with 29 words or more are very difficult to read."

What kind of writing is very difficult? Try this: "The Project implementation completion commenced in January and installation was accepted in November, or approximately 11 months to completion instead of the mandatory seven for a variety of reasons, among which the high turnover of top-level staff (including the Project manager) occupied a major role." Huh? Run that by me again.

What kind of writing is easiest? Comic strips. Why? They are mostly dialogue written in a small frame. What is easy? Danielle Steel. What is fairly easy? John Grisham. What is very difficult? "Scientific American." Should you write comics in business? I doubt it. But, you should also not write "Scientific American," unless you're writing to a bunch of scientific Americans.

So what is standard? 17 words. And, what publication typically models the standard? Right! The newspaper! When you write, model the newspaper. Use short words, short sentences, and short paragraphs. Don't worry about having a long one, sentence that is. Go for the 8 to 17 word sentence. You'll make your readers very happy!

Words of Wisdom!

2009-03-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

Albert Einstein said, "Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler."

Leonardo Da Vinci said, "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."

Jack Welch said, “Insecure managers create complexity...People must have the self-confidence to be clear and precise… (but)you can’t believe how hard it is for people to be simple, how much they fear being simple. They worry that if they’re simple, people will think they’re simple-minded. In reality, of course…clear, tough-minded people are the most simple.”

Ram Charan and Larry Bossidy said, “Along with having clear goals, you should strive for simplicity in general…leaders who execute…speak simply and directly. They talk plainly and forthrightly about what’s on their minds (and) know how to simplify things so that others can understand them, evaluate them, act on them, so that what they say becomes common sense.”

But, of course, the world is awash with the following kind of talk: “We harness deep industry process and technology expertise and unrivaled large-scale, complex change capabilities. We seamlessly integrate consulting and outsourcing capabilities across the full cycle of business transformation. We leverage our proprietary assets and global delivery network for quality, speed, an lower costs.” (Accenture Annual Report discussing their “differentiation” in the marketplace) Say that again?!

And, of course, it's not just business that writes that way. You may remember William Jefferson Clinton and his testimony to an attorney, regarding a certain Lewinsky woman:

Attorney: “…the statement (made by your counsel) that there was ‘no sex of any kind in any manner, shape, or form with President Clinton’ was an utterly false statement. Is that correct?”

President Clinton: “It depends upon what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is. If the – if he – if ‘is’ means ‘is and never has been and is not’ – that is one thing. If it means there is none, that was a completely true statement.” (Grand Jury investigation)

Well, maybe we can forgive Billy Boy because during his administration he also sent an executive memorandum to all branches of government telling them they had to write with "Plain Language."

And, what is "Plain Language." It is simple, clear, concise and coherent writing. It uses "you" and other pronouns, it prefers active voice, it uses strong action verbs, and it prefers short words, short sentences and short paragraphs. In other words, it is simple! It is tough-minded. It is direct. And in its simplicity it is sophisticated. It doesn't depend on what the meaning of "is" is!

What's the agenda?

2009-03-12T15:13:00.000-07:00

Don't you just hate it when you go to a meeting and the leader has no agenda (or worse yet, no one leads the meeting)!

At those times, the discussion usually goes something like this:

Leader: Thank you for coming this afternoon. I want to talk about our new project for the Widget Company.

Person 1: Do you think they're going to make it through this recession, Bill?

Person 2: I have a friend who works over there who says she's concerned.

Person 1: She should be concerned, Carol. This economy sucks.

Person 3: Speaking of the economy, Bob, did you guys see that Madoff will be spending the rest of his life behind bars?

Person 4: He deserves it. They should put all those criminals in Alcatraz.

Person 2: Alcatraz? Have you ever visited there? I did last summer when Henry and I went to San Francisco for his 20th high school reunion.

Person 1: 20th? You're kidding?! He doesn't look a day over 25.

Person 2: He's taking those new vitamin supplements and getting facials.

And on and on it goes, spiraling ever so far away from the point of the meeting until the leader out of exasperation corrals all the cattle and herds them back to the barn.

Even at those times when agendas exist, weak leaders let meetings spiral out of control. Why? Most people fear they will hurt someone's feelings by cutting them short or saying, "That's nice, but we're here to talk about the project with the Widget Company. You can discuss your trip to San Francisco and your vitamin supplements after the meeting."

I know, that sounds tough, but the word "agenda" comes from the Latin "agere" meaning "to do," so having a meeting and having an agenda suggest that something get done as a result of both. Otherwise, you and some other reasonably high paid people will have wasted time and money.

If you want to avoid the kind of scenario I created above, do this. First, decide if you must meet at all. These days with virtual options like wikis, blogs and google groups, people can come together virtually. However, even if you decide to meet virtually, you must create an agenda. When you have created the agenda, circulate it before the meeting and ask for opinions.

What does a good agenda look like? Basically it's a strategic plan for a meeting. You need to think of the people (who), the topics/outcomes (what), the timing (when), venue (where) and process (how). As for the "what" of the meeting, the topics/outcomes, I suggest you limit your discussion to one main topic. Many managers stuff agendas with more topics than they can possibly discuss. These are the managers who hoard information because they know that knowledge is power, or they have few meetings because (of all things) they feel uncomfortable interacting with others, especially in large groups where they might be vulnerable. So, they hold information and dispense all of it in one sitting. These meetings become interminable.

A manager who holds information or feels uncomfortable with people simply shouldn't be managing. But, we all know that these kinds of managers exist. So, what do we do about it? I say, manage the agenda! That's right; take the power!

If no agenda exists, go to the white board or flip chart and suggest one. If an agenda exists with too many items, ask that it be limited. If the discussion spirals, which it almost assuredly will, step in and bring it back on point. And, above all, make certain that everyone knows his/her part in the meeting, especially what actions each person must accomplish. Either that or you will see people nodding, doodling, blackberrying and later complaining about what a colossal waste of time that was.

Meetings sometimes offer the only process for accomplishing business activities. They can be effective if they begin with a strong agenda, one where everyone knows his/her part and expectation, and if they stay on topic. Otherwise, you're going to hear a lot more about Henry's facials.

What are your e-mail "pet peeves?"

2009-03-11T16:27:00.000-07:00

I am indebted to my good friend Dennis Moran, one of the finest graphic designers in America, for stimulating this discussion. Dennis asked that I address failures of e-mail etiquette in my blog and I can't think of a better time to do it. So, let's start with Dennis's pet peeves. Says Dennis:

"I have a few pet peeves related to e-mail use that maybe you could address to your global audience.

1. People who don't respond when you send them something. I'm talking specifically about clients who NEVER respond, when I send them PDFs of design work, or invoices, even though I ask for confirmation of receipt, just so I know that they got it (mailer-deamon does alert us to most undeliverable mail, but not all).

2. People who refuse to use even an abbreviated letter format in e-mail. They just respond. No "Hi Big Boy" or "Hello Sweet Cheeks"...they just start typing, often in all lower case, and often with serious spelling errors.

3. Responding to a phone message with an e-mail--immediately after NOT answering the call. Hey, e-mail is great, but there are some things which are better handled with conversations particularly when immediate responses are important.

4. Related to No. 1.--Don't assume that just because you sent an e-mail, that it was received. There are hundreds (OK, at least 10) reasons why the e-mails that are sent are not necessarily received: server error, mailbox full, etc.

PS: here's another one: always include an e-mail signature with full contact info--it makes it extremely easy for people to find your phone number and address in an instant without searching a database."

Dennis has not only identified some of the errors of e-mail etiquette, but he has also done it with a great sense of humor! And, I wholeheartedly agree with him on each point. To those I add some of my own:

1.) I routinely receive e-mails with no subject line. I encourage my students to use the subject line to abbreviate the entire message. For instance, I will write to business colleagues and say in the subject line, "We need to meet this week." If you can, always use an action verb in the subject line, especially in business where you communicate for action.

2.) I routinely receive e-mails with NO MESSAGE, just attached assignments from students. I ask them to say something, anything, even if it means sharing a little-known fact or interesting quote. If nothing else, they might say, "I have attached my assignment." No one likes wordy e-mails, but no one likes blank e-mails, either.

3.) I routinely receive e-mails disguised as text messages, complete with text acronyms (or perhaps I should say incomplete), spelling errors, and a casual tone not appropriate for business.

So, tell us, what are your e-mail "pet peeves?" What steams your windows? Jump into the fray!

Prefer one and two-syllable words.

2009-03-10T17:10:00.000-07:00

I am not asking you to become dumb. I'm asking you to see the beauty and power in simple language. For example, many writers have cited the following two-word sentence as among the most powerful statements in the English language: "Jesus wept." It surely works better than "Jesus became lachrymose." Yet, many teachers would have us write the latter way, many of our college teachers, especially. Using big words is almost a rite of passage in graduate school.

Speaking of rites, I went to my son Alex's first reconciliation tonight. It prepares him for his first Holy Communion after Easter. Many of you remember the rite of reconciliation. For several weeks in CCD you were prepared to meet alone with a priest, face-to-face, for the very first time to tell him of your grievous sins. What could they be, you wondered? I smacked my brother, Nicky, and called him a bozo. Is that a sin? You probably weren't sure and had to be coached on your sins.

You also had one of life's biggest words foisted on you: reconciliation. What a mouthful. I'm guessing that you didn't understand it and I'm also guessing that the church uses this word because of its power to impress people (I hesitate to say intimidate them). But it's a long one, isn't it? Six syllables. Re-con-cil-i-a-tion. Two affixes. One prefix.

We who have been to college have stored a basketful of such words, typically so that we can use them in our writing. We almost never use them in our speech. We don't use them because they won't work in our speech, even with the advantages that spoken English gives us over written English, that is, body language, voice inflection, gestures and the occasional grimace.

So, why do we use them in our writing? We have been taught to impress the reader, that's why. We need to be learned (accent on the "-ed"). We, therefore, tell our associates about the implementation of the specifications toward a resolution of the interferences in the granular processes. And, when a plain-spoken CEO comes along, someone like Jack Welch, and rattles everyone with his bluntness, we call him a genius.

For instance, Welch once said that if a business unit at GE wasn't number one or two he would, "...fix it, close it, or sell it." Anyone not understand that? He said, "If you're not in Germany, you're not in Europe, and if you're not in Asia, you're nowhere." Any questions? If "Neutron Jack" were evaluating an employee, he wouldn't call it a "reconciliation." It would be more like "rank and yank."

In any event, although my son Alex may not understand the word "reconciliation," he and his God have been "brought together" as the word originally meant it Latin. And, he is happy.

Do you metaphor?

2009-03-09T14:52:00.000-07:00

Warren Buffett does. And, he did today. He called our struggling economy an "economic Pearl Harbor."

I'm a big fan of metaphor, and of Warren, especially his writing, but he blew it on this one. While I agree that the economy stinks and that it has "fallen off a cliff," as Warren also added in his interview with CNBC, giving us what might be called an absolute metaphor, we needn't blame the Japanese, or some other sneaky enemy, for this economy.

You may recall, if you have any gray hair at all, that years ago when they were a martial nation, the Japanese attacked American military installations at Pearl Harbor, staging one of the all-time, most successful, military sneak attacks in history, putting much of our navy out of commission. (Had we done it, we'd still be talking about what a great military achievement it was.) Anyway, Warren's Pearl Harbor metaphor doesn't work for me.

What is a metaphor? The word "metaphor" comes to us from the Greek where it means "transfer." Metaphors transfer meaning. They describe a first subject as being similar to a second subject (without using like or as). In so doing, they transfer the meaning of the first subject to the second. For example, when a Shakespearean actor says, "All the world's a stage," he is comparing our everyday activities, our daily strutting and fretting, with the acting that occurs on a stage. If we're honest with ourselves, that metaphor works. We all strut and fret, alternately wearing and discarding masks to suit our immediate needs.

But, is this economy like Pearl Harbor? Not from what I can gather. At its core, Pearl Harbor will always stand for a ruthless sneak attack for which the victims were unprepared. No one sneaked up on us in this fiasco, certainly not a wartime enemy, especially not the Japanese. No, this time we had our heads buried in our fears, our complacency, and our greed. We don't need to rehash the failures of Iraq, General Motors, or the banks of America to prove that statement. But, the secondary parts of the Pearl Harbor metaphor seem to work. Let's look at them.

Pearl Harbor required all Americans to unite behind a government that had identified a common enemy. Pearl Harbor required that all Americans sacrifice personal pleasures and re-tool industry so as to produce the arms of war. Pearl Harbor involved every family in America, rich and poor. Pearl Harbor gave us an opportunity to prove our courage and resiliency. These also fit our current economic circumstances. But, again, they do not inform the central element of the metaphor, the sneak attack.

If Pearl Harbor as a metaphor doesn't fit snugly, what metaphor does? Perhaps Warren hit it better, while mixing metaphors, when he said the economy had "fallen off a cliff." We can't say it was "pushed off a cliff" because then we'd have to blame the the Taliban, or Toyota, or George Bush, or somebody.

No, we best say the economy "fell off a cliff" because we Americans and the people we elected and the people they appointed allowed the economic vehicle to drift driverless down the road for a few years before it dropped precipitously off the cliff. That took years of gradual theft and collusion and ignorance. When the big drop came, Warren is right, it came with the suddenness of a Pearl Harbor. It brought an immediate loss of footing, accompanied by extreme and frightening vertigo, and the painful uncertainty we now suffer.

Yes, Warren was right about the fall. What frightens me is that the car is still falling, we haven't heard the crash yet or watched the fuel erupt into a fireball. Only then can we lower ourselves to the bottom of the ravine to identify the broken, charred, and mangled bodies. Only then can we determine how to re-assemble the car, or trash it. Only then can we begin to rehabilitate the victims. How's that for a metaphor?!

Show, don't tell.

2009-03-08T16:40:00.000-07:00

Any good writing teacher will give you this sage advice: Show, don't tell. I, too, offer those words of wisdom! Apply them to everything you write.

For example, suppose I write this sentence: "My ten-year old sister is very fast!" That sentence tells; it doesn't show. How do you make those words show? Well, you might say, "As a garbage truck passed our house, my ten-year old sister raced it to the corner of our block. She took off in her brand new, white Nikes, her braided pigtails flying, and she beat that truck by two garbage truck lengths! The trash men whooped and hollered all the way, telling their driver to 'step on it!'"

Or, you might write, "My girlfriend really loves me." Again, this is a tell sentence. How can you make it show? You might write: "My girlfriend handed me two 40-yard line Steeler tickets for the Cleveland Browns game and asked me to take my brother. Then, before she drove away, she handed a six pack of Iron City beer out her car window and drove away saying, 'Have a great time, honey!'" Here in Pittsburgh that would be called "true love!"

How does this concept apply to business writing? For one thing, it applies directly to resumes. As I have reviewed hundreds of resumes written by my students, I typically see language like this: "Coordinated a team of project engineers for the installation of customer relations management software at Widget International."

That sentence will provide more meaning and create more impact it if says, "Coordinated a team of seven project engineers in a three-week engagement at Widget International of Buffalo, NY, to install customer relations software and increase customer satisfaction scores by 11.5%."

When you tell, you rob the reader of scene, story, and outcome. When you show, you give the reader the scene, story and outcome. Every sentence we write may not include an outcome but everything we write is story. We introduce ourselves to a potential client and we tell a story. Better yet, we introduce ourselves to a potential client, and we evoke their story! We listen to their story. Then, after we understand our clients' needs, we share our stories; we build narratives that show how we have benefited some other customer. This works especially well in cover letters or executive summaries to RFP's.

So, if you're trying to sell your services to a customer or even sell yourself as a potential date, especially in writing, show, don't tell.

Vary sentence length.

2009-03-07T13:40:00.000-08:00

Vary sentence length and pattern, not just in your writing but in your speeches. Create a rhythm that ebbs and flows.

Use short sentences, as I have said before. But don't bore the reader or listener with "See Spot run" sentences. Use sentences of medium length and sentences that stretch the reader's or listener's attention to the breaking point.

Write a one word sentence. Wow. That will help break the monotony. Write ten word sentences that pull the reader gently along. Write fifty word sentences and test the reader's endurance, their capacity to linger with you as you explain some necessary and fundamental thing, as you outline the process you hope to achieve, a process that will eventually serve their needs and result in growth for them and the organization.

Or, bore the reader. Just like this. With short sentences. One after another. Three word sentences. One following another. Or, four word sentences. See how they run? Do you like them? Do they engage you? Not on your life. You annoyed your reader. The reader will stop. Your message will fail.

The reader has other choices, you know. He or she can pick up a magazine, a newspaper, a crossword puzzle, a product label, anything that has words on it, and read it, instead of your memo.

If you lose the reader, you will not communicate. You will just make noise - blah, blah, blah. If you want to keep the reader, if you want to connect, if you want to cause action, vary your sentences. Write a sentence that begins with three subordinate clauses (just like the previous sentence). Or, on the other hand, begin your sentence with a conjunction and a prepositional phrase - just like this sentence. Simple, compound, complex, compound-complex - it's your choice. And remember to keep the subject and verb close together.

Whatever you chose, take the reader on a journey. Stop. On a dime. Take a leisurely walk; over the hills and down through the valleys of your prose, running or walking, skipping or jumping., yelling as loud as you can. Then, stop for a deserved rest. Yes. Here. Wait. Just for a spell.

Now, get your wind. Hurry along with the words gathering behind you before they cascade over your shoulder. (Yes, throw in an image that the reader can see.) Then, slow down again. Stop. Write again. Use three words. Write four word sentences. Keep the reader guessing and interested.

Get along now; pick up some speed; go for the Big One; use a semicolon and join two clauses; and, while you're doing it, throw in another clause, joined to the first sentence. Don't worry. Your readers will follow you, especially when you have used the right tools, such as action verbs, active voice, and characters as subjects in logical prose that sees well chosen words placed within well crafted sentences that create coherent and seamless paragraphs.

Use the readability tool in Word.

2009-03-06T17:25:00.000-08:00

I admit to being a "late adopter" to technology and, therefore, I learned only recently that my computer has a "readability index" in Word. To make use of this valuable tool, all you have to do is enable it. (Sorry, you'll have to ask a techie.) Then, when you spellcheck any document, your computer will give you a readability report after it has told you to correct any spelling errors.

The readability index is based on the Flesch readability studies. The index measures the length of your words, sentences, and paragraphs and your use of passive voice. The tool suggests that most people read at a level between 8th and 11th grade and suggests, therefore, that if you want to reach most audiences, you need to use short words, short sentences and short paragraphs. Also, because active voice is more direct, the index suggests that you prefer active voice over passive.

I recently copied and pasted into Word Barack Obama's inauguration speech and his first report to Congress, just to see how he scored. These were speeches, of course, but they began as written documents, very few people speak extemporaneously these days, especially if they are presidents and paying talented speech writers.

So, how did Barack score on readability (think "understandability")? He scored mid-8th grade in the inaugural address and mid-9th grade in the speech to Congress.

You might say that he should have written to the mid-3rd grade level for Congress. Those folks have not been accused of being the brightest candles on the cake. In contrast to many elected officials, Winston Churchill understood the need to use plain language. I scored his famous "we will fight on the seas..." speech, the one he gave during WWII, and it scored mid-3rd grade level. Mid-3rd grade level! He certainly knew his audience! Both Obama and Churchill are known as great intellectuals, yet both chose to address his audience on a level that he was certain would communicate his message.

Great orators of English know that they need to use strong Anglo-Saxon words (the short kind) and short, crisp sentences. They know that they should avoid words from the Latin and Greek . You might enjoy writing to a co-worker and saying, "You are sui generis." Or, you might want to say to a relative, "Give up on being a omphaloskepsist," just to show off your learning, but you won't make your point as well as if you had said, "You are one of a kind!" and "Get your nose out of your navel."

The long words are for the academics and bureaucrats. Many academics write to impress each other and many bureaucrats write to conceal, not reveal. Long words (Latin and Greek words) help them. I encourage you to study the Greek and Latin origins of English to better understand the language, but avoid using the words, especially in business writing, in favor of their cousins, the Anglo-Saxons.

If you're not sure how your writing (and speaking) score, use the readability tool in Word. It's fun and revealing!

Never use three words when one will do.

2009-03-04T16:29:00.000-08:00

How often have you seen the phrase, "came up with"? For example, we "came up with" a new strategy. If you pay attention to your writing and the writing of others, you will see this kind of construction often. It is called a "phrasal," a verb with an adverb attached to it.

You will never have to remember that word, phrasal, unless you get a shot at "Jeopardy." "I'll take English grammar for $100, Alex." So, don't memorize it, but remember the notion. You don't have to use three words when one will do. In the case of "came up with," we prefer "we DEVELOPED a new strategy" or "we CREATED a new strategy" or "PROPOSED a new strategy."

That said, phrasals perform a useful function in idiomatic writing, when the adverb modifies the verb. Take the verb "run" and the many adverbs that attach themselves to it. Some one can run away. Or, you can run into a long lost friend. Or, God forbid, you might run over that friend. If you watch your language, you'll quickly get the run down on run!

Or, consider the mighty midget, "up." For one of the smallest words in the English language, it may just have the longest definition in the dictionary. It has so many uses thanks to its remora-like attachment to a host of verbs. For example, you might fix up an old engine and have it take up lots of space in the garage, or work up a thirst before opening up a can of brew, while you size up the situation. You might just give up, go into the house and dress up for the mechanics ball, if you are up to it, you might wind up with a great date.

Or, if you decide to be less idiomatic, you might repair an old engine and have it occupy a lot of space while you open a beer and review the situation before quitting to shower, shave and prepare for the ball (I was greatly tempted to say "spruce up"). And, if all goes well (a phrasal?), and you persevere, you may get lucky! All because you came to the point and used one word instead of three!

Want to have a good job interview? Have a conversation.

2009-03-03T14:12:00.001-08:00

I interviewed a student today, a mock interview. She wanted to practice because she has a second interview on Friday...with the CEO of a local company. Naturally she's a little nervous and wants to make a BIG impression on the BIG Cheese.

She didn't interview well with me. Why? For one thing, she sat in front of me, limpid and withdrawn. For another, she didn't smile and her poor posture reflected a meek and timid personality. To make things worse, she only spoke when I asked her questions; and then, she only answered with terse statements.

When we finished, I gently told her these things and she readily acknowledged them. Knowing she didn't do well, she asked me how to improve. I told her that a good interview, especially with a CEO, demands a good conversation. I told her that to have a good conversation she needs to stimulate a dialogue by asking the CEO questions. Of course, she had no idea what questions to ask. In my experience with mock interviews of students and prospective employees, no one knows what questions to ask.

I have seen this problem, not just for the last nine years I've been teaching at Carnegie Mellon University, but for the 20 years before when I interviewed prospective employees in the marketing and corporate communication departments under my direction. Everyone seems to think that an interview is a passive process. It isn't. It's a dialogue. You interview me; I interview you.

This kind of interview starts with attitude, the attitude that you, the prospective employee, have skills and talents that are marketable. Again, this attitude says, "I'm interviewing you as much as you are interviewing me." In boom times, or bust times, that questioning attitude pays off.

Notice that I'm not suggesting that an interviewee have "an attitude." Anyone who goes into an interview with arrogance and aggression is going to lose. I'm talking about confidence. You need to sit in an interview feeling confident that you have the skills, experience and general wherewithal to do the job under consideration. Again, this means, in part, that you are interviewing the interviewer to determine if the organization is a good fit for you, just as they are trying to determine if you fit with them.

You can learn whether or not they fit by asking them questions, just as they ask you questions. Your questions will stimulate dialogue and that will help to make you seem interesting, communicative and discerning. So, what questions should you ask?

Over the years, I have told so many students in so many mock interviews to ask questions and heard them say that they can't think of any questions, that I wrote them down, in book form, and sent the manuscript to an agent who sent the manuscript to a potential publisher. I can't list all 50 questions from my manuscript in this post, but I will list a few (in random order).

Questions to ask a prospective employer
1. What happened to the last person who had this job?
2. How are employees evaluated?
3. What is the management style of the organization?
4. What is the work-life balance?
5. Is there a 'glass ceiling?'

If you ask those kinds of questions, you will stimulate conversation and demonstrate a serious and discerning nature. Moreover, the interviewer will not feel as if he or she is in the presence of a lump. Nothing is worse than interviewing someone who sits limply in front of you and is unable to engage in a conversation. Trust me; I have interviewed some real lumps.

To test my questions, I sent my manuscript to an HR professional in Silicon Valley. She agreed with the premise and the questions and endorsed my manuscript. Take our word for it, if you want to have a good job interview, have a good conversation. And, use me as a reference!